Dealing with a hard decision

[blueskies]

Sandra,

My heart goes out to you. This vet has put you in a very difficult spot with this offer. I've heard of one other vet making this kind of offer, and in that case he was going to perform the surgery for free if the cat was given up for adoption. In that case, the owner really couldn't afford any care for her cat beyond food, and so it was heart-breaking, but sort of understandable.

In your case, this vet has seen you go to great lengths, with time, care, affection, and money, to take care of Bull. If he's going to do the surgery for free or at a reduced rate, on the condition that you give Bull to one of the office workers, that is just cruel. Why doesn't their compassion extend to you?

So sorry that you're going through this. We also have a little dog with a lot of health problems, and I know how tough these treatment decisions are.

Hugs,
Blueskies

[mtbdarby]

Wow. I also have 2 dogs with health problems and just lost one of them due to the same issue. I choose not to have the xrays or surgery and instead switched them to an all natural diet. This did help greatly until the end - turned out she had a tumor and she went quickly.

Anyway, please talk to the vet with dh. Ask him to provide all the specifics and alternatives on the surgery, adoption, costs etc. If it turns out it's for free or reduced cost but it means giving him up let him know how unfair and unethical you feel that is (if that's what you feel). If the girls at the vets office are footing the bill and willing to pick up future expenses then it's a different story and your very tough decision to make. I would personally struggle with separating my two dogs and did. But financial decisions are a reality and that's why I decided not to have the xrays with Xena - if it was kidney stones it meant surgery and I'd already spent $700 on her (which was my son's school tuition).

Keep us posted. No one will judge your decision and we've hear for you no matter what happens. Spend as much time with that adorable dog regardless and enjoy the time you have. ((((hugs)))

[rij73]

Oh, Sandra... I never heard of any choice so agonizing dealing with a pet. I think I can imagine how you feel. There is no way I could let me dog go live with someone else...

If they are so heartbroken, why don't they do the surgery for free or split the cost with you or something??? To offer to do it for free but only if you give up Bull seems cruel to me although I'm sure it's not their intention. It puts you in a terrible position.

He is YOUR DOG. You are the only one qualified to decide whether the humane thing to do is put him to sleep. Putting him through surgery and then sending him to a stranger is not fair to him or to you. He will not be happy... He will be in pain from surgery and confused as to why he is not home. I think it would a terrible thing to do.

We will all support you whatever you decide, but I hope you understand and agree with what I am saying. It may just be poor Bull's time to go, and you will know it better than anyone. If you decide that saving him is worth a try and is not putting him through too much, I would encourage you to not let only the money stop you. You might feel guilty about it afterwards.

Best of luck! Big HUG!!!

[sandra]

Hubby and I have sat and cried for the last hour and been over every option at least 10 more times back and forth. If it is possible, I think it is harder on my hubby than it is on me.

He does not feel that the vet intended any harm or cruelty. He thinks the he was just doing what he could do to save the dog. We know how hard it is for them to put one down. We have seen another female vet there crying and unable to talk because she had just had to put one down.

Hubby just left. I couldn't go. I just can't go there. He is going to talk with the vet. He also took his bed. If he goes home with someone else, I want him to have something familiar. His bed. I would have sent toys, but he doesn't play with any toys. He is just a lap dog.

[Triskeliongirl]

Hi Sandra, I am so soorry you have to go through this, but if it were me, I think I would be grateful that someone was willing to assume the cost of caring for an animal that I loved and could no longer afford to care for. I don't think its cruel, you already made the hard decision to draw the line financially. You shouldn't feel guilty about that, we all have limited resources and priorities, and taking care of home and family should come first. But knowing the dog is sickly, and its probably not just this one surgery, I think you should rest easy knowing that someone is willing to take on the financial burden. What financial arrangments he makes with his office staff is really between him and them, I am sure he is giving them a break, but it's probably part of their compensation pacakge (many people get discounts where they work), so maybe that is the best situation for a dog that is likely to require further expensive care. Rest easy, knowing this hard decision gives him the best gift you can, LIFE.

[sandra]

This has been comforting to hear all of the different thoughts. Thank you so much. I'm glad to be a part of TE!

[rij73]

I hope I didn't sound too harsh. Of course you should do what you think is right, and it really isn't easy...

Personally, I still think the vet is wrong to put you in this position. Do they do this to everyone who decides to have their dog put to sleep? It's such an agonizing decision to make, that once you make it, it should be final. The vet shouldn't put you on an emotional roller coaster. It's basically like their saying that you don't know what's best so they are taking the dog away from you...

Again, big HUG... I can't imagine what you are going through.

[sandra]

Bull had a stone the size of a bb and never would have passed it. The vet said that the surgery went well and he was doing OK. The vet said he was going to take him home with him tonight.

Hubby told the vet it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do to which the vet vet replied "I couldn't put him down"....

I'm glad he is doing good and in good hands.