Dealing with a hard decision

[KSH]

I have to say that I really don't think your vet should have put you in that situation. I don't understand why he would have to go to a new home for them to do the surgery for free. It doesn't sound like the person who would be getting him would be footing the bill, or really doing any of the surgery. I would call the vet himself and explain that you really appreciate what they're doing, but that you don't see why they couldn't do it free or for a reduced price for you. I just think he's put you in a worse situation emotionally than you would have been in putting him down.

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

[Blueberry]

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

Yeah - my impression was that he was just doing it because his staff asked him to and one of them wanted to take him home. I agree with you that perhaps letting him try, and going to a new home would be best (as opposed to putting him down) - but this *isn't* the situation where you can't/won't take care of your pet. I understand that when a neglected animal comes in, but this *clearly* isn't that situation.

I just really think the vet is wrong here. I'd definitely change vets after this is all over.

[sandra]

I just called my husband to ask him this. He said the vet did not say he would do it for free, that's just the impression he got. The vet did say that none of them wanted to see him put down and there were two girls that were willing to take him.

I guess we would also be putting him in a bad position. WE are willing to take him, yet, it is not fair for us to say that we want his services free or a reduced price.

[sandra]

He has been on pain medicine and muscle relaxers since Sunday night. He was comfortable and wagging his tail happy this morning. The stone had not budged so it didn't appear that he was going to pass it.

We have not gotten a second opinion. We totally trust this vet because he was the second opinion when we were about to put him down two years ago because of the salivary gland problem. The "people" surgeon was called in when no other vets thought they could handle it.

[KSH]

I just called my husband to ask him this. He said the vet did not say he would do it for free, that's just the impression he got. The vet did say that none of them wanted to see him put down and there were two girls that were willing to take him.

I guess we would also be putting him in a bad position. WE are willing to take him, yet, it is not fair for us to say that we want his services free or a reduced price.

Well, you might want to go to another vet. Another vet might give you a more positive diagnosis or maybe not charge as much for the surgery.

I think you also need to speak with this vet and really figure out what is going on behind the scenes. So there are two people willing to take the dog... and both of them can afford the surgery? Or are they getting the surgery at a reduced rate.

It just seems a bit cruel for them to say they will pay for it if one of them gets to keep the dog. Anyone who is a dog owner would know how this would break your heart.

[sandra]

Counting the ER Vet, we HAVE seen two vets. They both have said the same thing. I have read online, plus the experience of CA_in_NC, all seem to point to the same option.

[PinkPilot]

For some reason, I don't think they're trying to say that at all. I think his staff members are saying that they are willing to incur the expense at whatever rate for the surgery and to commit to incurring the expense for the rest of his life because they love Bull so much. I think they are heartbroken, too, and understand that sandra can't continue to incur expenses even though she loves him dearly, and feel that they can afford to look after him now in much the same way as parents who knowingly adopt a disabled child.

I had a dog who lived with me her entire life from 8 weeks until just shy of her 16th birthday and she had a lot of disabilities in the last few years and it can get very expensive. I know how heartbreaking this is. But, Ruffian loved the vet and his staff and, had I been so horribly unfortunate to have had to make a decision like this when she was 8, I would have been extremely grateful to my vet's staff. I knew them all very well.

It just seems a bit cruel for them to say they will pay for it if one of them gets to keep the dog. Anyone who is a dog owner would know how this would break your heart.

[Blueberry]

Sandra-

Point taken, but I still don't see why you shouldn't get be offered the same financial deal (whatever it is) that he is giving his staff. You've raised him, cared for him, taken him through other surgeries, and loved him. It just doesn't seem right....You're doing what we all do with pets (because we have to), which is try to balance prognosis with pain and cost of treatment. Changing one of those variables (cost of treatment) for someone else who would get to keep him just doesn't seem right....

I do think the other decision is whether you want him to have the surgery at all....My kitty was in good shape when we did it, but it *was* a painful and difficult surgery (think pain med *injections* for a week or so).

CA

[onimity]

I've heard about cases like this before, where essentially the vet is willing to do reduced price (usually) surgery where the person adopting the pet agrees to take on the medical care of the pet and not put the pet down except in cases where the pet has a fatal condition and the intent is to relieve suffering. When I adopted my (healthy) cat, the agreement I signed said that I would return him to the shelter rather than put him down if he was not terminally injured/ill. I know it seems cruel, but I think that the intent is to ensure that the pet lives a long and healthy life and will not be put down if more costly care becomes necessary. But from the perspective of the owner giving up the pet, I agree, it is very hard.

"I do believe it is a rather cruel trick to have to give him up to save his quality of life. It would have been better if they had just not told you--spirited him away and not given the fatal push."

I read about a case like this, actually, where the original owner found out and sued. I believe they had given them concrete powder or something in lieu of the pet's ashes. I think it's better to be honest about it personally...

Anne

[Blueberry]

I would normally agree regarding someone who can/is willing to take on the financial responsibility for a pet.

HOWEVER, this pet belongs to someone who has done WAY more for him that most people would (and I could be wrong, but I think if there were a better/surer prognosis, would do it again here). This borderline is a case about relieving suffering and, sadly, balancing cost with quality of life/pain/future prognosis. I really wonder what those shelters would say if the pet required treatment in the 10's of thousands of dollars - I doubt they'd be able to fund it should an animal be returned. It's sad, but it is a line that sometimes has to be drawn. I just don't think this is the same situation. Sandra still has another pup, and this vet would presumptively keep being compensated for services provided to that other pet. She's not abandoning either one or failing to provide for their medical care - she is trying to make a heart wrenching decision, and her vet is putting her in an even worse situation.

Just my 2 cents.

[sandra]

HOWEVER, this pet belongs to someone who has done WAY more for him that most people would (and I could be wrong, but I think if there were a better/surer prognosis, would do it again here).

You are not wrong. One part of me would pay the money for the surgery, knowing it was a risk. Knowing he may not even make it. Not knowing what the next thing might be. And in a way we have already done that. This is the next thing.

But the logical part of me says "how much more, when do you stop? We have certain obligations that cannot be changed. Things that we have committed to that are not an optional, repair work on the house, our son's wedding...."

Then the emotional side of me says you have just spent money on other things but you draw the line here!" But believe me, we have spent more than most people spend on a typical pet. He has had more than his share of issues and it feels somewhat like living waiting for the other shoe to drop with him.

Back and forth. I guess this is normal.

It's so hard to finally draw the line and not feel remorse along with all of the sadness.

[sbctwin]

{{{Sandra}}}
It is a difficult decision you are faced with. I had a horrible time when I finally had to make the decision to let Kallie (my kitty) go. Her vet bills were very high and I didn't want to make a decision about her based on money. But, there comes a time when it does come down to money.

I did everything I could for Kallie, but in the end, my vet told me I made the right decision because, though for a few months she seemed to be on the mend, the last two weeks of her life were agonizing for her and for me watching her trying to breathe.

If someone told me that there was an oxygen cage available for Kallie that she could use at anytime, but she would have to be moved to that place, I would have taken it. I would rather know that tail wagging was wagging for someone, even if not for me, than to have put Kallie to sleep.

We, who are fur-guardians know the painful decision you have to make. Peace be with you....

[sandra]

My sweet boy Bull.

[IMG][/IMG]

[Blueberry]

Awww...Sandra...he's adorable....

[ilima]

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

It is right, though. Even though it hurts. Because more expenses are bound to come up. The woman who will adopt him knows this. Well, the OP should ensure the woman is prepared for this. Poodles generally have long life spans; my neighbor's died at 15 and they can live to be older. This dog may have many more years left.

I know it's not an easy decision. I have two 13-year-old dogs and financially I simply don't know what I would do if they needed something expensive. One of them did have a melanoma removed a couple years back and I always fear it will return leaving me with a very difficult decision to make.