WOW! Hugs to both you and your DH. That's a *really* tough situation.

I have to say that I really don't think your vet should have put you in that situation. I don't understand why he would have to go to a new home for them to do the surgery for free. It doesn't sound like the person who would be getting him would be footing the bill, or really doing any of the surgery. I would call the vet himself and explain that you really appreciate what they're doing, but that you don't see why they couldn't do it free or for a reduced price for you. I just think he's put you in a worse situation emotionally than you would have been in putting him down.

As an aside, we've been through 2 surgeries with a kitty with the same problem. One of the things they tried (which did help some) was to give our kitty a serious muscle relaxer to try to make it easier for him to pass the stone. It didn't work, but it did make it more comfortable until they could do the surgery (we did the flush thing and it didn't work, so we had to do the full surgery).

CA