Dealing with a hard decision

[OakLeaf]

oh (((((((sandra))))))) hugs

I don't have any advice for you. Each pet is different - making the decision was different for each of our four dogs.

But just, I really feel for you, I know just how horribly painful it is, and sending good vibes to you and Bull.

[mimitabby]

wow, that is a tough one. Do you have visitation rights?

[sandra]

wow, that is a tough one. Do you have visitation rights?

I don't know if I could bear it.

[KSH]

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet little pup being so sick.

Gosh, this is a really hard situation.

Let's see...

1) Someone is willing to pay for the dogs surgery, but they get to keep the dog when the surgery is done? I think that is nice of that person, but somewhat cruel as well.

2) You have him put to sleep and he doesn't get the surgery.

Well, think about what is right for him, no matter how much it hurts you. What would be right for him is to give him an opportunity to live... even if that means you won't be his Mom anymore.

I had to make a hard decision like this a year ago. I was never home and my dog was acting out. She was also sick and I couldn't afford all the vet bills. I finally gave her to a new home, because I knew it was best for her. I cried my eyes out, but only for one night. After that I told myself I wasn't allowed to cry anymore, because I did what was best for her.... I did the right thing.

You see, the right thing doesn't always feel good to do... even if it's the right decision.

I wish you the best of luck in deciding what to do.

[KSH]

I have to say that I really don't think your vet should have put you in that situation. I don't understand why he would have to go to a new home for them to do the surgery for free. It doesn't sound like the person who would be getting him would be footing the bill, or really doing any of the surgery. I would call the vet himself and explain that you really appreciate what they're doing, but that you don't see why they couldn't do it free or for a reduced price for you. I just think he's put you in a worse situation emotionally than you would have been in putting him down.

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

[Blueberry]

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

Yeah - my impression was that he was just doing it because his staff asked him to and one of them wanted to take him home. I agree with you that perhaps letting him try, and going to a new home would be best (as opposed to putting him down) - but this *isn't* the situation where you can't/won't take care of your pet. I understand that when a neglected animal comes in, but this *clearly* isn't that situation.

I just really think the vet is wrong here. I'd definitely change vets after this is all over.

[sandra]

I just called my husband to ask him this. He said the vet did not say he would do it for free, that's just the impression he got. The vet did say that none of them wanted to see him put down and there were two girls that were willing to take him.

I guess we would also be putting him in a bad position. WE are willing to take him, yet, it is not fair for us to say that we want his services free or a reduced price.

[ilima]

I guess I have that question too. Would that person pay for the surgery, or would it be done for free and they get to keep the dog?

See, that's not right.

It is right, though. Even though it hurts. Because more expenses are bound to come up. The woman who will adopt him knows this. Well, the OP should ensure the woman is prepared for this. Poodles generally have long life spans; my neighbor's died at 15 and they can live to be older. This dog may have many more years left.

I know it's not an easy decision. I have two 13-year-old dogs and financially I simply don't know what I would do if they needed something expensive. One of them did have a melanoma removed a couple years back and I always fear it will return leaving me with a very difficult decision to make.

[sandra]

There are many factors that I didn't even discuss. With congestive heart failure already and all of his other problems, I don't think he would have a really long life span, but there is no way of knowing.

We were trying to hold off surgery because the vet had explained that there was a chance that after the surgery he could have urethral stricture ~ scar tissue that forms and essentially having the same consequenses as the kidney stone ~ blockage. Then what? More surgery? We didn't even get that far.

He took Lasix for his CHF. For years we have worked our schedule around him being able to take his pill and us being home to let him outside. It is difficult to plan to go anywhere for any length of time because pet sitters/boarders are not able to stay with him and let him in and out constantly for 3 -4 hours.

No one wanted to see him put to sleep. We have to believe that we made the best decision for his future and medical care.

[Blueberry]

WOW! Hugs to both you and your DH. That's a *really* tough situation.

I have to say that I really don't think your vet should have put you in that situation. I don't understand why he would have to go to a new home for them to do the surgery for free. It doesn't sound like the person who would be getting him would be footing the bill, or really doing any of the surgery. I would call the vet himself and explain that you really appreciate what they're doing, but that you don't see why they couldn't do it free or for a reduced price for you. I just think he's put you in a worse situation emotionally than you would have been in putting him down.

As an aside, we've been through 2 surgeries with a kitty with the same problem. One of the things they tried (which did help some) was to give our kitty a serious muscle relaxer to try to make it easier for him to pass the stone. It didn't work, but it did make it more comfortable until they could do the surgery (we did the flush thing and it didn't work, so we had to do the full surgery).

CA

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Sandra,
I really feel for you. I know how hard this is.

Here's what could happen:
1) Bull could be put to sleep now.
2) Bull could have the surgery successfully and have a new loving home for his remaining life and receive great medical care (at least until some other ailment does him in).
3) Bull could have an unsuccessful surgery and not make it through.

What would be the best thing for Bull?

Seems to me all 3 options involve Bull not suffering a lengthy great deal of pain. That's good.
So then...if you were Bull which option would you choose?

If I were Bull, I would choose option #2.
Option #2 also has the advantage of not costing you any more.

One other thing to consider:
Any of your options are going to involve you crying a lot and feeling absolutely miserable. So you really can't avoid that aspect of it. So with that in mind, try to think of what is best for Bull, not for you.

I'm just trying to help you see the situation from a more objective angle of not being inside it. Believe me, I know how heartbreaking it all is.

Sending hugs and good vibes out to you and yours.....