Hub, it sounds like this is a tough time for both of you.
I really wish I knew how to advise on finding a hobby, but there's a lot of complexity in your lives right now...magnified by an uncertain prognosis. I do think that some level of light physical exertion would help his depression...
As a man, I want to say "Is it possible that he's lonely and scared...and using the idea of a hobby as a 'red herring' for more companionship." BUT, your "bossing around" comment really bugs me about whether he's being sincere or not...and that's why I don't know what to say...
If you don't grow where you're planted, you'll never BLOOM - Will Rogers
When my husband was on dialysis, we played games. Nintendo, Phase 10, etc. We liked to play Tetris a lot, and Phase 10 (card game). He often did not have the energy to go walking, and by the time his transplant came around, he should have been in a wheelchair, so walks that were once taken were no longer an option. We are both competetive, so Tetris was a good avenue for us. It satified the need to compete, yet gave us quality time together. As far as your need to ride your bike, have you tried to explain that when you are on your bike, that is when your problems, ie. stress, leave even for a short time? I am fortunate that my husband understood this about my exercise (I was not riding at the time, but was exercising). I tell people that the reason that I do not have to take purple happy pills, is that I exercise.
Hub, it sounds like this is a tough time for both of you.
As a man, I want to say "Is it possible that he's lonely and scared...and using the idea of a hobby as a 'red herring' for more companionship." ...
That's part of it- he depends on me for his emotional support and entertainment- I know that he is trying to get more of my attention
and time. As far as being bossy- that's his nature- not a new development. The deal is that since I'm the one responsible for more and more stuff- I'm less inclined to be told what to do and how to do it.
I did mention the cooking and HAM stuff this morning . . . told him just to think about it- Right now we're still waiting for the info from his bone marrow biopsy.
thanks y'all
Of and for support - I have my mom & my sis - I talk to them almost every day- and I work with a great bunch of folks- and then there are my neighbors- that keep the little one during the day
shown here with her poppa.
Last edited by Hub; 10-16-2007 at 07:46 AM.
Reason: attach photo
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.