Health Issues that su** (long)

[margo49]

Nothing hellovan intelligent to offer but thoughts.

And to suggest that you try not to worry yourself into a tail-spin. Easy to say but you have a brilliant mind that I reckon you could get it to convince your brain's "worrying" circuits that it's in everybody's best interests that they should stay quiet for a while!
You have family, friends, TE and a string of good doctors. If there is something to find it will be found. In the meantime several terrible things have been crossed of the "possibles" list.
And remember : at any given moment chances are that nothing terrible is actually happening to you. So if you live in the moment and say this to yourself (the above) when you start to "think thoughts" you can calm yourself remarkably effectively.
I also recommend nice music (like those Nature Sounds ones) and nice pleasant art or pictures.

btw, I love your description of your extended family!

[Tuckervill]

Ditto what Margo said. What you need is distraction. Do something to change your state of mind, and what's best is usually something physical. Can you take a walk or get you and dh in the car and go out somewhere that you won't have to interact with a lot of people? (Or maybe where you DO.)

Maybe there's a nice calm place you can walk around with your husband--a botanic garden or something? That way you can still sort your thoughts, but have more opportunity to focus on something else? Even if you don't feel like it, give it a try, knowing ahead of time that you can leave if you really can't handle it.

I often use this idea with my children, kind of a 3-way communication. They tell me more about their thoughts and feelings when we're doing something else that doesn't require too much attention, like a hike down a nature trail. I suppose there's something mind clearing about it.

How about some stream-of-consciousness journaling? Pour it all out on the page.

Do something else to make the time pass, because that's the goal--allowing the time to pass. Don't think too much about when your husband will be away--it's still a ways off and this can all be over by then.

Still vibing,
Karen

[Crankin]

I did go out with hubby today. We are building a patio and finishing backyard landscaping, so we went to buy some things related to that. Then we went out to lunch. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to eat, but I did. I have been trying to exercise, still, but last week was a wash; all I did was the ride on Sunday, which was really good. Yesterday i walked the 2.5 mile loop of my street, which is a climb. I may go walking today, still, but maybe on a trail. I feel better when I am out there (mentally), but it doesn't do much once I get back.
Margo, my family is weird. Since my mom died, I realy don't have much to do with them. And, when we got home from lunch, I had a message from my aunt. I told her I hadn't called her back because I didn't like the hateful political message she left on my voice mail when she was wishing me Shana Tova a couple of weeks ago (a real contradiction, wouldn't you say?). I gave her a brief run down of what was going on and then said i would call her when i had more info.

[Zen]

Robyn, I have a thyroid ultrasound scheduled for next Wednesday. For some reason i just don't worry about things. That's my personality. If it's ok, then good for me. if not, I'll do what I gotta do.

People deal with things in their own way but try to relax somehow. all that stress and worry only raises your cortisol (and other hormone) levels.

[Velobambina]

Robyn --- Nothing helpful to add in terms of advice. I will, however, say a couple prayers for you and will send lots of good thoughts your way. Try to think positive and realize that you have a lot of folks who care about you.

FWIW, I understand about the family. Same thing happened when my dad died in '05 (my mom's been gone since '01). Although I have three siblings, I'm in very limited contact w/only my younger brother. The other two, forget it. It's sad, but for me, it's for the best.