Yeah, I thought you were maybe cleaning your garage.

God, after all this time (I get them every three years because of family colon cancer history), I never thought of aloe/baby wipes. Thanks, guys. Great idea. And yup, entertainment in the bathroom during prep is a must. I get LOTS of reading done.

bacarver has the rest exactly right, although I have never even had a momentary desire to yarp.

There are lots of reasons for abdominal discomfort, and many are quite treatable, so take heart..you will get through this...