Realty check - body image

[LBTC]

Wow! I think good bras are much less expensive in the US! I must have tried on 15 bras in this little independent store, the cheapest of which was $80, the most expensive was $180. It made the price of the one I bought (yes, I did buy it - it worked very well with the low cut top for the alpha b**ch outfit) seem not terrible. And, yes, now that I know my size and the finer points of a good fit, I will visit a lower end store to buy one or two less expensive, well fitting bras. At least one of those will be microfibre. Too bad their microfibre bra was in the wrong colour.

I think one of the things that is weird about this larger cup size issue, is that it really emphasizes that I *must* have a well fitting bra all of the time. These girls need support! It's a bitter sweet feeling. For years I was quite a bit on the small side, and my perception of myself hasn't changed since then! How strange to be a woman!

My DH has been wonderful through all of this, wanting me to upgrade my wardrobe to help me feel better about me. This is a fabulous thing! And the clothes shopping really helped to make up for the high cost of the bra. A pair of suede and leather shoes, a belt, 3 skirts (one in leather) 3 tops and a suede jacket for $225. Still more money than I usually spend, but I think I did well.

Today I'll be wearing the fab new bra, one of the skirts and the shoes, with an old favourite blouse. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you for the encouragement, support and reminders to be gentle with me! And especially for the great stories of how unpleasant shopping can be! I feel like I'm not alone!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[emily_in_nc]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

[Triskeliongirl]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

I secnd that. I buy the full coverage version. Been buying 36C but now they are on the smallest hook so I think I am headed towards a 34C. They are $40 new, but often go on sale. I think I paid half that at their last 'semi-annual' sale. They are good fitting and really seem to last. Is it possible for you to mail order them (useing the size chart).

[smilingcat]

HURRRAAYYY!!!! THEIR ARE OTHERS OUT THERE WHO HATE SHOPPING!!!

I get so self conscious. My common sense goes out the door. I know I need to look profession cause of my job. (Mr. Silver in his suit/tie and bike short was really wonderful). But what does a professional serious woman supposed to wear? I don't want to look like an never married old spinster grade school teacher. Nor do I want to look anything like Pamela Anderson (I don't have her boobies), nor any of the girls who are headlining all those tabloid rags aka Brittney and company.

I wouldn't mind having the kind of Audrey Hepbourn-nesque look but seriously who has such anorexic look.

As one of my close friend who also hates to shop said, "I was traumatized growing up. My mother would yell out we need a chubby size 12!!!" Afterwards, here honey have a cookie. It will make you feel better.

Speaking of which, I need to redo my wardrobe cause nothin' is fitting. Haven't cloth shopped for a whole year.

Smilingcat

[kdskaggs]

I am tiny person with tiny boobs to match. What I once had is now gone after nursing my now teen-age kids. Bra and bathing suit shopping are enough to put me in a depression! I hate bra shopping! I have been measured a few times and it is so embarrasing to be told you are a 32A! :O I find a bra I like and then order it online when I need more. In this day of breast implants, it doesn't seem like there are many 32A's left, at least not many over the age of 12.

Kenda

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Kenda, I think there are PLENTY of natural A cup women out there...and plenty smaller too.

In my twenties I was a 34AA (all the way through breastfeeding two children for 3 years, too). Then at about 35 I became a 34A. Now in my 50's I'm a 36A. I don't feel too small at all! Maybe you are seeing a lot of A cup women wearing padded and pushup bras nowadays and they just look bigger- those bras are everywhere, and they do make one look bigger.
(remember the "36" is just the measurement around your ribcage, under your boobs. The "A", "B", "DD" etc is the actual cup size.)

I think the huge perky rock-hard grapefruit look is what we see everywhere in magazines, on the internet, in the movies... It's NOT what most women look like naturally....not by a long shot. Unless you are nursing a baby and are painfully engorged with milk- breasts are supposed to be soft and hang on the body in a natural graceful way. And natural breasts don't have cleavage on TOP when one is just standing naked. Natural breasts are beautiful, whether large or small, yet we are bombarded (boobarded?) with the promotion of structurally altered fakeness geared towards making us feel less beautiful about our own bodies.

Sorry....couldn't help a little rant....

[Trek420]

Title 9 also does fittings (if you know your size you can order online) and they did a great job with both Trek420 and I.

I hate to shop. But the Title 9 shopping experience was really quite good. I used to get whatever Primalwear uniboob producing thing I could fit the gals into

Knott's right. The key to nirvana is a bra that fits

One trip to T 9 now I know what fits and just as important which ones I like. Then bought online at Sierra Trading Post etc.

But $155? For that price it'd better hold 'em up, pedal your bike, cook dinner, built in back massager....

[kaybee]

Not sure which I hate more -- bra shopping or shoe shopping. Small chest + big feet = unpleasant shopping experience

KB

[Eden]

$155!! wowza, I balk at $15.......
but I am another 32A, so I look for minimal support and lots of comfort.
I prefer sports bras and I've really become a big, big fan of camisols recently. sooooooooo comfy

[teigyr]

I can relate to body image because sometimes aging is not kind. I stagger a bit and think "but...but...I've always been <insert size here>!".

It's humiliating. I do agree that things that fit are the best. Unfortunately I'm bad at that also, I balk at going up a size. I've had to swallow my pride though and do it and I honestly think we are harder on ourselves than others are to us.

I like bras. It's a relatively inexpensive way to (but not at $155! ) play and have fun. Same goes for undergarments in general, you can get any color and get all wild but nobody knows the difference. I'm not 100% impressed with VS in some things but they are good for others.

The most absolute worst thing (that I will share because I have no shame) is I had to get old/large people "support" undies to fit under pants I have. I got 'em. They looked SO heavy duty and were tri short configuration. (Had previously been wearing tri shorts under these pants because the pants show lines really easily.) I was running late and had to dress "professionally" so on went the support granny panties. They shredded. I kid you not, the first time I wore them I shredded underwear meant for large women that were trying to fit into smaller clothes. I was mortified. How many people can say they broke a girdle type undergarment?

Everyone assures me there was a defect. I am not convinced

[KSH]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

Some women pay $5,000 to up a bra size or two... I would see that as something good getting bigger boobs!

Yea, I don't pay over $20-ish for a bra. I have found the Target bras to be just as comfy as $40 bras... even more so.

Otherwise clothes shopping sucks! Who do they make these clothes for? Really.

[Grog]

I think the huge perky rock-hard grapefruit look is what we see everywhere in magazines, on the internet, in the movies... It's NOT what most women look like naturally....not by a long shot. Unless you are nursing a baby and are painfully engorged with milk- breasts are supposed to be soft and hang on the body in a natural graceful way. And natural breasts don't have cleavage on TOP when one is just standing naked. Natural breasts are beautiful, whether large or small, yet we are bombarded (boobarded?) with the promotion of structurally altered fakeness geared towards making us feel less beautiful about our own bodies.

Just to add to your rant: I am about 34A/AA and I actually really like being like that. However it's nearly impossible to get a bra that has no padding in that size. It's assumed that I'd want to show more than I have. I find this really annoying. The only option otherwise is the flat-chesting sport bra. And when I find a non-padded 34A, it's usually not really well constructed. *sigh*

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

...I was running late and had to dress "professionally" so on went the support granny panties. They shredded. I kid you not, the first time I wore them I shredded underwear meant for large women that were trying to fit into smaller clothes. I was mortified. How many people can say they broke a girdle type undergarment?
Everyone assures me there was a defect. I am not convinced

Hey maybe they were those special edible underwear, some sort of "cole slaw" variety? Maybe they were "supposed" to shred?

[Eden]

Just to add to your rant: I am about 34A/AA and I actually really like being like that. However it's nearly impossible to get a bra that has no padding in that size. It's assumed that I'd want to show more than I have. I find this really annoying. The only option otherwise is the flat-chesting sport bra. And when I find a non-padded 34A, it's usually not really well constructed. *sigh*

My favorites are the "Barely There" brand - I like a bit of support, but I won't buy a bra with padding or wires in it. Of course they don't even call things by this description bras... they call them bralets.... http://www.barelythere.com/style.asp?cid=4&id=33
Love their cami's too

[mary9761]

I hate my body, have for a long time and the longer I'm off the bike, the more I hate it and the more I want to eat (vicious circle) I have NEVER had a bra that fit and the ones I have right now are ill fitting 50DDD that are near impossible to find. I don't have 50-155 to spend on a single bra, but even when I buy a bra it may fit ok once or twice then the support starts to break down under the weight of my sagging behemoths. Even having lost weight they are a pain in the (fill in the blank). Since I've lost weight, they are saggier than ever. This is one of the first places I gain weight and last I lose, but the weight I lost has only made my body image worse in this case. They are nearly to my waist and I figure by the time I finish (if I finish) losing my weight they will literally be to my knees empty skin sacks with a lump in the bottom. I lay on my back, they fall into my armpits, I get too far onto my back and they smother me. I bend over too far they smother me. My husband loves me the way I am, but too bad I don't either way it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..