Realty check - body image

[northstar]

I find that, for body-image purposes, it's better to have great clothes that fit you NOW than to have clothes that you hope will fit you well in the future.

I second this.

I've done it two ways: clung to clothes that were the size I've wanted to be, and I've also donated them and gone shopping when I've lost weight. The latter has been a happier option for me. The guilt of seeing the stuff in the closet didn't help motivate me.

I think that's a lot to spend on any item of clothing, but then when I think about it, I spend that much on a biking shirt and shorts that I won't be wearing several times a week (depending on how good you are about doing laundry!). So, if it's a fabulous bra, maybe it's not all that much. All depends on perspective, I guess!

[Laterider21958]

Shopping for bras is a pet hate of mine. For about 6 years or more I've been buying the same ones (sometimes in black/cream/pink) however last year they were discontinued!!!!!! I am currently cherishing the good ones I still have. By 'good ones' I mean those that still have elastic that works well. When the elastic gives up the ghost, they are very uncomfortable and very tiring to wear and I can't wait to rip them off at the end of the day.

I must have tried 30 or 40 different brands/styles/sizes since discovering that my old faithfuls cannot be replaced, but to no avail. What do you do with those fleshy wobbly bits under your arms that insist on bulging out? (Other than drastic dieting!) It's amazing how they always look OK on the hanger, but are atrocious when put on. I've also noticed that lots of cups are fortified by foam, which changes the shape of your boobs totally. There's the Madonna look (when you end up with pointed parts and then the voluptuous look (where your boobs are in danger of greeting you every time you bend over). I prefer a natural shape rather than a pushed up top, flattened lower area. You also can't just go by the sizing on the label, you have to try them on.

If ever I find ones that are comfortable and look natural, I'll stock up big time!

[lph]

This is funny - I like my body just fine, and most of the time I'm darn proud of it, actually but I HATE shopping for clothes too. There's something about the combo of shop lighting, full-length mirrors and the gaggles of skinny 14-year-olds swarming right outside your flimsy curtain that will make any sane woman feel fat, pale, spotty and hairy.

And bras er the worst. I'm an A-cup, (actually an AA-cup, but that leaves me with the padded foam Snoopy bras) and have only managed to find one model from Triumph at a reasonable price that doesn't make me look like I'm borrowing my mother's underwear.

I wish I could just wear sports bras - everybody's flatchested then!

My beloved dh knows how much I hate to shop, so when he gets sick of seeing me in the same clothes he'll sometimes go shopping for me, bring home a bunch of clothes (checking the size on himself, he's not much taller (no, not bras)), and return the ones I don't want.... I really don't deserve this man.

[spokewench]

Buy a bra that fits right now! But I wouldn't spend $155 for it. You were fitted so you should know how they are supposed to fit now Go to a reputable store and buy a decent brand of bra that fits you now. You will really appreciate it. I did this a year or so ago and am very happy about it and, yes, even though I am really not overweight, I do wear a larger bra size that I was before and it soooo much more comfortable and flattering under my clothes which in turn makes me feel better. Then as your size goes down as you get fitter - go buy another bra or two - you are definitely worth it!

[LBTC]

Wow! I think good bras are much less expensive in the US! I must have tried on 15 bras in this little independent store, the cheapest of which was $80, the most expensive was $180. It made the price of the one I bought (yes, I did buy it - it worked very well with the low cut top for the alpha b**ch outfit) seem not terrible. And, yes, now that I know my size and the finer points of a good fit, I will visit a lower end store to buy one or two less expensive, well fitting bras. At least one of those will be microfibre. Too bad their microfibre bra was in the wrong colour.

I think one of the things that is weird about this larger cup size issue, is that it really emphasizes that I *must* have a well fitting bra all of the time. These girls need support! It's a bitter sweet feeling. For years I was quite a bit on the small side, and my perception of myself hasn't changed since then! How strange to be a woman!

My DH has been wonderful through all of this, wanting me to upgrade my wardrobe to help me feel better about me. This is a fabulous thing! And the clothes shopping really helped to make up for the high cost of the bra. A pair of suede and leather shoes, a belt, 3 skirts (one in leather) 3 tops and a suede jacket for $225. Still more money than I usually spend, but I think I did well.

Today I'll be wearing the fab new bra, one of the skirts and the shoes, with an old favourite blouse. I'll keep you posted.

Thank you for the encouragement, support and reminders to be gentle with me! And especially for the great stories of how unpleasant shopping can be! I feel like I'm not alone!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[kaybee]

Not sure which I hate more -- bra shopping or shoe shopping. Small chest + big feet = unpleasant shopping experience

KB

[Eden]

$155!! wowza, I balk at $15.......
but I am another 32A, so I look for minimal support and lots of comfort.
I prefer sports bras and I've really become a big, big fan of camisols recently. sooooooooo comfy

[emily_in_nc]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

[Triskeliongirl]

Body by Victoria bras are the best IMO. They're pricy (to frugal me) at ~$40 depending on style, but they're sleek, pretty, and do the job. I don't wear a large size so can't comment on how well they work in larger sizes, but I know that they come in "full coverage" versions as well as the demi style I wear (34B). Pretty colors too!

Good luck!
Emily

I secnd that. I buy the full coverage version. Been buying 36C but now they are on the smallest hook so I think I am headed towards a 34C. They are $40 new, but often go on sale. I think I paid half that at their last 'semi-annual' sale. They are good fitting and really seem to last. Is it possible for you to mail order them (useing the size chart).

[smilingcat]

HURRRAAYYY!!!! THEIR ARE OTHERS OUT THERE WHO HATE SHOPPING!!!

I get so self conscious. My common sense goes out the door. I know I need to look profession cause of my job. (Mr. Silver in his suit/tie and bike short was really wonderful). But what does a professional serious woman supposed to wear? I don't want to look like an never married old spinster grade school teacher. Nor do I want to look anything like Pamela Anderson (I don't have her boobies), nor any of the girls who are headlining all those tabloid rags aka Brittney and company.

I wouldn't mind having the kind of Audrey Hepbourn-nesque look but seriously who has such anorexic look.

As one of my close friend who also hates to shop said, "I was traumatized growing up. My mother would yell out we need a chubby size 12!!!" Afterwards, here honey have a cookie. It will make you feel better.

Speaking of which, I need to redo my wardrobe cause nothin' is fitting. Haven't cloth shopped for a whole year.

Smilingcat

[mary9761]

I hate my body, have for a long time and the longer I'm off the bike, the more I hate it and the more I want to eat (vicious circle) I have NEVER had a bra that fit and the ones I have right now are ill fitting 50DDD that are near impossible to find. I don't have 50-155 to spend on a single bra, but even when I buy a bra it may fit ok once or twice then the support starts to break down under the weight of my sagging behemoths. Even having lost weight they are a pain in the (fill in the blank). Since I've lost weight, they are saggier than ever. This is one of the first places I gain weight and last I lose, but the weight I lost has only made my body image worse in this case. They are nearly to my waist and I figure by the time I finish (if I finish) losing my weight they will literally be to my knees empty skin sacks with a lump in the bottom. I lay on my back, they fall into my armpits, I get too far onto my back and they smother me. I bend over too far they smother me. My husband loves me the way I am, but too bad I don't either way it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..

[teigyr]

... it's hard to feel sexy with all the loose skin as I lose weight and it's hard to feel sexy weighing over 300 pounds (thankfully not back there yet, but approaching it again.)
Sorry I know TMI..

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

There is so much we don't have control of and when you find that place where you're happy and want to stay, ask for help to make it better. The cycling is such a good step to all of that.

I never believed in plastic surgery at all. Starting from way back when til about 10 years ago, I've had multiple surgeries on my abdomen. No matter what I do, I've lost muscle tone and it sags. DH, who is adverse to "beautification" as I am, even said that if I ever wanted, it should be fixed.

The way I see it there is vanity and there is "fixing". Be healthy, be happy, and for those things you can't do, have someone help you.

I know it's a struggle though.

[deedolce]

Ooog. I've been living in sports bras. Went to the VS site, and measured myself. My chest size is 1" smaller than my band size!! If there was a 36AAAA, that would probably be me.

My top, or lack of, is my biggest area of self consciousness, in the buff. Enough to make me stay single, even. Bleh. I look good on a bike, though!

[Dianyla]

no, not TMI at all. Do what is healthy for you and what makes you feel good. When all's said and done, then get someone to fix the excess skin.

Seconding this. A good friend of mine used to be obese in the 220-230 lbs range. She has completely changed her lifestyle and is an extremely fit person, teaching yoga, and being active. She's like a size 0-2 now. However, after losing all that weight she had a lot of loose skin. It was like pizza dough, she could pull and stretch it out 6" away from her body, and she actually had to tuck it into her pants. She had a pannus reduction surgery earlier this year and is thrilled with the results.

Just make sure you go with a good surgeon, it is a fairly major procedure.

[glamgurl36]

i think we all have our i hate my body moments..but at least you can recognize it early and do something about it..its hard because our lives are so busy...its a good thing we have riding