Realty check - body image

[LBTC]

Yesterday DH took me to my favourite store and the owner, my friend, got me all dolled up in some fab new outfits including the total alpha b**ch work clothes. hmmmm Well, that was cool and made me feel wonderful, even though some of the sizes were a large....

Then we went to a very nice bra store and I was fitted properly. It's been a few years. I used to be a nice tidy 34C. Well, now I'm a 34D, and in some brands a 34 DD

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Veronica]

I just refuse to shop in a store period. I do everything on line. Seriously, I hate to shop. I think it's because I don't like people. If I could just have the store all to myself...

I assume my bras fit properly. They are mediums from Patagonia.

It's been a tough 14 months for you. Logically you know why you're not in the place you want to be. But emotionally, it's hard to take. I think it's hard for women to separate what we look like from who we are inside. Men always seem to think they're hot, even with the huge beer gut and the hairy back.

If it were me, I wouldn't buy the bra, unless the ones I had were terrible. You're working on getting back in shape. It won't fit in a few months.

Sending those hugs and butterflies right back at ya.

V.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

This is pretty conflicting. I hate to spend $155 on a great new bra that actually fits when I'm just beginning to get back into shape. I don't know what to think of the extra size in those cups And, of course, DH has no idea why this is an odd and difficult time for me and how I feel about my body.

Anyone else find bra shopping difficult, unfun and sometimes terrible for body image?

I've never spent more than $20 or so on a bra (Underarmour sports bra), with the average price I pay being about $12 or 15.... so I think it doesn't bother me much if I have to buy a different size or style bra every other year or so. I think if I spent $155 on a bra it would KILL me to have to go buy a different size one before it fell apart and I got my "money's worth" out of it!
I am not very big on top so maybe I can get away with buying less expensive bras?

[KnottedYet]

A well-fitting bra can be the key to serenity...

(bras drive me nuts for the most part)

$155 for a bra is a little beyond me, though.

Nordstrom does fittings, and I bought a bra there when I truly didn't know my size. I walked in, grabbed the first clerk I saw, and said, "I've lost 50 pounds, I have no idea what size I am, and I only want to buy ONE bra today."

She sized me and found one that fit me perfectly, cost $35 or so, and I still have it and wear it to this day.

Title 9 also does fittings (if you know your size you can order online) and they did a great job with both Trek420 and I. I just bought an expensive bra ($50) from them, which fits me very well and is very comfy.

(I have funny shoulder issues from my cancer surgery, so I don't mind spending some $$ on bras that feel good.)

[Grog]

I come out of the closet as one who likes very well-fitted bras, despite (or because) of my 34A(or AA, thanks to cycling and running...)-sized chest. Little I have, I like to be have wrapped in a pretty AND comfortable bra.

I LOVE going to an actual lingerie store with a true professional attendant who will size me properly. There is a very nice store right next to a good bike shop here in Vancouver: you can get fitted on your bike on one side, and in a nice bra on the other. Both are equally important to me!

I find that, for body-image purposes, it's better to have great clothes that fit you NOW than to have clothes that you hope will fit you well in the future. That way, when you look at yourself, you can say 'Wow' and not be constantly reminded that you're not the size you'd like to be. No matter what size you are, you are gorgeous, and your clothes should emphasize that (but not steal the show).

Plus: Too-tight bras create an "overflow" problem that shows through clothing, especially buttoned shirts (not so much for heavy sweaters of course). What is the purpose of getting nice suits if the base layer is neglected?

Properly fitted underwear does a lot for my self-confidence. I really hate having to pull at a too big/small piece of underwear as I walk to the front of a room to give a talk. It's not that important to look good, but I find that it's a great confidence-booster in critical moments.

Nice, well-fitted bras are not necessarily that expensive. I'm sure your friend can help you find something good in the $50 range, and, if not, visit a good lingerie store. Those that have been around for a while usually have lots of older models in the backstore, organized by size. They're the best!

And if you come around Vancouver soon, I'll gladly take you bra-shopping!!!!

[solobiker]

I hate to shop, just like V. I just don't like to be around crowds of people. I work with people all week so the last place I want to be is surrounded by more. I would rather be outside, so I opt for spending no more then $25. I have a very hard time buying clothing (other then outdoor/sport clothing) for myself. However, if it fits well and makes you feel better then it is worth it.

[Aggie_Ama]

I hate to shop! In the last year I have put on 20 pounds mostly due to stress eating and not coping with it well. I feel pretty upset about it. This weekend I wanted to get some board shorts and found the XLs wouldn't fit me. I am only 150 right now, so I am not be any means large. You know what is does for you when an XL won't fit your hips? The shops on the island only sold Juniors and then the cover ups that remind me of my grandma. Didn't know I had been force out of anything I would wear. So yes, I feel your pain.

[solobiker]

I too have gained some weight due to stess eating and my bras seem tighter. I hope to be able to drop those 10 pounds I gained during my 5 moves I did this past year. I am also way too shy to have a "fit" I did it once and that was more then enough for me. I still wear T-shirts over my bathing suit

[Triskeliongirl]

My suggestion is to buy clothes that you love and that fit you NOW, but don't buy very many and don't spend that much money on a single bra. I buy mine at victoria's secret, and even not on sale they don't cost anything like that much.

I lost 29 lbs over the last 6 months, and since I am still losing I have also been faced with this problem. Everytime I am a new size, I buy a single pair of jeans I love, with enough tops that fit that I don't go crazy doing laundry. Then I buy wrap around skirts that are very adjustable so I can wear them through several sizes. I started a 12 and am now a 6. Not sure if I am going to stabilize at a 6 or 4, so I am still shopping cautiously. I did buy 3 cycling outfits that fit and that I love, and I just wash them out frequently.

[jusdooit]

I guess I'll stop complaining about the cost of my bras! Really,that is VERY expensive. It pained me the first time I broke down and admitted I needed to be professionally fitted. I am very jealous of you ladies who can get away with buying $15-20 bras. An average bra for me costs about $50 a piece. It's impossible to find a 34DDD in anything cheaper. Sometimes I get lucky and catch them on sale. I suggest you keep shopping around until you can get one for a little less. To be quite honest a 34D or 34DD should not be as difficult to find at a high end department store. I do not recommend just making do, a well fitted bra is an absolute necessity.
As for your body image...........keep doing what it takes to get yourself into better shape. Not to be discouraging but a 20 lb weight loss for me resulted in only a change of one cup size, 38 to 34 band, but FFF to DDD in cup.

[mimitabby]

hehehe talk about unanimous.

I have nothing to add here except that i detest shopping for bras too. I was at my wit's end again as the last bras I had foundered and even though I know my size, i couldn't find one I wanted.

Then Queen popped on here sometime and says "I always buy these" so just for the heck of it, i bought two pairs (under 20 bucks) and i like them just fine.
and when they wear out, I'll probably go through it all again.

[northstar]

I find that, for body-image purposes, it's better to have great clothes that fit you NOW than to have clothes that you hope will fit you well in the future.

I second this.

I've done it two ways: clung to clothes that were the size I've wanted to be, and I've also donated them and gone shopping when I've lost weight. The latter has been a happier option for me. The guilt of seeing the stuff in the closet didn't help motivate me.

I think that's a lot to spend on any item of clothing, but then when I think about it, I spend that much on a biking shirt and shorts that I won't be wearing several times a week (depending on how good you are about doing laundry!). So, if it's a fabulous bra, maybe it's not all that much. All depends on perspective, I guess!

[Laterider21958]

Shopping for bras is a pet hate of mine. For about 6 years or more I've been buying the same ones (sometimes in black/cream/pink) however last year they were discontinued!!!!!! I am currently cherishing the good ones I still have. By 'good ones' I mean those that still have elastic that works well. When the elastic gives up the ghost, they are very uncomfortable and very tiring to wear and I can't wait to rip them off at the end of the day.

I must have tried 30 or 40 different brands/styles/sizes since discovering that my old faithfuls cannot be replaced, but to no avail. What do you do with those fleshy wobbly bits under your arms that insist on bulging out? (Other than drastic dieting!) It's amazing how they always look OK on the hanger, but are atrocious when put on. I've also noticed that lots of cups are fortified by foam, which changes the shape of your boobs totally. There's the Madonna look (when you end up with pointed parts and then the voluptuous look (where your boobs are in danger of greeting you every time you bend over). I prefer a natural shape rather than a pushed up top, flattened lower area. You also can't just go by the sizing on the label, you have to try them on.

If ever I find ones that are comfortable and look natural, I'll stock up big time!

[lph]

This is funny - I like my body just fine, and most of the time I'm darn proud of it, actually but I HATE shopping for clothes too. There's something about the combo of shop lighting, full-length mirrors and the gaggles of skinny 14-year-olds swarming right outside your flimsy curtain that will make any sane woman feel fat, pale, spotty and hairy.

And bras er the worst. I'm an A-cup, (actually an AA-cup, but that leaves me with the padded foam Snoopy bras) and have only managed to find one model from Triumph at a reasonable price that doesn't make me look like I'm borrowing my mother's underwear.

I wish I could just wear sports bras - everybody's flatchested then!

My beloved dh knows how much I hate to shop, so when he gets sick of seeing me in the same clothes he'll sometimes go shopping for me, bring home a bunch of clothes (checking the size on himself, he's not much taller (no, not bras)), and return the ones I don't want.... I really don't deserve this man.

[spokewench]

Buy a bra that fits right now! But I wouldn't spend $155 for it. You were fitted so you should know how they are supposed to fit now Go to a reputable store and buy a decent brand of bra that fits you now. You will really appreciate it. I did this a year or so ago and am very happy about it and, yes, even though I am really not overweight, I do wear a larger bra size that I was before and it soooo much more comfortable and flattering under my clothes which in turn makes me feel better. Then as your size goes down as you get fitter - go buy another bra or two - you are definitely worth it!