You've got it. The VMO is the quadriceps muscle nearest to the inside.

Straight leg raises: recline on the floor with your legs extended straight in front of you, supporting your upper body on your elbows. Rotate one leg from the hip so that knee and toe are pointing to about two o'clock. Then lift your leg straight up while maintaining the rotation. Hold for a few seconds, lower and repeat.

I've never used the foam roller. As an alternative, I like to use an elastic band to stretch the IT band. (You can use either the tape type or the round type elastic.) Lie on your back with your leg perpendicular to the floor. Pass the elastic band around the arch of your foot. Hold both ends of the band in the hand opposite the leg being stretched. Keep your hips square and both buttocks flat on the floor, and gently pull on the band to bring the foot toward the opposite shoulder.

I'll let the PTs answer your other questions. I'm just an aerobics, Pilates and strength training instructor with personal experience of issues similar to the ones you're having. Why don't I teach spinning? Because the bikes' crankarms are too long for my knees - which is a perfect excuse because I HATE all cardio machines