Ladies, women, girls....

[Mr. Bloom]

I started saying "hey woman" when I had a roommate from Barbados who always said that. I liked the way it sounded, especially with her island accent.

Hmmm...I spent my early years in Barbados and remember our maid and my nanny referring to SilverMother as "mistress"... - yah' man

Lest you get the wrong idea, labor was cheap in Barbados in the '60's

[Zen]

Hmmm...I spent my early years in Barbados and remember our maid and my nanny referring to SilverMother as "mistress"... - yah' man

She was only allowed to call me that when we were wearing our special outfits

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Queen- I guess that makes me one of th eYoung Ones then!

Zen- too funny!

There was a nurses aid in my mother's nursing home a couple years ago- he was from the caribbean islands somewhere too- he used to call my mother "Mistress" as well. We kept trying to convince him to call her simply by "Mrs.___" but he kept on the same.

[Starfish]

Just in the last few days, I have had a little spate of being called Honey and Hon...both in person and on the phone, by women who were definitely in my age range. ETA: Both in work settings, sometimes theirs, sometimes mine (no one in my office...but folks on the phone).

Maybe because my Mom used to call us Honey in a motherly way (which was great from my MOM), when we were kids, I tend to feel condescended to when I'm called Honey.

I'm kind of just dumbfounded when this happens...like, did I just hear that? It always prompts in my mind the question, How Old Are You, Anyway?

OK, just letting off steam.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Starfish-
I don't know if this is true for others, but I notice that the women who call people Hon or Honey in my town are the ones who seem less highly educated- I only experience the "hon syndrome" from women cashiers in the supermarket, from diner waitresses, receptionists, and from people working in WalMart or the Dairy Queen, etc.
Maybe it's a socio/educational kind of thing? Just my own observations, not trying to stereotype anyone....

[Tuckervill]

But, assuming that the cashier is less highly educated is stereotyping.

I think people who use that term are just more social and people oriented. They're probably more gregarious and outgoing than the average person. The gregarious person probably is drawn to customer service jobs where they deal with people all day.

Karen

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

But, assuming that the cashier is less highly educated is stereotyping.

I think people who use that term are just more social and people oriented. They're probably more gregarious and outgoing than the average person. The gregarious person probably is drawn to customer service jobs where they deal with people all day.

Karen

I do know what you mean. I used to waitress full time, and I also used to work in fast food restaurants full time. But i do think that it is a fact that "in general", people in minimum wage jobs have fewer higher educational degrees than people in higher paying jobs. That's not a stereotype- it's just generally true. There are many exceptions to this of course- and maybe more exceptions these days than there were ten years ago. Making that assumption about a particular person would be stereotyping I think.
I know lots of gregarious and outgoing people of various backgrounds, incomes, and educational levels, but they don't all call me "Hon".

Reading this whole thread has shown me that it is really difficult for everyone, or even just for woman, to agree on what they "should" be called by others. There is so much variety! There is no term that offends nobody. Maybe the closest one is "women", but even there it can be tricky depending on circumstances and context.
"Ma'am" is generally considered respectful....but it makes me feel so OLD!

Once DH and I were out dining in a fancy restaurant with a couple in their 70's who are very near and dear to us. The man proceeded to continually call the waitress (in her late 30's) "Princess". I was secretly mortified and embarrassed, but did I really want to correct a man in his 70's who is about the sweetest gentlest soul on earth? I was greatly relieved when the waitress handled it smoothly and didn't bat an eye. She understood that he was just trying to make her feel "special" (gag, gag) and she made allowances for his age. I remember dealing with that (and way worse) when I was a waitress. Ugh. I usually adjusted my reactions based upon the perceived intent of whatever was said. If the intent was to make someone feel "less", then I would react. Sometimes we just have to pick our battles.