My turn, although I can't top the loose panties...

Some years ago when I lived in Phoenix and was dating a Park Ranger (law enforcement)...
Anyway we had gone to the grocery store in Goodyear where he used to be a sargent in the town's police department, and I'm writing a check to pay for our groceries, and he says: "did you get that bad check thing cleared up?"

Now I'd never written a bad check, and they knew he was a cop...

Fortunately my check cleared on that electronic gizmo stores used.

And I was ready to throttle him!