Denise, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I have had to deal with a lot of loss of life in my relatively short time. One of the things that I have learned is to be thankful for the good times and to be thankful for the grief. The fact that you are grieving is a sign of your love. It is much better to feel the pain of losing a loved one than to have never loved enough to feel it when the loss when it comes.
Take care of yourself.
Living life like there's no tomorrow.
http://gorgebikefitter.com/
2007 Look Dura Ace
2010 Custom Tonic cross with discs, SRAM
2012 Moots YBB 2 x 10 Shimano XTR
2014 Soma B-Side SS