Man, I'm just in trouble all the way around. I read through this post and I use just about all these terms depending on the situation.

I think a lot of it depends on tone, and the situations you encounter.

I say "thanks hun" to the cashier when I check out.
I say "hey what ya guys doing later" when talking to my girl friends.
I say "yes Ma'am" in many situations.
I say "hey you girls ever?" when asking a question.

I guess my language is just all over the place. I say Ya'll too, for a lot of things and don't use gender at all.
Some english teacher would just cringe when talking to me I guess. LOL