Well, I found that by volunteering, the schools in general were more open to any requests we made, whether it be for a specific placement for the next year or a suggestion as to a book or other unit that they were thinking about using. Of course, this was in a small town, not a big city school, so the dynamics might be different. Generally, I think any teacher would appreciate thoughtful volunteering and might be open to anything that you request because they appreciate your effort on their behalf. It's good that you are meeting with the team. Keep an open mind and remember that most teachers are not particularly open to "change." No offense to any other teachers on the board, but this was an issue in many of the places I worked. Not knowing the particular culture of your system, I would say go in with a positive attitude and kill them with kindness. If you are worried about your child's safety, discuss this with the teachers and principal in a calm but realistic manner. Ask what the "plan" is for various situations and if they have a program for social-emotional development that often helps develop a community and stop some of the nasty things that often happen in middle school.
That said, keep looking at alternatives for your son. Are there charter schools? Private schools with scholarships? And please, another personal note, let your son know that you are trying to support him! My older son has a girfriend who was brought up in the city. She was in gifted classes through elementary school, but she failed the entrance exam for Boston Latin School by one point! (it's a public exam-entrance school). Her parents, I guess, really had no idea what this meant for her, or didn't care, so she ended up going to the first year of middle school at a regular Boston Public School. According to her, it was awful, so she got herself into a Quaker school for the rest of middle school and then she got herself a scholarship to a good arts oriented high school (private). From there, she went to a great college, but she is now saddled with debt and really is paying for her parents lack of support, both emotionally and financially. I guess what I'm saying, is that if you can bear some of the burden for private school tuition, it might be worth it in the long run. And yes, I agree that not everyone needs to go to college! But, we have generally dumbed down everything in this country, when we should be raising the bar.
Stuff like this really makes you question everything this country is supposed to stand for.