Okay, I know I saw somewhere on this board that there is some sort of contraption that looks like a medicine spoon you get with your liquid prescriptions that you can use to just pull down the front of your shorts, stick it between your "lips" and it shoots the pee away from you. I tried a search and can't find it, but I'll keep trying!

Of course, that doesn't help with the other end, but that's usually not as much of a problem for most of us, it seems.