Mom on bike

[limewave]

I have been trying and trying to get my mom to ride a bike. She's not very old (60) but she has bad back problems and had knee replacement surgery last year. She's in pain when she walks and uses a cain or trekking poles to help her get around.

Finally last night, spur of the moment, I picked up my mom and we went to LBS's sidewalk sale. My mom hasn't ridden a bike in 30 years. They have some new, inexpensive models out where you sit straight up and your feet touch the ground without having to dismount the saddle. After a bit of a rocky start, my mom was zooming around the neighborhood. She really had fun. And it was great to see her getting around pain-free.

I told my mom we'd get it for her for Christmas if she wants it. But my dad is against it. He thinks its going to ruin her back forever. I, on the other hand, think that if she actually gets 30 to 45 minutes of exercise a day, she'll feel much better and her back will be stronger. I know my mom wants the bike, but if we get it for her, will she ever be able to ride it with my dad constantly breathing down her neck and being unsupportive? I wish I could see my mom as happy as she was riding that bike every single day.

[farrellcollie]

PErhaps your mom could get her doctor to recommend biking or at least say it won't hurt - would that help with your father?

[wiseowl]

What does your dad respond to? Can you flood him with "scientific" information (that is what would work on my dad)? Could you get your mom's doctor/s to give the OK, or even the hearty encouragement? Does he have any friends who ride, or whose wives/husbands ride, who could be enlisted to talk about how great it is?

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

How about getting her a saddle with springs under it in order to pacify your father's worries?
I agree that short rides would benefit your mother's health and back overall. She probably doesn't really "need" a saddle with springs for short rides around the neighborhood, but it might be something that you could use to quiet your dad about in terms of being easy on your mom's back. Tell him it's a special saddle for people with back problems. Like a placebo.

[limewave]

You know, I don't really know if anything would pacify my dad. My dad doesn't want anything to do with anything unless it benefits him. I hate saying that, I love him, but that's what it seems like. Maybe if I committed to riding with my mom once a week that would help encourage my mom to get out more.

[Zen]

I think I know your dad.

Riding a bike wouldn't be anything but good for your mom. Please ride with her (she needs some time away from your dad )

[MomOnBike]

And here I thought this would be a thread all about me.

Seriously, your Mom will have a hard time of it with your Dad informing her at every opportunity that biking is a Bad Thing. Do help her out by announcing that the two of you are going to ride every week - a Girls Ride Out - and that he's on his own during this time. Often a non-negotiable statement is more effictive than a polite request in cases like this. But don't expect miracles (I'm crossing my fingers and hoping I'm full of hot air, here.)

And good for you for getting your Mom out and about.

[pll]

Why wait until Christmas?

As Zen said, I think I know your dad, too.

[bouncybouncy]

If you do commit to a ride once a week...can you keep the bike at your place so it is not a constant reminder to your dad that she has it?

Put your little tyke in a trailer behind you and then it truely will be a "Girls Family Outing!" AND...it will give your mom something to report back to your dad about (what the little one does, says....) go to a park so her stories will be about slides and swings...not bikes!


I hope this all works out for you and your mom...I think you need it as much as she does!

Hope you are happily pedaling with your mom soon!!!

[HillSlugger]

You know, I don't really know if anything would pacify my dad. My dad doesn't want anything to do with anything unless it benefits him. I hate saying that, I love him, but that's what it seems like. Maybe if I committed to riding with my mom once a week that would help encourage my mom to get out more.

I would think that having a happy, healthy wife would benefit him, too. For some people that's not a direct enough benefit. Yeah, sounds like my dad, too.

[RoadRaven]

You know, I don't really know if anything would pacify my dad. My dad doesn't want anything to do with anything unless it benefits him.

K... so if he wants to see the benefits, like MD suggests take the angle of "happy healthy wife"... but take that a step further...

With the benefits of moving and strengthening muscles, she will be healthier, happier, more comfortable...
If she is feeling better;
- she will be sunnier around the house which will make the atmosphere more pleasant for him

- he will not have to listen to her "yelp" from another room if she moves too quickly and hurts herself (my ma-in-law does this often - she has her hip replaced next week) ... no "yelps" due to sudden pain means his fave TV show, or the book he is reading, will not be interrupted

- if she is doing him a favour like fetching a cuppa/beer/whatever for him when is is engrossed in something, she will be quicker and quieter fetching it

- if they garden, she will be able to do more in the garden which will help him meet any of his own deadlines

- does he like to dance? if so, maybe they can do it again, or do it more easily/often because she will feel better (even if its just a waltz around the kitchen table)

Maybe if you can turn her increased mobility and comfort into real benefits for him, he will "let" her go...

I also agree about making a mother/daughter day... but will he still get some of your time too? Maybe he's a tad jealous that you want to spend time with ma, but not with pa?

[Geonz]

Here's a benefit: if she's healthier, she can wait on him more, for longer, as they age. (Yea, MomOn Bike, I thought this was going to be something about you )

[Bad JuJu]

Not to bring down the mood or anything, but jeez, do stuff like biking with your mom while you (and she) still can--you'll be glad you did. 'Nuff said.

[limewave]

Last night my mom called and said she had a proposal for us. She wants to go halfsies on the bike with her. We'd keep the bike at our house and she would come up once a week to ride it. Then, next spring, if she can convince my dad it's okay, she'd like to bring the bike back to her house! Yay! We're going for a second test ride tonight and if that goes well, we'll be bringing home a Giant Suede!

[Trek420]

- if she is doing him a favour like fetching a cuppa/beer/whatever for him when is is engrossed in something, she will be quicker and quieter fetching it

She can even bike to get the beer.

That would save $$$ on gas.

You would think the motivation of "happy healthy longer living wife" would do it for him

I don't know your Dad