Hi Donna,

I can relate! When I started out, the group I went with had some "EZ Rider" rides, which were basically 20 miles of flattish (gentle, gentle rollers that felt hilly to me as a beginner, but really were not!). Well, that group leader moved out of state and when I asked if I would be welcome on the other rides I was told no, that I was too slow and it wouldn't be fair to the sweep person. I was so disappointed, but glad they were honest. I took it as a challenge to improve on my own and rode the trainer a lot. About a month or so later, I heard of a new group forming and contacted them. They said come on out! The "C Group," which is the beginner's group started at 40 miles along that same "flattish" trail, but I made it! The next week we bumped it up to 50 and the next 60! We stayed at 60 for a couple weeks and then topped out at about 75. I'm always at the back, and part of that is a choice for me as I don't feel comfortable riding too close to other cyclists. Even when I tell them all to go ahead and don't wait up, someone always hangs back a bit to make sure I'm okay. Part of me feels "guilty" about that, as if I might be ruining his/her ride, but then I just have to tell myself that I've given the person an out and if he/she still wants to hang back, well okay!

We're now starting to cut back on the mileage and add in hill climbing. I find that everything evens out in the end - I am stronger at the climbing than some of the heavier-set guys, but they FLY past me on the downhills as I am clutching the brakes!

Anyway, all that to say, I think this may be a combination of things for you:

1. Confidence in your ability - sometimes you just have to take the plunge and find out - you may surprise yourself!

2. Ability to take feedback and believe it (oh, this is a tough one!) - if you say, I really don't want to hold you back, go on ahead, but the person hangs back anyway, well that is his/her choice! No reason to feel badly about it.

3. Maybe look into some skills and drills clinics to help you feel more confident in your group bike handling skills.

4. Challenge yourself to keep increasing fitness on your own.

5. Shop around for other cycling groups and maybe you'll find one that is more your speed.

Anyway, not sure if any of this helps or not. I am super-sensitive myself, so I do understand. I have to say that just getting out there and doing it has increased my confidence level though (even in the non-cycling-related areas of my life), even though I am still quite the beginner.

Good luck to you, and keep us posted!