Cycling and your relationship.

[lyca]

Wow, I really love this thread! It's so great to read so many wonderful stories!

Here's mine:

My BF bought a road bike last year after we had been dating for a few months. He fell in love with it right away and I would hear his stories about 20 and 30 miles rides, how he liked his shoes and pedals, and how he loved being out on his bike. He would often try to figure out how he could get a ride in and see me on the same day while continuing to practice (we're both musicians) and get other stuff done.

Fast forward to this May. I decided after doing a bunch of research, independently of him, that I wanted to buy a road bike. He was (and still is) very supportive of me and taught me how to shift, how to ride clipless, how to climb more efficiently, etc. It has hands down been the most positive thing in our relationship because we spend so much more time together now planning rides and talking about bike stuff. I have no idea what the future holds for us, but I know he'll always be the one that got me into cycling!

[BikeMomma]

BikeMomma/Kim - good luck. Man, it just always takes work regardless. I think my story's similar in some ways - maybe I'm the future of your story?

Let's hope the future is bright, eh? I shudder to think of the alternative, and it was headed that way.

It sounds silly. But I think there was a lot of bad self esteem stuff going on that he is finally getting the better of.

Bingo. I think that is/was the root of it all. All my encouragement, tears, begging, silent treatment, "please be alive to see your kids graduate college" speeches, nagging, and every other "cheerleader" technique I tried failed miserably, with empty promises and crushing disappointment. I'd get my hopes up, then got let down again and again. It was emotionally exhausting for me. Finally, years down the road, I realized that it would take HIM to be his own cheerleader to get him motivated. The last year has been very rough for us, talk of divorce, etc. I think damn near hitting rock bottom in our marriage has been the wake up call he needed. So far so good.

I'm proud of you guys, MP -- it's these types of success stories that I would tell him about, if nothing else to let him know that what he needed to do IS possible. Sortof like, "if they can do it, so can we."

~K

[KSH]

So. Here is a question for all of you:

How has your newfound passion for riding affected your relationship with your significant other, if at all?

Well, about 6 months after my boyfriend and I started dating in 2004, I got into triathlons. Well, I started to train. Didn't compete until 2005.

So, I had a bike and went riding a lot. I finally convinced him to rent a bike and just see how he liked it... since he wanted to stay fit but was hating the gym.

He got hooked. He loved it, and finally realized he wanted to buy a bike. So he bought a Trek 1200... and demolished it 30 days later. Yes, DEMOLISHED it. He knew he didn't want to give up cycling, so he bought a Specialized Allez and hasn't wrecked that one.

How did it affect our relationship?

Well, honestly, we had some "growing pains" when he took up cycling.

Specifically, he was very competitive with me and got VERY PISSY when we rode together because I was faster and could drop him like a rock, which I tried very hard not to do. There were times when we rode together that he was very immature and almost pouting like a little kid. So,we had some conversations about his behavior and he worked hard to fix it.

It helped that he got faster than me... but lately due to him hardly ever riding, his average has gone down. He has done good to keep a good attitude about it... but sometimes he slips. Mind you, we hardly ever ride together and honestly I rather like it that way.

Yea, pretty much I get up on the weekends to ride and he stays in bed. I'm OK with that though. Since he doesn't like riding in the heat or distance... if he did go ride with me, he would be in a horrible mood the whole time with me trying to not let him affect me and trying to keep him positive.

I guess that pretty much covers it! So, he does ride, but we don't ride together and it's probably for the best.