Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Silver View Post
...I looked them in the eye and told them - with the attorney present - what their living will said:
  • we would not take heroic means to sustain life
  • we would withhold fluids, etc (which is essentially starvation...that was a tough one to discuss...)
  • we would do everything to preserve comfort and dignity


So, this begs the question: Is basic CPR, absent any terminal illness, heroic?? In my view, no, it's not heroic...and herein lies my struggle based on what I've already discussed and conveyed to my parents.

In addition, if my dad collapses and his heart has stopped, my mother would be standing there (they're ALWAYS together...so she WILL BE THERE when he dies) expecting someone to do something...and will likely be pleading for them to do so. Psychologically, what impact does that have on her, in the moment, to have no one respond to her pleas for help. This, TO ME, is a gut wretching scenario that is totally unlike him dying in his sleep.
My own opinion is that CPR is not "heroic" measures to sustain life. I feel that attempts to restart the heart are logical and do sometimes work. Giving oxygen with a mask can be helpful too. It's when they want to intebate you (did i spell it right?) -stick a tube down into your lungs and have a breathing machine breath completely for you- that I feel is where it crosses into "heroic"- and that's when it becomes "life support" (whether temporary or permanent)....not when they use paddles to start or correct irregular or stopped heart rhythm or CPR. If one's heart truly wants to stop beating, no paddle in the world is going to be able to jump start it again. So for me the heroic part begins when the want to put you on a breathing machine with a tube down your throat to breathe for you. (and my mother WANTED heroic, so that's what she got). Once they have you on a breathing machine, they can give you drugs to help keep your heart beating as well.
Personally, I believe in continuing water drips while someone is dying as a matter of comfort- only because I have heard that severe dehydration can be extremely uncomfortable.
It's such a tough call when someone is not actually actively dying from an illness- when they are just fading away and getting sleepier all the time. There comes a time when they no longer eat enough and that's yet another hard decision to make.