gee, don't wait. We tried to have this conversation with Raleighdon's mother a number of times. she always responds that she has lots of time to do that later. Now her alzheimers is so bad she doesn't know what house she's in. It's too late to get her to do anything.
She absolutely refuses. But when we had the conversations, neither RD or his brother were able to even bring it up. I had to (they were cool with that)
so it's sort of like good cop bad cop, if you possess the wherewithal to discuss this with your father in law, go ahead and do it (with Mr's blessing of course)