Hugs to you all!

Mr. Silver - This is a very difficult issue, but it is *much* better dealt with now than when something happens. When my Grandfather passed away, he did not have the appropriate paperwork for EMS to not attempt to use defib. The county where they lived had recently changed the requirements, and his forms weren't enough. He had been in a decline for weeks, and we all knew it was coming, but they still had to attempt to revive him (even though it was obviously way too late). This is not a way to die with dignity. Please, please talk to him before you mother has to go through what my Grandmother did. Remember that all you're doing is giving him the choice about his life and the quality of life he chooses.

I've been blessed that my elderly relatives have all initiated the conversations themselves, and let us know what they wished (and had the appropriate forms in place) with the exception of my Grandfather. I don't have advice to give on how to start the conversation, except to say that you want to know what he wants so he has the choice.

Good luck - my thoughts are with you!