Cycling and your relationship.

[BikeMomma]

My totally unfounded theory is when you have that in your DNA so to speak it makes processes like Bikeomoma's DH journey back to fitness easier and maybe even dealing with injuries, illness. He's felt this before, likes feeling fit and working out. Hopefully it'll be like old home week "oh, yeah, I like that".

Sure it'll take a while but he knows the route.

That's what I'm hoping...and I hesitantly raise crossed fingers and say it might be true. Thanks, Trek.

BikeMomma, I just wanted to say that I thought your post was very well-written and I wish you and your husband the best of luck with his journey back to health... has he expressed any interest in cycling?

Thanks Kimmy, for the compliment...great name, btw.

We got him a mtb a couple years ago and I put slicks on it so that he could ride it on the streets. He's been on it maybe all of ten times. But, he has said lately that he may start using it in conjunction with the Bowflex as cardio (yay!). Actually, I think he's waiting on me! I have to change out the tube on the back tire (valve broke off). Guess I'm his wrench in addition to his wench!

~BikeMomma

[Zen]

I didn't have an SO when I started riding for real last year, and I still don't. But I've learned that cycling is a great way to meet guys! At our first metric, my friend and I looked around and said, "WOW! We've been doing the wrong events!" LOL

Sure, you meet guys. And their wives

[KnottedYet]

And their wives

[tjf9]

I am hoping biking will have a positive effect on our relationship. I have lost about 65 pounds in the last 8 months and have become way more active - running, biking and lifting. I think he's felt a bit left behind in the process, because he needs to lose some weight too, but it just hasn't happened for him.

We just bought him a new bike this past weekend and we're going to start biking together on the weekends. He'll be on his new fast bike, and I'll be on my old bike pulling the bike trailer with our 2 kids. He thinks he'll be slower than me, but I doubt it.

Although our relationship hasn't been strained, we aren't as close as we were before kids. I hope having some family time like this will help a bit...

[RoadRaven]

Well... its augmented ours...

We both enjoy it, and I've done it more and more as he and the boys got into it.

We don't ride much together because of our different levels and my work hours... but I relish the times we can... and its great talking cycling with him too.

[newbiechick]

I started cycling when I met my now-husband three years ago. He's an avid cyclist and I thought it might be something fun to do together. He said from the get-go that he did not expect me to ride and that if I didn't like it I should let it go. Fortunately, I really enjoyed it from the start.

I'm very fortunate in that my husband loves to ride with me, even tho' his abilities are FAR above mine. He says he's just happy to be on the bike. He's been a wonderful teacher and a great inspiration. He and I ride together once or twice a week, and I send him off to ride on his own once or twice a week--so he still gets in his hard, fast, challening rides.

We're doing a 4-day bike tour in the San Juan Islands (WA) in a week and a half. He's done several of these organized tours including some pretty tough ones; but he's happy to do this "easy" tour and enjoy it with me.

[anaphase]

Well, I'm a little jealous of those of you with cycling-positive partners. My partner thinks bikes are a public nuisance most days (commuting in Boston tends to show you the bad side of riding/riders). He is, however, very into fitness, so we run together several times per week, and it's fun to bond over that. I really wish I could get him into cycling though.

He might like mountain biking, and I've sort of been pestering one of his friends, who is really into it, to take him out on the trails one weekend. I figure that if he gets the bug in that way, then one day he might join me on the roads. Or maybe not, but I can hope!

[Skierchickie]

So, I met my DH in college, at a cycling club meeting. That was, oh, about 20 years ago. Our cycling lives have ebbed & flowed over the years, but when not cycling, we have running (which was really not my thing back then, but he got me into it), x-c skiing (my thing since I was 9, so I got HIM into that), etc. So even though he is 14 years older than I am, we have lots to share. I do sometimes beat him in races these days, but not biking!

One item of dispute all these years has been our first "date". I say "date", because I say it wasn't, but he says it was. He'd say "it's a date", and I'd say "no, it isn't". Anyway, we went biking together, and for some reason he thought he'd try to kill me. First, a ride out to find a big hill. Then, since the pavement ran out and we needed more distance, it was up to the airport (a HUUUUGE hill). Then, back to town. But no, we were hungry, and Pizza Hut is his favorite restaurant. Up a very long, very big hill! Then, after gorging on pizza, I realized there was an enormous uphill between me and my apartment! Ugh - I can't believe I didn't hurl! I was being tough, of course, not wanting to appear to be wimpy, plus I had never ridden any of these hills, and had only seen 2 of them before.

Early in our marriage, we made a pact that neither of us would ever do anything to prevent the other from racing/training/keeping in shape. So sometimes I'm lazy, and sometimes he's lazy, but we don't pull the "why don't you stay here in front of the tv with me, because my priorities are different from yours right now, and if you go it will make me feel like a slug for not going too" thing. I can't honestly say I haven't ever wanted to, or that I'm always the most supportive person in the world, but I try to refrain. And we don't always train together, but I guess we're pretty lucky to have similar interests and priorities, so we don't have the constant battle of "he loves that &%$# bike more than he loves me", like some people do. Hmmm - he is awfully crazy about that Trek Team Time Trial bike of his.....

[TrekJeni]

Most of you know my story already so here's the short version.

I was in a seven year relationship. Not married but had the house, camper, 50acres of dog training grounds (we owned bird hunting dogs), etc.

I always busied myself with something as the BF has a job that required 60+ hours a week. Along with myself working, I was a gym rat, then finshed my degree, and after graduation, went back to the gym.

His entertainment was the bar. Rough day at work equaled drinking and smoking on the back patio. I can't tell you how many fights we had about "counting his beers"....

Bought my first road bike as a way to get out of the gym along with a girlfriend of mine. BF and I started fighting about the time invested in riding and that I was gone all the time. (he was at the bar - what did it matter) He even told me that he was going out with the boys one Saturday and that I needed to stay home so I could see how it felt to be home all alone? Huh?

Started doing club rides and shop rides. Broke up with BF, leaving him with most everything. Another equally wonderful fight we'd get into. He made 3 times what I did so he always told me how I didn't "contribute" to the relationship and household. I now live in a studio apartment.

BUT I'M HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Turns out, the manager of the LBS and I started riding a lot and we developed a mutual affection for each other. Fast forward to almost a year after the breakup and the NEW BF and I race road and mountain bikes for the same team along with leading a newbie ride for the club on Mondays.

He's a much stronger rider and we hardly ever ride "alone" as we're always with our friends but that's okay....

Hah! Didn't turn out to be so short, did it?

Jeni

[KnottedYet]

Your story always makes me smile. You did good!

[Starfish]

Most of you know my story already so here's the short version.

Ah! I had not heard it. Thanks for telling it again!

[maillotpois]

Wow. Great stories.

TrekJeni - big smile!

Knot/Trek - another big smile!

BikeMomma/Kim - good luck. Man, it just always takes work regardless. I think my story's similar in some ways - maybe I'm the future of your story?

We were both pretty out of shape after kid. We both work full time, etc.. Then I started running again, and spinning and MTB-ing. And when we both started road riding together, training for our first century in 2001, he couldn't keep up.

Fast forward a couple years and a couple too many humiliations (none malicious) at being dropped and he just up and changed his life and dropped (in about a year) from 230 to about 190. Whereas I happily remained about the same. But he leaves me behind these days unless I really gut it out - but there's just no staying with him on hills anymore. Math (power to weight) is against me. The competitive part of me is bugged by it, but really I am proud of him. And he's a heck of a lot nicer since he lost the weight and got in shape. Really. We're all a lot happier than we used to be. It sounds silly. But I think there was a lot of bad self esteem stuff going on that he is finally getting the better of.

And cycling is definitely part of our lives together. We both coach and do long rides (though he thinks doubles are "stupid"), and we have done bike tours together. When we go on trips, we figure out how we can get some rides in, even alternating so one of us is with Em. And he's trying to get me back into mountain biking.

In November we'll try a race together that we've each had great results in separately in the past. I wonder how long I can hang with him.

[Zen]

I would rather have no man than an inactive man. Preferably a cyclist, definitely not a golfer or hunter. Those are not sports.

[Kristi]

I'm just getting into riding a road bike.
My boyfriend is into downhill mountain biking. It's everything to him. He gets up in the morning and goes to work, so he can ride later. He races and rides all the time.
I'm not into this riding and know I will never be. I bought a mountain bike hoping we could bond and have something in common. But I'm more into XC mountain biking, he'll do it but just as a favor to me. It's not his love.
I recently put road bike tires on my mountain bike, and have been getting much more use out of it (alone).
I finally decided to buy myself a real road bike (the Cannondale Optimo Feminine 2 - it should be here this week). I'm basically taking my riding into my own hands. I hope to meet people in the area (don't know a lot of people here yet) and ride for me, not for him.
He's very supportive and thinks it's great that I'm getting into it. He's actually considering buying a road bike to help him get into shape for his races. I think it's actually helping that I've decided to go it on my own.
I can't wait to get going. And I think he feel my attitude and energy. It's great!! And he's so supportive. I think if (when) I start racing he'll be super supportive and cheering me on.

[crazycanuck]

This is the Kiwi & Canuck story. I'll try and keep this short..

Ian & I didn't own a bike prior to 2003 and spent most of our rec time at the gym or (me) walking to work. I went to Canada in 04 to visit family, didn't have a job when i returned(was an ESL teacher but the NZ market went droopy ) and for some reason badgered Ian into buying me a bike. (Crap bike I might add..) He wanted one & that started our MTN biking, road riding life.

Cheap bikes were stolen, bought new mtn bikes ('which were a bit big but didn't know much back then) and this is where we found how much better it is to be a mtn biker rather than roadie in Auckland. We both looked forward to visiting Ian's parents as we could mtn bike We began to see how much weight was flying away with the biking we were doing. He's always been faster than me but I didn't care & just rode..

Ian's very supportive of my biking and whenever I whinge about how unfit i feel, he just shows me the pics of how we looked before we bought bikes..That works for me.. He wonders how I can whinge when i do 200km+ on my bike/week, plus swim 2x's/week plus pilates etc..

Since we've been in Perth we've found a good gang of MTN biking friends. (I'm the tortoise of the group & normally head my own direction when the others go zooooommm.. ) I'm getting faster on my road bike, a bit better on my mtn bike and fitter in general. Ian now has a nice muscular behind for me to pinch.. When we road bike home together he enjoys pinching mine...

Neither of us complain about the $$$$$ we've spent on our bikes, gear etc as we're just having a ton of fun.

C