OY! Mothers!! (Yes this IS cycling related)...

[colby]

I got lucky, I guess -- my dad (in his 50s) had some experience riding decent road bikes long long ago in a land far far away (BC - Before Colby, I'm the oldest of 4). We bought new road bikes, nearly identical (mine is WSD), just over a year ago. While he works outside and skis in the winter, he doesn't get a lot of regular aerobic exercise. We both went for it from day one and got clipless pedals (his are SPDs with wide platforms he could still ride on). Riding the road bike is sometimes a challenge for him and he's not a huge fan of bike wear, but I'm proud that he's willing to go all in and I like having an occasional riding partner.

A friend of mine recently bypassed this issue by buying a bike for her mom as a gift. They picked it out together, but she had recently gone through this process herself (and with her husband), so she kind of knew what she was looking for to start out with. Her mom has started riding regularly, and really likes it.

My husband's mom (50s) has an "average" bike herself, and 2 years ago when the folks from her practice (she's a GI nurse) decided to do a sprint tri, she decided to, too. She was a runner in another lifetime (even while Mr. Colby and his brother were kids), but since then the sprint tri was the thing that really re-energized her into exercising. Now she checks out bike trails and kicks my husband's dad's butt on the bike.

A guy I work with was recently diagnosed with diabetes (was pretty overweight). He started walking to reduce his blood sugar (that plus radical diet changes worked, he was able to go off his meds), but his body started adapting, and he's too heavy to run/jog. He got a bike and he loves it. It's really opened up a lot more options for exercise, and he can tour around without feeling like he's walking in circles. He did ask for advice before he bought his bike (and he listened to it), but the end result was the same -- another new rider, AND, he's lost a ton of weight.

2 years ago, I was pretty sedentary. I have a job that has me sitting on my butt, and I had been for about 5 years since college -- basically as much of a change as going from a non-sedentary lifestyle to a sedentary one. My husband and I started riding to work on cheapie mountain bikes (yes, we fell into that trap, but it's only 6 miles), and it was really a great entry-level exercise for us. The first few times were difficult, but it was nice to feel like you were doing something good. We slacked off, gained more weight, I took up running (maybe not so good a first choice), we started riding to work again, fast forward 2 or so years and I've ran, rode, and swam more miles than I'd care to count, and I've lost upwards of 80+lbs. It is possible to enjoy a mediocre bike, but I consider it a gateway drug.

For my husband, the bike has a low cost of entry. He can get on it, go as far as he wants, and turn around and come home. I love to ride with him, but I'm not so sure he loves to ride with me. I've got him on a 2-3 days a week riding to work (12 mile) plan, and he's willing to consider more. He has a flat-bar road bike (road components and fast tires, just flat-bar). Once or twice he's jogged with me, but it has a very high cost of entry (and that whole "you've ran a marathon" thing works against me).

Good luck, RM. If anyone can teach her to love it, it's you.

[Mr. Bloom]

RM,

Not exactly the story you were hoping for, but relevant nonetheless:

Years ago, we were out riding with the kids and SilverDad (at about age 70) said "I want to ride your bike". I was scared, because he's not very coordinated, but he was determined.

He got on the bike and rode half a block - wobbling and shaking the entire way. I was freaking out.

Needless to say, I didn't encourage him any after that.

Unfortunately, today, he's 80 and often doesn't have the ability to even get downstairs to dinner because his legs are so weak from his sedentary living...and that's using a walker!

We had them in exercise classes at one point, but they didn't stick with them.

I'm glad to see what your parents are doing...and remember, your kids favorite toy is a cardboard box (not the expensive item that came in it) and I bet your parents will love their bikes.

[Pyannyplayer]

Okay, after reading this thread earlier (and coming back to read more!), I decided that I needed to post my "biking story" to maybe put another slant on the subject.

Three years ago, at age 44, I had a health scare which pretty much meant that I had to lose weight and move; I was over 260 pounds, sedentary, and was pretty much told that I would be dead in 5 years or less at the rate I was going. I was one of those people that HATED to sweat and was so much happier to sit and, well, EAT.

As a result, I lost some weight but just couldn't get that "exercise" thing. My dear husband, however, has always been active and is a dedicated bike commuter. His sister, also a cyclist, visits often and he decided to buy a used bike for her to use when she's here. It needed to be easy for her to get on (due to arthritis) and to have wider tires for our gravel roads. Of course, "I" had to test ride it. $75 poorer, we had a HUGE, HEAVY Schwinn lady's bike. I rode a few times with him and really enjoyed biking and spending that time with him(he has the patience of a SAINT and would wait for me.....no matter how many times I had to stop!!). 3 months later I bought a new Trek hybrid (my first brand new bike EVER).

Fast forward to now. I have a Trek 1000 road bike, do triathlons, bike a MINIMUM of 100 miles a week, went from my first "exciting high" average speed of 9 miles an hour to 18 miles an hour, and I've lost the equivalant of a person. My closet has been overtaken by workout clothes and bike jerseys. I may be teaching my courses in them this year!

My husband, knowing my personality, NEVER pushed, NEVER gave advice, and just came along to make sure I was safe and to give encouragement. I will forever be thankful he did that, because I wouldn't be here, with my "sexy biker babe tan" (which he LOVES), without him.

I realize that every person is different, but.....that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Good luck with your Mom and Dad. Be as encouraging and loving as you can. That is really the only thing you can do.

Lorie

[MM_QFC!]

Not to mention those who've lost their parents and don't have Moms around at all.

Three cheers for our Moms, riding or not we appreciate them.

After all where would we be without them?

Yes, sadly I'm now in that group as I lost my awesome Mom last December. She was not a bike rider herself, but was my biggest cheerleader and supporter and modeled a consistently positive, can-do attitude. She took up tennis in her 40's, while going through a difficult divorce, returning to work and becoming a single parent to 5 kids, hellions all! It was a therapeutic activity for her too, I'm sure, and she became a terrific tournament player and our tennis club women's singles champion for 3 years running. We partnered together in the women's doubles and how she put up with my teenage struggles and immaturity on the court, I'll never know, but we both thoroughly enjoyed that being one of the many activities we had together.

It sounds like your Mother knows how she wants to ride and how she'll enjoy it the most and maybe your support and encouragement is all she really needs? Could be that all of our roadie advice based on our own experience and knowledge really isn't necessary in some situations; just a smile at enjoying a mutual love of riding?

Best wishes for you to enjoy the time you'll have just riding along together - it's a really precious opportunity - happy trails!

[Running Mommy]

THAT is the story I needed! I actually cried because in a lot of ways, you and I are the same! I used to hate to sweat too! And I was always chunky, but when I met my husband I guess I figured I had a license to eat or something?? I gained about 80 lbs which is WAY too much on my 5'1" frame! It was hearing my husbands great aunt say out loud at a wedding "BOY! She sure has gotten FAT" that threw me over the edge! We actually had to leave the wedding. I was so upset. But it also spurred me to get my act together.
I started with step aerobics. That was the "thing" that got me going. I loved it so much that I eventually got certified to teach. And then my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. I started run/walking on the treadmill to ease the stress of facing losing her. And then I decided that I was going to run a 10k in her honor, and then I became the 10k queen. The next thing you know it's 1999 and I get a wild hair that I want to run the NYC marathon. So I run a few of those, then I decide to get into triathlon, so I teach myself to swim laps. A ton of short distances later a co workers brother is doing Ironman Florida, and I decide that I want to do that too.. Next thing you know I'm crossing the finishline at IMAZ in 2006.
So yeah, those small things can lead to much bigger things. But if you had asked me in the early 90's when I was watching the Mark Allen/Dave Scott duels in Kona on the wild world of sports if I would ever fathom doing something like that, I would have fallen over in laughter.
Ya just never know!

[Running Mommy]

First of all, she is happy as a clam! And I couldn't be happier for her! She was giddy when she was talkng about her and my dad riding over the weekend.

And yes, I told her all about how you ladies set me straight. She got quite a chuckle out of that.

One thing she is having touble with is a very sore tailbone. She said the hoo ha's were fine. It was the tail bone. She has some past niggles here and there that give her a bit of a bother every once in awhile. But to her credit she said that she was going to take it down to the "real" (her words not mine) bike shop and see if she could "give the guy a few bucks to get me fitted on it".. I told her I thought that was a grand idea. I also suggested she may need to swap out the seat. She asked me about good seats. I told her that most all of us have had to "Kiss a lot of toads" before we found the "prince"...
I'm going to take her a few of my "toads" and see if she finds a "prince" in the lot..

But we talked about saddle soreness, and I told her what to expect as a new rider. I want her to know that it will get better.

But the thing that really made my heart skip a beat was when she said she loves the feeling of the breeze in her face when she rides. I was BUSTING I was so happy for her!
I was lamenting what Donna said about how after riding a heavy bike she is going to fly if she ever gets on a light bike. She laughed and talked excitedly about all the "serious" riders and clubs that she see's riding in the area. You never know, maybe she has that seed back there somewhere just looking for some fertile soil?? I'm not going to push her- not that it would matter if I did. But I will secretly pray that she takes up cycling and gets back into shape. I know her and she will be MUCH happier if she does.

She also told me a story that I didn't know. Apparently when I was off working in New York way back when, someone had given her a bike and she rode it back and forth to work. She mentioned how it was nice in the morning to cruise down this one hill, but coming home in the afternoon going up it was another thing! Ok, first of all that hill is a KILLER to walk, much less ride a bike! I was amazed she even tried it! But she said she used to love riding to work because she felt much better. Go figure??!! I guess I'm not giving her the credit she has due! Sheesh!
So anyway, I found the bike she has online.

http://www99.shopping.com/xPC-Schwin...-Mountain-Bike

She loves the color, and I have to agree. I like the color. It's not so bad afterall I guess. But if she loves this bike..... (wheels turning on potential christmas/birthday presents years down the road)...

OK off to bed.
Ciao bellas!
Denise

[singletrackmind]

Yes, the color is nice and she certainly could have done much worse overall. Not too bad. Glad to see you're counting the blessings most positively.




Great inspirational stories ladies, thank you,
and thank you mom, gone only physically, forever here in my heart.

[Pyannyplayer]

Denise:

I know what you mean! My husband will give me this "look" every now and then; he then says something to the effect of "Who'd a thunk that YOU would be so active and having so much fun? I just LOVE my favorite bikin' buddy!" We've met some awesome people (cyclists and triathletes) and my favorite store has gone from "Rocky Mountain Chocolate" to "REI" and my "LBS"! Anniversaries are biking days (we bought each other our road bikes last year), birthdays and Christmas are biking "gift" times........my office is decorated with bike and tri stuff.......it has been an amazing transformation for me and I know it has been for you as well.

From the sound of your last post, it sounds as though your Mom may be on the track you wanted anyway. She may just have to "do it on her own", if you know what I mean and she will most likely keep asking for your advice and help. Who knows? The sky's the limit!

I'm glad she's enjoying the bike. RIDE ON!

Lorie

[Torrilin]

It sounds like your mom may enjoy utility biking since she liked commuting . Keep your ears open... she may be providing you with the perfect source of present ideas for years to come. There are all sorts of handy gadgets for a utility bike, and they can be hard to find if your LBS is more interested in racing customers.

It's great that she's having fun. IME that's the best way to make sure one sticks with a life change.

[pooks]

Great news! I'm so happy for your mom -- and I think she's on her way to true bike-love.

[DDH]

Oh, I'm so happy that she is having fun on it. Take a picture of her on her new bike and post it for us to see.
How bout your dad? Is he riding and enjoying it too?

[Kano]

One thing she is having touble with is a very sore tailbone. She said the hoo ha's were fine. It was the tail bone. She asked me about good seats. I told her that most all of us have had to "Kiss a lot of toads" before we found the "prince"... Denise

Denise, you're probably coming from a "roadie" point of view, so I thought I'd mention that "comfort" on her bike's saddle is coming from a whole different angle! The big, plushy "comfort" saddles they put on the upright bikes, -- in my experience, HECK on the tailbone! On my comfort-beast, I found that I was far more comfortable on a Specialized Dolce saddle -- which may help you with your choice of "toads" to bring along for her to test ride! (Then there's DH: it took him a year of riding on that same saddle to realize he was uncomfortable as all get out, and even then, he didn't give it up until I pointed out to him that somehow, over time, he'd managed to get one rail all bent out of shape, so not only was he uncomfy, but sitting way crooked! He could hardly wait to go to the bike shop then!)

Karen in Boise

[Trek420]

http://www99.shopping.com/xPC-Schwin...-Mountain-Bike

She loves the color, and I have to agree. I like the color. It's not so bad afterall I guess. But if she loves this bike..... (wheels turning on potential christmas/birthday presents years down the road)...

OK off to bed.
Ciao bellas!
Denise

Sounds like Mom's a tough, strong gal

Subliminal gift hint, only a little more, has a triple, similar color, nice bike Knott did her first tri on this, just a subliminal hint

http://www.konaworld.com/bikes/2k7/DEW/index.html

[Kris]

I'm a little late to the discussion, but thought I'd add my two bits anyway.

Your conversation with your mom sounds like me and my son. Family dynamics can be tricky. He thinks he knows what airplane we should fly on when we go on vacation, where we ought to live, and what kind of dog we should have. Anyway, it sounds like things are working out ok with her bike, and I'm glad.

So here's my story. I had an old bike in the garage when we moved here eight years ago. I was 50. I hadn't ridden it for years because previously we lived in the city and it was too darned scary to ride in traffic. I was fat and out of shape. I rode the old bike, but I couldn't get it up the hill that we live on. I live in Central Illinois. It wasn't much of a hill. This was discouraging, and I didn't do it very often.

My son left his mountain bike here for storage, so I gave that a try. I could ride it up the hill! DS is short; the fit wasn't awful. I began to see that it could be fun. Maybe. Then DS took his bike back.

I rode DH's bike occasionally, a Giant hybrid, bought at the LBS, which he used for commuting. It could make it up the hill too. But he's taller, I couldn't reach the ground, and it had those darned cages over the pedals that scared me because I imagined myself getting stuck and toppling over. DH does most of his riding in the basement on a stationary bike while he plays video games. Not my choice, but he's fit, and his doctor is happy.

2+ years ago DH bought me a bike at the other LBS. It's a Specialized hybrid with a woman's frame, and it fits me. I started to ride a bit more. But I didn't have anyone to ride with, and at that stage, I felt a little lonely. I didn't make it a habit, but I did enjoy an occasional ride, and once in a while I rode to work.

We got a cheapo Schwinn tandem, also at the LBS. This might not be the best bike. Far from it. I think it's comparable to your mom's in quality probably. But we could ride together. He couldn't "drop" me. There was a bit of a learning curve, but we started having fun with that too.

Then we got a dog in a moment of madness at the Humane Society, an Australian Cattle Dog, a dog that needs a lot of exercise. More than my old knees could manage. I bought a device that connects the dog to the bike, and we started regular rides together. Bob (the dog) wasn't going to let me forget or make excuses, and pretty soon I actually wanted to ride, even on cold winter mornings. It wasn't just something I had to do because it was good for me. Before long we were up to 5-6 miles per ride, 4-5 times a week. Sometimes I ride alone now, without Bob, so I can go faster and farther, and because I just like it.

Last month DH and I went on a bike and barge trip in Belgium and Holland. I kept up with the group, bicycling about 30 miles per day on a big old heavy Dutch bike, and I felt great, even had energy to spare for being a tourist at the end of the day. My knees feel much better. I have a lot more muscles. And my resting heart rate has dropped considerably. I'm still too heavy, but I think I'm ready to work on that. I can't go much faster until I do.

Now we're planning to try some of the local rides, maybe on the tandem, maybe separately. I know 30 miles on the flat is easy enough, so maybe 60-some would make a good new goal. Maybe we'll upgrade the tandem, when we decide to take it beyond the bike trail. I've been commuting to work a little bit, and DH came home yesterday with a "Euro-style" bike. He went to exchange a pair of gloves that fell apart on the trip, and saw a used Trek bike with fenders, a full chain cover and lights. He's planning to extend his bike commuting into the winter, and to ride in the rain. It weighs a ton, but he thinks he'll stay drier, and his pants won't get greasy.

I second all the advice about being positive. It sounds like you already have managed to make that shift, and you've patched things up with your mom, and she with you. It's irritating when people won't do what you know would be best for them, but everyone's got to make their own decisions, and the rest of us sometimes just have to live with it and make the best of it.

I hope you enjoy some nice rides with her, that's a blessing.

Kris