Wow. I missed the start of this but I have been in a similar situation.

Background: Husband and I are fairly equally matched on the bike. He's a better climber. I go faster on flats. We ride together often. I also go for a regular group ride without him.

Even more background: I am very independent and do lots of stuff without him. He's never once voiced any kind of concern about this. He's not a typical male in so many ways.

Here's the story: There was a regular group "Hill Ride" on Wednesdays with a bunch of "A" level riders. I am not at that level, but it was a regroup ride and they never seemed to mind waiting for me - I was always the last person to the top. They kept inviting me back. Even my husband had gone to this ride, but not recently.

Despite their encouragement, I felt guilty about making them wait for me and wanted to get faster. So I was talking to another one of the slower hill climbers, and we decided to do hills on a different day to improve our abilities. I invited my husband. He declined. (He has taken a dislike to driving to rides - and to get to hills we need to drive). A few weeks of training with my new "hill buddy" went by - my husband was invited to the ride every week but always turned it down.

One day, I got a double flat. I got home and told my husband the story of Mark (hill buddy) and I trying to change the tires - it's actually a funny story but that's for another post. Husband said "so who's this Mark guy?" I told him I know him from other group rides, we're the slower ones on the Wednesday ride, etc. Husband said "I think it's inappropriate that you're riding with him".

Okay, red flags. I explained that he has been invited to every ride and I don't think there's anything wrong with the situation. He pressed the issue. I was taken aback at first because he's never expressed any kind of concern like this before. But I finally decided to drop Mark as a hill buddy - as much as I enjoyed the rides and wished my husband was there too, I figured it was a small price to pay to keep my husband happy. I'm still confused by his reaction, because it's out of character for him.