I am part of a club and have thoroughly enjoyed the rides and being "pushed" by the faster riders. It has helped me improve. I joined because I'm a single gal who got tired of riding by myself. There are ladies in the club, however the majority of them only do very casual rides (maybe 2-3 women race). I can't do the racers' training rides because they smoke me almost instantly, but I can do the intermediate rides. We're a smaller club, so a huge ride for the intermediates is about 5-6 people.

Without going into unnecessary details, a wife of one of the riders mentioned to someone that she was uncomfortable with the idea of her husband (or any of the married men) ending up on a club ride with a solitary female rider. Meaning just the two going by themselves. As far as appearances, it could be misconstrued; she was concerned for the guys' reputations. So the club finally decided that out of respect for the marriages in the club, any ride at which only one man and one woman showed up would automatically be canceled. I totally understand and agree with the decision.

Yeah, as a single gal, it means there are times when a ride I am planning on attending is canceled. But doesn't being part of a team mean you also look out for the benefit of your team members? I trust the guys in the club. I respect them greatly. And seeing them put their relationships with their wives before their cycling or race training only makes me respect them more. I would like a man who would do that for me.

I talked to my mom about the situation. My parents have a very stable, secure and solid marriage. Both have acquaintances and friends of the opposite sex. And both trust each other implicitly. I've seen them give up things for the benefit and welfare of the other. I don't know the emotional or personal issues which prompted the wife in my story to be uncomfortable. But for me it boiled down to whether or not I was willing to give up something (like a good, hard ride) for the sake of another. For me it is just an opportunity to practice the things that have helped my parents in their marriage.