I guess I'm very lucky in that my husband of 18 years really encourages my riding and is very supportive of me. Up until fairly recently, he was a much stronger rider than I, but I've started training for longer distances and I've become the stronger one.

To be honest, I was was a bit worried about how he'd feel, and I felt a bit guilty, when I started doing a lot of rides on my own and with groups that he wouldn't be able to keep up with.

I still ride with my husband a lot, but not as much as I used to. I generally do one long, strenous ride one weekend day (usually Saturday) without him, and then do a more relaxed ride with him the other weekend day. So I haven't really "abandoned" him. He also likes to ride on his own, so sometimes he'll head out with me as I start my long ride, and then head off on his own along a different route.

So, I guess what you need to find out is, what is it that your husband wants of you?

It seems kind of unfair to me that he would want you to dump the riding buddy just because he's a guy.

Could the issue be that your husband feels you're not spending enough time with him? If that's the case, then the issue might still be there even if your riding buddy were female.

Would it be possible for you to keep riding with the buddy but to go out on fewer rides with him, and go out on more rides with your husband?

I wish you the best. This is a difficult situation, but to be honest, I think your husband is not being very fair to you. But that's just my two cents.