d'oh.

But we have the same sort here -

"I wish I could lose weight"
me - do you exercise?
"no, it doesn't work. I've never been able to lose weight"
me - what about dieting?
"I hate dieting, it doesn't work"
me - have you ever exercised?
"I tried it a few times, it doesn't work. I would prefer diet pills, I shouldn't have to exercise just to lose weight"

makes you want to kick 'em sometimes.