Ruth,

Having gone through a similar trial, I can truly say that I understand how you feel. My heart goes out to you and your family. You always know it's going to be hard when it happens, but you never really know how hard.

When my father passed away, a lot of people told me they were sorry for my loss. I appreciated all of their kind words. Eventually I started to see things differently and I becam thankful for every moment, every interaction I'd had with my Dad. I became thankful for my grief because it was a sign of how strong our bond was. How much sadder would it be to not feel grief for a parent because you had not experienced that deep love.

Take care of yourself. Process things as you need to. Love your family and friends, they will help you heal.