Thanks ladies. Just knowing that someone understands and can feel my desperation helps. You just don't know how much. I hope I don't sound depressed. I am usually a pretty positive, upbeat person and try to always look at the good sides of thing, so to let this get me down into depression is something I really don't want to let happen.
Desperate yes, not wanting to look at myself in the mirror or pictures, upset with the way I look, most definitely!
I'm just get so tired of trying with constant failure. I think I will print this post off and take it to my doctore and do like you girls say and take someone with me.
I have a good relationship with my doctor but I think I have seen him for so long that he doesn't take me serious anymore and he really aggrevates me with this. I even told him the last time I saw him that I thought that and I felt like he still blew me off. I'm always pretty easy going so I think maybe he takes that for granted. If he won't listen to me again, then I will be forced to change my doctor.
I have diabetes in my family, but don't really think I have it yet, but am a canidate for it especially if I don't get some of this weight off.

Again, thanks for the support and understanding girls, you just don't know how much I appreciate it.
I won't give up. I don't do that very easily. I may get discouraged and have my pity party now and then, but I keep plugging along in one way or another.