Cinderella rider concerned about ex

[ride4ur_life]

greetings everyone,
I am very concerned about my ex "video stalking" me next saturday while on the Cinderella. He has done this in the past while I have rode around town. I have heard good things about the riders on the Cinderella and was wondering if this is something I should be concerned about. He isn't really a violent person but is a bit obsessed with me and my moving on with out him. Any suggestions?

[Veronica]

A restraining order? Stalking is a crime in California.

V.

[Trek420]

I am soooooo sorry you're going through this.

But do come out for the ride. Just my $0.02 you can't give in to fear, that's what he wants and then he wins. The jerk needs to move on, get a life, and that needs to be lived out in a cell if he's stalking you.

I imagine there are situations for each of us where we don't honestly know what we're capable of doing, defending a loved one comes to mind. But there are no adjectives to "violent person" as in "He isn't really a violent person" it's like "sort of pregnant".

He's violating your personal space, privacy, please protect yourself. He needs to be gone.

Please come to the pre-ride Cindy dinner that way you'd know a bunch of us and we'll know you.

It's not like I'm offering body guard services <vbg> but I juuuuust happen to have a 2nd degree black belt in Aikido. Ride with Spazz and me, seriously, or watch for us.

That way if I cant throw him into next Sunday Spazz will dazzle him with her Zebra striped bike till the rest of TE arrives to pelt him with cookies, so there.

OK, since I'm slow it'll be the other way around, pelted with cookies till I arrive.

Come ride with us.

[bounceswoosh]

greetings everyone,
I am very concerned about my ex "video stalking" me next saturday while on the Cinderella. He has done this in the past while I have rode around town. I have heard good things about the riders on the Cinderella and was wondering if this is something I should be concerned about. He isn't really a violent person but is a bit obsessed with me and my moving on with out him. Any suggestions?

Ugh, what a nasty situation =/

I don't really have any good advice here. I was also once scared of what an ex might do, although he never actually ended up stalking me. Some of the things he said ... well, it was scary there for a while.

Definitely hook up with some other riders and make sure you have a "buddy system" in effect ... don't let yourself get isolated. I agree that you have to live your life and not be fearful, but a partner doesn't seem like too much of a compromise.

[Bike Goddess]

How frightening this must be for you! However, I must point out, it would be hard for him to video you as there are sooo many of us. He'd also have to get a route sheet and I'm not sure he can just get one by asking.

Yes, ride with someone- this won't be hard as there are riders of all abilities on this ride.

I think I'd also be worried about when you get done as well. That would to me be another time when you are tired and vulnerable. You should have our cell numbers (another reason to come to the pre dinner) and we should have yours so we can keep in contact.

One more point in your favor- you can't just walk into the starting area. You have to have ID and a green card in your hand.

[BikeMomma]

All extremely good points these ladies have. If you can make the dinner with us the night before, please do! It will be great to meet you, so we know who to surround (imagine a herd of elephants encircling their young...). If you can't make the dinner, let us know what you'll be wearing and the make/color of your bike, so we can keep an eye out. Also, perhaps a description of your ex, make & color of car, etc.?

I'm worried for you... there sure are some real losers in this world

[spazzdog]

I've been debating putting that old pickup truck rifle rack on my bike... I can see the time has come.

Can you tell I was brought up in Texas

No worries girl. No man, even in his wrong mind would be stupid enough to bother a woman in the middle of an all woman bike event. He'd be pullin' bike parts out of his orifaces for the rest of his life.

Estrogen x 2500 trumps Testosteron x 1 everytime.

[cindysue]

One more point in your favor- you can't just walk into the starting area. You have to have ID and a green card in your hand.

Nancy has a good point. He will stick out like a sore thumb if he is lurching around the course. You, on the other hand, will be one among 2499 other women riding. I think he would be hard pressed to spot you.

Moreover, I'm sure the ride organizers are ready to deal with the perverts and freaks that attend this type of event.

BTW - Don't post what you'll be wearing on this site (send one of us a private message) because it is a public domain. AND Do let the police and perhaps the ride organizers know about the situation.

[Hill Slug]

In addition to Spazz's rifle, I have pepper spray......

[Trek420]

I think ride4 will be fine, we'll just surround him and stab him with our piercing wit.

there will be crew, sag and yes, cops everywhere the latter wanting to ticket us for running lights and just itching for something more exciting to do.

he'd be a moron to try anything on you there...oh, wait, he is.

[CorsairMac]

BTW - Don't post what you'll be wearing on this site (send one of us a private message) because it is a public domain. AND Do let the police and perhaps the ride organizers know about the situation.

My thoughts exactly - tell the organizers and the rest stop volunteers about it, what he looks like etc etc. The "exposed" you make him, the less chances he has. And I'm with everyone else on this one, don't go anywhere alone - especially at the finish when you're tired and less alert. Even if you have to "make" a friend who'll stay with you until you're in your car and safely away.

And go TE girls.....I can't think of anything more scary then female cyclists.....hormones and the ability to ride centuries!??.....what a combo!!!!

[Melody]

I've been debating putting that old pickup truck rifle rack on my bike... I can see the time has come.

Can you tell I was brought up in Texas

heh. I was born in Korea, but I was brought up in Texas. Lived there till I was 22, so I consider myself a Texan through and through. In fact, I jokingly tell people to look for the asian hick when they try to find me.

I have to say though that I miss the state. Still have alot of friends there.

Mel "Hope I didn't hijack the thread"

[AutumnBreez]

I've been debating putting that old pickup truck rifle rack on my bike... I can see the time has come.

Can you tell I was brought up in Texas

No worries girl. No man, even in his wrong mind would be stupid enough to bother a woman in the middle of an all woman bike event. He'd be pullin' bike parts out of his orifaces for the rest of his life.

Estrogen x 2500 trumps Testosteron x 1 everytime.

Wow....you have some powerful friends, don't think you have a thing to worry about.
No, really....I think that you must carry on as you have with going on with your life. You made the first steps, keep on goin' girl! Don't let him win your fear. You own your life, not him!
I have been in this same realm of fear about an ex...that I had 2 kids with...They are now adopted to my husband (present). The looking over the shoulder habit, will cease with time.
Now go ride your butt off!

[spazzdog]

I'm lovin' this!

All grrls should experience that particular "swagger" a fine pair of cowboy boots provides

spazz (who wears her boots like most others wear sneakers)

[Trek420]

spazz and mel,

are you bringing your spd compatible boots?