is it just me???

[bikerchick68]

what do you ladies think of this?

My brother drove in this weekend and we did an event ride together. We opted to do 70 miles and rode together almost all day altho at times one or the other would pull ahead 100 yds or so (usually him except at the end I felt strong)... but we always wait for each other... the purpose of us riding is to enjoy the ride and do stuff together...

2 of his friends also drove in and were riding the century together... but one is VERY fast. The other guy is way faster than me, but not as fast as the other...

my bro and I pull in to the 1st SAG and there is the slower of the 2... 18 miles in and already alone... he seemed irritated.

As we rode my bro said the other guy never waits... he has this thing about how fast can he go etc. I get that to a degree... but not at the cost of stranding my friends. I rode with them a few weeks ago and he blasted off the front then too... I TOLD them I wasn't as fast... so I have to say I was irritated.

So, is it just me? Am I being overly sensitive? I'm not a "racer" so maybe my perspective is whacked compared to others... I just thought it stunk.

[spokewench]

Well, this is the same ol same ol story. Some people do not like to ride with others. If this is the case, I am of the opinion, I'd rather not ride with them either. They aren't any fun to ride with anyway. Most of the time, I am not put out by people wanting to ride by themselves especially if they are faster than me. I will start the ride by saying something like if you end up being faster than me, and you want to ride on, please do so, it doesn't bother me. At that point, the other person can say "okay" or "Oh, I'm fine with riding slower to have company" Then, I know where I stand and don't worry about anything. I have some friends that will ride together no matter, but that is all pre-arranged too so everyone knows what to expect and no one gets bent.

That's how I deal with it, cause I've been riding with people who are lots faster than I am for years, and then I've some friends that are a lot slower too and they don't always expect me to ride with them the whole ride.

spoke

[mimitabby]

I'm with Spoke. Talk about it before the ride starts. "I get stiff and sore
if i don't ride fast, so i won't wait for you" then you know.

[stacie]

Sure, there are rides that I do that are primarily social events with my friends. I have friends who come from all over the the country to ride the MS150 together. We all stick together and ride a pace that everyone can maintain within reason. However, that is an unusual case. If my friends and I have spent months training for an event, I believe everyone should do whatever it takes to accomplish their goals and ride their best. We ride together in the car and know approximately when the other's will finish. It's fun to train together, but the actual events are about personal accomplishment. I would not want someone not meeting their goal because they waited for me.

[CR400]

I hate being dropped when I think I'm out for a fun ride. If its a race it angers me for competative reasons. I really think if you go out for a ride with somebody else you should stick with them no matter how slow they are. Of course this is coming from somebody who rides with men a lot, ususally men get so competative they'll drop their own wives, mothers, and daughters if somebody wants to go faster then them. Even if I do drop somebody I'm with it is to chase a faster person until I catch them then come back and ride with my friend. However, if you agree that it is ok for one person to go ahead, fine. I usually don't though because I know how bad it feels to be dropped by a friend.

[7rider]

Bike riding imitates life.
It's all about communication.

You've got to establish the goals of the ride *before* the ride. If someone wants to hammer - fine - so long as that's expected beforehand -- "Bye. Wait for us at the next rest stop." Group rides can be delicate balancing acts - especially if the group differs greatly in ability. Pity the guy doesn't talk.

[Veronica]

If I tell someone I'm going to ride with them, then I ride with them. I may not always be right there, ten feet away from them. But I'm not miles ahead either.

If someone I know is loads faster than me has said that they will ride with me, I give them an out. "If you want to go ahead, it's fine with me."

Communication is hard sometimes.

V.

[maillotpois]

I agree with V, Regina, spoke, etc. - it's an issue of

1. Communication - what are your expectations for the ride? What are the other person's? Are you on the same page?

2. Goals - what is your goal for this ride? Is it a fun ride or are you trying to beat a time from last year, set a PR, etc. If it is the latter, your best off not agreeing to ride with someone else - or at least be VERY up front about you goals, which takes you back to #1....

[KSH]

Well, it all depends on the situation.

For example, when my boyfriend and I go to a bike rally together, I know that he won't ride with me. I'm fine with that. I hate him slowing down to wait for me. I let him go ahead and if he wants to wait at rest stops, fine. If not, then we can meet at the car at the end. At our last bike rally, we took turns leaving the other one. At times I was faster and other times he was.

Whereas for the Hotter N Hell bike rally last year, Heidi and I decided to stay together. She would pull us and I would pull us (although we slowed down when I was in the lead!). We agreed to stick together and did just that.

And recently I met a lady to ride around a local lake. We rode around the first time, and it was obvious that I was faster. I was willing to stop and wait so she could catch up, but after the 1st time around, she told me it was fine if I went ahead and didn't wait for her. Now, I know when I say that, I mean it. In fact, I get annoyed if someone doesn't go ahead when I tell them it's OK. So, I went ahead.

I left a note on her car when we left (I had to get home for homework) and e-mailed her twice after the ride, but she never responded. So, I think she was upset with me for going ahead (mind you, it's a safe path, and a 10 mile loop. If we had been riding on city streets I never would have gone ahead).

[bmccasland]

I agree with the gang - communication is key.

Fast guy should have said he likes to ride fast. Or at least now all of you know he rides fast and he probably doesn't care how you feel if you can't keep up. Not-quite-so-fast guy now knows his friend will leave him in the dust if he can't keep the pace.

I train with all classes of riders from the office after work a couple of days a week. I'm not so fast, and have left slower-than-me riders after a few miles - it's on the levee bike path, so safe. Generally the group rides 18-20 and the pullers are quite capable of going faster. BUT they help us train by slowing some and making us work. A nice compromise. Bascially I hang for as long as I can, and then announce I'm toast or that I need to stop and let my lungs catch up. On the MS training rides or the MS 150, the faster guys get to go fast to their heart's content, as there are plenty of riders in my group for me to hang with. AND at the end, the fast guys (freshly showered devils) have gone to fetch beer and treats for those of us middlings that are just getting in.

[bikerchick68]

thanks for all the replies... it was good to get this feedback.

on the day WE rode, he had told my brother to tell me to bring my bike so we could ride... knowing I am slower than him and STILL dropped me... I was pretty specific about the pace I could keep, so it annoyed me.

I don't know for certain, but my impression was that on Sat ride, the slower of the 2 believed they drove 3 hours down here to ride it more or less together... but I didn't specifically ask him as it was not my business.

All that being said, as I mentioned I am a social rider, not a racer, so for me the expectation is that I'm gonna be on the bike at some pace or another Sometimes faster, sometimes slower depending on who's along... but it's my personal goal to never leave others in the dust on a social ride...

I DO agree tho, that if someone tells you to go, they should MEAN it... telling you to go ahead and then being huffy about it is no good at all!

thanks again for all the responses... sometimes I need to hear other points of view!

[smilingcat]

When I ride wih a friend or in a group, I stay with the group. Otherwise why bother. Am I impressing by dropping people? well I think its pretty rude when it is supposed to be a group ride.

If the guy said, "I'll join for the group ride" then promptly drops the group, I think he has some serious personal issues (ego).

And the other is "Its okay and go on ahead" and later is huffy about it, well they should never have offered it. Say what you really mean cause I can't read your mind. I hate this mind game...

Anyway, I'm on the same mindet as everyone else. On a social ride, I like to stay with the group. I like to kibbitz.