Testy People

[Crankin]

Well,that's almost as good as what my in-laws told my husband when we got engaged: "She has so much more education than you, she will probably leave you..." Then, after he went back to finish his degree, they have spent most of the last 28 years smirking that I turned him into a snob.

I am not sure why people act so vehemently against others who live in a healthy way. It's a jealousy that seems not proportional to the situation. But, I agree. A friend of many years recently told another mutual friend of ours that we are "over the top" with cycling. Now, it's OK for her to brag about her brother and sister and law running marathons or to endlessly tell me about how she USED to hike, etc. When I did aerobics this was "acceptable" to her. But now she is getting fat and always telling me how she can't do anything. And I know she is jealous that I spend so much time with my husband cycling. I haven't called her since my friend told me she said this.

[Dianyla]

Meeeeowww!!!

[uforgot]

Where the heck do you guys find these people? I have never had anyone meet my biking addiction with anything but a smile and a "Man, I should do that". Or people I don't know at the Post Office volunteer that it's a great idea with these gas prices! My friends think I'm a little nuts to spend more on a saddle than they do on an entire bike, but I make fun of them for attending "purse" parties, so we just laugh about it. Not one person has told me to ride on the sidewalks. People just wave and force me to go first at intersections. This is a blue collar community. Lots of big trucks with big wheels, too, and 9 times out of 10 those trucks stop and offer me a ride when it's raining. Saturday I had a flat by the library. Like a dork, I had put the wrong tube in my pack, so I couldn't change it. It took me less than 30 seconds to find a ride home, and before I discovered my tube mistake, the librarian was insisting I bring my bike inside, and did I need a table?

Sometimes I hate small town life, no Starbucks, and everone knowing my business, but when I look at your stories, I realize I may not WANT to move back to St. Louis like I thought. Now if only I had more than 8 miles of pavement in any direction. sigh. (But it's all good, we have awesome gravel roads and I'm in touch with my mountain biking side, too).

[dex]

've found that people who don't exercise get defensive when they're around people who do, even though they could do it themselves if they really wanted to!

I once asked that question of an acquaintance of mine who was taking on that kind of defensive stance around me whenever the topic of my lifting or rowing came up, and the answer I got was pretty interesting. In hindsight, it made total sense, though.

She told me that anytime she sees, or hears about, people who are really into some kind of exercise or sport, she gets defensive because she feels like she's being judged for not doing those things. It wasn't jealousy really, it was insecurity and the fear of judgement that immediately threw up those walls of attitude around her.

I'd love it if she decided to come outside and play in the sunshine and fresh air every once in awhile, but she says she's happier staying inside reading, cooking, or watching movies. *shrug*

[LBTC]

And for me, all of the stories of riding and fitness and achievement alternate between jealousy and reminiscing, usually followed by the thought that this situation is temporary - once I figure out what my body needs to keep this disease in check, then I can get back on the path to fitness.

*sigh*

But I am so happy I was there once, so I know that I can do it...

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[Crankin]

I haven't had vehement reactions to my cycling; it's just this one person who definitely has "issues" of her own. It's just that she WAS a very close friend. Everyone at work thinks it's cool that I commute. Most people don't understand how I can do all this cycling, but they don't get mean! There are tons of cyclists in my area, so it is not unusual.

[missymaya]

I don't face a lot of people who become jealous when I mention my cycling or eating habits. Actually, recently, the people I've talked with express how they want to become more healthy and I try to give them positive feedback on that decision. Hey any exercise, whether it be cycling, swimming, running, etc. is better than none and couple that with eating right, your health should improve.
The only people that give me any grief are my parents. My mom just starting riding with my grandfather, a couple of miles, pretty slow, everyday, which I think is great and she just started weight watchers. My father doesn't do anything because "he has no time"and eats and drinks whatever is the "best" also known as the rich fatty foods and alcohol. Whenever I see them and they ask about my cycling, of course I respond with my most recent adventures and what I plan on doing. They then compare me to one of their friends who supposedly competed at the top level and had a $10,000 bike that he just sold and all of this other crap. I've had enough of it. I'm not this guy (who by the way, have never met at any of the group rides or anywhere for that matter), I don't have a $1,000 bike and I don't compete (as of yet, but very soon I hope) and I'm not a pro; don't compare me to him. It's like they don't even listen to me, even though they asked about my cycling; they just want to look better. What the F!

[margo49]

Sometimes I hate small town life, no Starbucks, and everone knowing my business, but when I look at your stories, I realize I may not WANT to move back to St. Louis like I thought. Now if only I had more than 8 miles of pavement in any direction. sigh. (But it's all good, we have awesome gravel roads and I'm in touch with my mountain biking side, too).

I'm with uforgot. I also live in a tiny place and not many cyclists and no women. Even the lbs partner said once to another customer "There are 2 women riders round here - me and her"
But people love to see me on my bike. They know I love it and they know what I have been through. Everybody loves a fighter. Everybody wants to see you beat the odds (in whatever way eg illness, injury, misfortune).
That said, they don't necessarily want to do it their actual selves. I think it *does* provoke them to see what is possible if you really set yourself to achieve something and that frightens them at a deep level. Because it means they have no excuse for their own lack of achievement. So they say "Ah, yeah margo is weird/different/special. The normal universal laws of physics and energy don't apply to her for some reason."

Interesting discussion...
$0.02 payable to margo49 Swiss bank account number available by PM

[margo49]

That bit about margo and her unique energies is of course true at the level of quantumn physics and her frequent interactions with the Fabric of the Space-Time Continuum, but only Kits and I know the Whole Story. It is also Off Topic but I don't want to leave Kits a loop-hole to jump on me through

[Jenn]

Meeeeowww!!!

That is EXACTLY what I thought pft..pft....reeeeeerr...You know how "catty" some women can get!

[Geonz]

It's human nature to get defensive when a spotlight is shown on something we really, truly, *know* we shoudl be doing better with. If you get mad you don't have to look at yourself.