Testy People

[northstar]

I do feel some pride when talking about how much I get done by bike. It's just a win-win for me. When people rattle off excuses I mention things like racks and panniers...and then tag on that my bike commute is almost 17 miles when I make it. (I'm currently a once-a-weeker.)

I really don't think most people even consider biking as a transportation option. Until they meet someone like a lot of the ladies here on TE, it doesn't really even cross their minds. So, I do pipe up once about how practical and cheap bike use has been, and I talk about how much fun I have. I try to kind of feel out how receptive the person might be when I decide if I want to engage in any further discussion. Some people get REALLY defensive when you ask them to get off their duffs. I used to be like that! And I figure, as expensive as gas is going to get, many people will HAVE to make a change sooner or later.

And on the jealousy stuff, it's very real, and really disgusting. I heard my sister in law saying the nastiest things about this day care mom who had lost weight and was running and so proud of herself. It was so catty...gotta wonder what she might be saying about me, since I'm training for a duathlon the end of this summer. Hee hee. I've been insulted for worse things.

[teigyr]

The jealousy is ridiculous. I think people don't want to work for rewards hence all the "quick fix" solutions. If someone gets to where they are by working for it, there is criticism. I also think people subconsciously compete and if someone betters themselves by diet, exercise, education, or a combination thereof, other people see it as magnifying their flaws. If that makes sense!!!

A wee bit off topic but before I met DH, I was going out with a guy who felt threatened when I rode my bike. It finally came to a head when I went back to school and he said "you will probably get an education and leave me". HUH?! I did but it was before school even started

While it's two different situations, I think it shows an underlying problem in people.

of course, this was the guy who wanted me to get a boob job because it was "improving" myself while riding my bike or going to school was different, somehow. And no, I didn't do it!

[Crankin]

Well,that's almost as good as what my in-laws told my husband when we got engaged: "She has so much more education than you, she will probably leave you..." Then, after he went back to finish his degree, they have spent most of the last 28 years smirking that I turned him into a snob.

I am not sure why people act so vehemently against others who live in a healthy way. It's a jealousy that seems not proportional to the situation. But, I agree. A friend of many years recently told another mutual friend of ours that we are "over the top" with cycling. Now, it's OK for her to brag about her brother and sister and law running marathons or to endlessly tell me about how she USED to hike, etc. When I did aerobics this was "acceptable" to her. But now she is getting fat and always telling me how she can't do anything. And I know she is jealous that I spend so much time with my husband cycling. I haven't called her since my friend told me she said this.

[Dianyla]

Meeeeowww!!!

[uforgot]

Where the heck do you guys find these people? I have never had anyone meet my biking addiction with anything but a smile and a "Man, I should do that". Or people I don't know at the Post Office volunteer that it's a great idea with these gas prices! My friends think I'm a little nuts to spend more on a saddle than they do on an entire bike, but I make fun of them for attending "purse" parties, so we just laugh about it. Not one person has told me to ride on the sidewalks. People just wave and force me to go first at intersections. This is a blue collar community. Lots of big trucks with big wheels, too, and 9 times out of 10 those trucks stop and offer me a ride when it's raining. Saturday I had a flat by the library. Like a dork, I had put the wrong tube in my pack, so I couldn't change it. It took me less than 30 seconds to find a ride home, and before I discovered my tube mistake, the librarian was insisting I bring my bike inside, and did I need a table?

Sometimes I hate small town life, no Starbucks, and everone knowing my business, but when I look at your stories, I realize I may not WANT to move back to St. Louis like I thought. Now if only I had more than 8 miles of pavement in any direction. sigh. (But it's all good, we have awesome gravel roads and I'm in touch with my mountain biking side, too).

[dex]

've found that people who don't exercise get defensive when they're around people who do, even though they could do it themselves if they really wanted to!

I once asked that question of an acquaintance of mine who was taking on that kind of defensive stance around me whenever the topic of my lifting or rowing came up, and the answer I got was pretty interesting. In hindsight, it made total sense, though.

She told me that anytime she sees, or hears about, people who are really into some kind of exercise or sport, she gets defensive because she feels like she's being judged for not doing those things. It wasn't jealousy really, it was insecurity and the fear of judgement that immediately threw up those walls of attitude around her.

I'd love it if she decided to come outside and play in the sunshine and fresh air every once in awhile, but she says she's happier staying inside reading, cooking, or watching movies. *shrug*

[LBTC]

And for me, all of the stories of riding and fitness and achievement alternate between jealousy and reminiscing, usually followed by the thought that this situation is temporary - once I figure out what my body needs to keep this disease in check, then I can get back on the path to fitness.

*sigh*

But I am so happy I was there once, so I know that I can do it...

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[margo49]

Sometimes I hate small town life, no Starbucks, and everone knowing my business, but when I look at your stories, I realize I may not WANT to move back to St. Louis like I thought. Now if only I had more than 8 miles of pavement in any direction. sigh. (But it's all good, we have awesome gravel roads and I'm in touch with my mountain biking side, too).

I'm with uforgot. I also live in a tiny place and not many cyclists and no women. Even the lbs partner said once to another customer "There are 2 women riders round here - me and her"
But people love to see me on my bike. They know I love it and they know what I have been through. Everybody loves a fighter. Everybody wants to see you beat the odds (in whatever way eg illness, injury, misfortune).
That said, they don't necessarily want to do it their actual selves. I think it *does* provoke them to see what is possible if you really set yourself to achieve something and that frightens them at a deep level. Because it means they have no excuse for their own lack of achievement. So they say "Ah, yeah margo is weird/different/special. The normal universal laws of physics and energy don't apply to her for some reason."

Interesting discussion...
$0.02 payable to margo49 Swiss bank account number available by PM

[margo49]

That bit about margo and her unique energies is of course true at the level of quantumn physics and her frequent interactions with the Fabric of the Space-Time Continuum, but only Kits and I know the Whole Story. It is also Off Topic but I don't want to leave Kits a loop-hole to jump on me through

[Jenn]

Meeeeowww!!!

That is EXACTLY what I thought pft..pft....reeeeeerr...You know how "catty" some women can get!

[Geonz]

It's human nature to get defensive when a spotlight is shown on something we really, truly, *know* we shoudl be doing better with. If you get mad you don't have to look at yourself.