I'm glad to have found this thread too. Intense, your mom and mine sound a lot alike. The difference is, it's been years since I've tried to make peace with her. I decided a long time ago, whether right or wrong, that life is too short to deal with the anxiety, stress, guilt, etc, etc, of pretending to get along with poisonous people, even if they are family.

The last card that I got her on mother's day said "because it's mother's day, because you're you". I don't think I wrote anything in it besides signing it.

One thing she taught me without reservation is to never appear to condone something if you really don't. Well, I try to be more accepting of just about everyone, but she is the one who taught me the lesson, so I'd best practice it perfectly when it comes to her. I don't condone her behaviour, so I will not be party to it. And that's all there is to it.

Generally speaking, I don't think about my blood family much; my family is made up of the sisters here, and my dearest friends, and, of course, my fur kids past and present.

Happy 'your' day! May it be loaded with butterflies,

Hugs,
~T~