I agree soooo much with Trisk's post. My husband did stay home with son #1 until he was eight months old. Other things in our lives worked out so he could and it really relieved stress for me about going back to work after 6 weeks. He was a colicky baby and I swear, I can still see myself getting into the car the first day i went back and going "Phew..." I mean, I know what I was wearing, after almost 25 years! I also think that sometimes I am the only one who has a husband like mine. Maybe I was lucky that I am a teacher and I do get home earlier than most people, so I could drive them to activities, but there were still a lot of stresses.
Both of my sons are very clear that they need to marry "women who can contribute to the family income." The oldest is dating someone who is an architect, stuck at a horrible internship type job. She's made some career mistakes after going to a very expensive and prestigious school (RISD). From what my son tells me, her parents have given her no "guidance or role models." He says they are like old hippies and she has to parent them. I feel badly for her, so Steve and I try to help with advice when she asks. She is 27 and should be in a different place by now, given some of the other things she's done. So, I can see how the way you conduct your own life can affect your kid as an adult. I know for sure that my kids will be totally participatory dads who work as a team with their wives, because that is what they lived while growing up.