Sounds like you do want a road bike over a touring bike, but a road bike built for more comfortable distance riding than racing. In fact if you are not so tall it may be even be quite difficult to find a touring style bike that fits, as they have a tendency to be longer in the top tube than road geometry bikes. Have you ever looked into the Trek Pilot series? They are built to be ridden a little less aggresively - a little more upright, but not as upright as a hybrid, they are still road bikes. They come in several materials - carbon or aluminum/carbon. There are a good many women on this forum who have and love them. If you are taller maybe check out the Specialized Roubaix - they are supposedly built for comfort over longer, bumpier rides. The Ruby is a women's version of this one.

Also working on your core strength can help. The more your core holds you up on the bike the less pressure your wrists and arms are going to take. Of course if you are too stretched out no amount of core strength will help so make sure your eventual bike is a good fit.