Good ride w/short rant!

[mimitabby]

well, Bikerhen, if you hadn't had to lay down in the street with your arms outstretched to blow your nose, I wouldn't have asked you if you needed some help.
ONLY KIDDING!!

it is a matter of perception. That's better than finding out someone was
really needing help and got ignored.

I'm glad you had a good ride!

[DarcyInOregon]

Bikerhen, I agree with the others. It is your gender, not your weight.

However I have been guilty of asking cyclists if they needed help. I live on top of a small mountain, right where the road goes from asphalt to gravel. During the good weather roadies will cycle up the narrow mountain road for their hill training. Last month a young healthy man was stopped near the bottom of my drive as I exited with my bike on the car rack. I rolled down my window and asked if he needed help. He looked bemused and said no, that he was merely eating and drinking.

It happens to me also when I am stopped by the edge of the road to eat and drink and be off the saddle. Now and then a cyclist comes by, and the newer cyclists tend to ask if I need help.

Kudos on your hill climbing yesterday. You should feel very proud of yourself.

Darcy

[Thorn]

So......when I'm riding and I see people on the side of the road and ask, "Mechanical or just enjoying the view?" I shouldn't be? I often ask, particularly if the rider is solo. I think of it as, if I was by myself with a mechanical problem, that I'd want someone to stop.

Hmmmm.....so, which is worse? Asking after someone? Or ignoring them? Or, is there a way to word the question so as to cover a "need help" and a "please let me enjoy the rest"?

[bikerHen]

OK FINE! The next time I stop to blow my nose I'll remain upright!

Like I said, I'm sensitive. But after hearing "Are you OK?" or "Are you doing OK?" or "Keep going your doing great" for four hours I get a little jaded. It was men and women so not just a gender thing. The more I think about it, it was my riding alone that may have sparked some of the concern. I will ask a person if they need help if it looks like they do, and I like being asked if I'm off the bike with multi tool in hand, but when I'm standing there stradling my bike blowing my nose? Duh, I've stop to blow my nose! bikerHen

[lauraelmore1033]

as offensive as unsolicited offers of help may seem, it's worse when you really do need help and you tell one of those kindly people that you are indeed in distress, only to see them zoom on down the road. I was having a serious mechanical problem on the side of the road a few weeks back and at least three guys asked, "are you ok?". I said, "no, I'm not ok," all three times and none of them stopped. I can't imagine why they bothered to ask!!! I have been guilty of asking if someone needed help, but that was only because I was fully prepaired to stop and render assistance if needed, but I suspect the majority who ask aren't.

[SadieKate]

Laurel, I had no idea people would ask and zoom on by until a few years ago when we stopped to help another tandem. They were rather surprised that we stopped but then told us the same story. I agree. Why ask if you aren't prepared to stop? One of the mysteries of the universe.

[ace]

I know exactly what you mean, bikerhen. Sometimes the encouragement/concern feels like condescension to me, too (I'm a big woman). But I'd much rather have people care than not, ultimately. For all of you who do offer help, please keep on doing it!

[kjay]

You know, I have been riding for about ten years, am overweight, and in my 60s, so I actually appreciate the questions from those passing by, as one of these time I just may need the help. I am proud of what I've accomplished in spite of my age and weight, so I just keep on keepin on to get stronger, fitter, and thinner. I think it shows how compassionate and helpful many bikers can be, and it's great to see that.

[kjay]

Forgot to mention that I also ask men who are stopped if they're okay.
Why not? LOL

[Veronica]

Sometimes as you're riding by, you're not exactly sure what the person is doing. I once asked a guy taking a nature break if he needed help.

V.

[IFjane]

Sometimes as you're riding by, you're not exactly sure what the person is doing. I once asked a guy taking a nature break if he needed help.

V.

Veronica - I can't believe I am the only one who wants to know this - what did they guy say?? and did you help!

[SadieKate]

If someone is just blowing his or her snoz we probably won't say anything, but both hubby and I ask anyone and everyone regardless of gender, size, polka dots or stripes, if they need anything. I think everyone that I typically ride with does the same thing. It's just courtesy. If we can't immediately identify why they're off the bike, they get asked. We even ask if they have a tool in hand because some folks have tools but haven't a clue how to use them. It's a group effort to get everyone from start to finish. I gave a guy a tube yesterday and when I rode up on him he was pretty much the standing in the shade on a decent. He didn't look in stress at all but I asked anyway. Good thing I did. His tubes and patches were still in the car in the bag the shop put them in and he was hoping for a SAG to find him. But he got moi!

I guess the words "do you need anything" rather than "are you OK" may be better received?

[teigyr]

When I was on the Calif Aids Ride (which dates me, so I'm told!), I saw a guy standing by the side of the road off his bike on one of the ickier downhills. Being that I am the downhill wuss, I was going slow enough to ask him if he was ok. He looked kind of confused so I stopped. Turns out he had been speeding down the hill and his bike started shaking. He was able to slow and stop but it scared the bejesus out of him! He really was just scared and wanted to talk. After about 10 minutes, we both started out again where he quickly passed me downhill (I'm the only one I think who tends to go faster uphill than down) and I never saw him again.

You never know when someone truly needs something or when they don't. I know what it's like being talked down to and I realize it is frustrating. I think though you and every other woman on this site proves these people wrong every day because this is one of the strongest group of people I've ever seen. If people asked you if you needed help for any reason other than treating you as a person (instead of a female or overweight female or whatever), you make them look foolish by them that they're wrong to have preconceptions. If that makes sense

[spokewench]

If I am on a ride and someone is stopped by themselves alone, I always ask if they are okay. They may have a mechanical I cannot see immediately, a flat I have not noticed, or just need some food or something. I don't care if they are men or women, heavy, skinny, racer types, whatever. I ask all of them. So, don't feel bad, these people are just looking out for you. When you need the help, you will be thankful and I always feel if I make sure people are all right on a ride, when I need some help some time, then someone will stop to help me! It's all Karma!

jan

[smilingcat]

My querry is something like "how's everything?" I hope this is more neutral than asking "are you okay?" The latter assumes you are in trouble.

Might help others to rephrase the question a bit. And to biker hen, would a comment of how's everything be more pallatable? I'm asking because I don't want to be a downer on your good day of riding. And its really wonderful that you could climb the hills and have enough air to talk. best revenge is to start talking back until they run out of breath. .

How's the climb?
Don't you think its a lovely day out and oh look over there. A squirrel. How cute...
Wow this hill is really long. How much longer do we have to climb?...
Hill seems to be getting steeper or is it just me?
Oh good you are slowing down too I thought I have to ride by myself to the top.
It's getting really hot. I hope I don't run out of my water. How are you doing with your water...

I've been known to pull stunt like this to an unfriendly Fred & Barnys on a long climb. Sometimes, they realize I'm in better shape. If they get unfriendly, I'll drop them and say a parting word, "Its nice riding with you boys but gotta go" and take off. If the hill isn't too bad I'll shift gears into my 53 chainring and make enough of a racket doing so and take off.

BTW, I've learned not to help the guys out with their flats and other bike problem. A woman helping is just too much for the macho guys... Shheeesh, I've been riding bike way before some of these boys were even born...

meow meow
Smilingcat