What would you have done differently?

[wannaduacentury]

I cannot think of anything I would have changed. There were a few things I wish had not happened, but those were not things I could have controlled; preterm labours, seizures during delivery, 5 months on hospital bedrest with the twins, the twins being born so early and sick, my TIAs and strokes. As I see it, those are the curve balls, the challenges in my life that I had to meet and overcome. Overall I am very happy and blessed.

Jen, I had seizures too when my dd was born(emergency c-section-eclampsia)- I'm not supposed to be here either, but I am- God willing and we're happy and healthy. Jennifer

[Gogirl]

I would have had more kids and had them earlier. I would have ended dead-end relationships earlier. I would have kept my high-paying job so I could retire earlier...and bike more.

[teigyr]

Indysteel,

I will look up that book.

And for all of those who would have left abusive or bad relationships, I agree wholeheartedly. I was there too. I reached a point in my life where I feel all I have to answer to is myself so I would try but there is no shame in walking away if I try to no avail. And there is no excuse for abuse, of course.

A long time ago I was an insecure 23 year old and went out with an abusive guy. I don't think he realized he was abusive but maybe he did. He'd do things like make me cry then say "I'm going out, are you coming?" I'd feel paranoid if he went out without me (he was a cheater) so I'd go but I'd feel ugly because my makeup was runny and my eyes were puffy. He would also do things like hold lighters up to me and if I jumped, he would get mad and say I didn't trust him. BAD man! My regret? None yet but he lives in the same state as me and IF I see him and don't act on my true feelings, I'll be regretful! I think I aged better than him, I'm in a far better place now, and he is doomed to live in whatever hell life he created. 'Course it wouldn't hurt if I kicked him in the shins too but then I'd be the abusive one Idiot.

[lizbids]

What I would have done differently...

--Ignored the trashy girls that made my life miserable in jr. high.

--Go to film school when I had money for it (somehow taking out a loan for $80K right now for school seems absurd).

--Come out when I was in high school.

--Gone to therapy shortly after that

--Cared less about other people's opinions

These lists can go on, right? I can't help but wonder who I would be without these experiences. Maybe I wouldn't be as strong as I am now, you know? So, perhaps we can look back at the shoulda--woulda--couldas and feel anguish, or we can study our present and determine to make better choices that reflect who we are for the future.

That's probably the most positive thing I've uttered all year