Dear So and So

[smilingcat]

To the jerky dude cyclist,

I was minding my own d*&n business riding a straight line, not weaving, not yo-yo-ing my speed. Doing a respectible 20+MPH and when you past me on my left. You didn't even call out. So why the F*&k did you lauch that snot rocket. I almost ran into it. for what ever reason, when you went past, I drifted to your left side and you Mr. A__hole, you launched it on your right side. YOU MISSED!!

Then to the two boys, one riding a brand spanking new Colnago with Record component, next time please ask if you want to draft off of me. You are a big boy and so was your friend. Back off! I not only had to keep my eye on the road, I needed a second set of eyes on back of my head to keep an eye on you two. With such nice bike and nice component, surely you could have past by me. I was only doing 23MPH. I'm out of shape pld bitty.

GRRRR

[Wahine]

Dear wind gods.

You were very tough on our good pal Denise (AKA Running Mommy) today. You whipped her hard and sent her out on the run with nothing left in her legs. Well, she worked her azz off for a PR at IMAZ. Not only did you take her PR away, she couldn't finish in time for the cut-off.

You're mean and you better make it up to her somehow this year. Maybe you can convince the lottery gods she needs a little cash, or ask the gods in charge of health to leave her alone for awhile.

[Kitsune06]

Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.

Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

[DebW]

Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.

[mimitabby]

Kit, maybe there are creative ways to get around this rule. If you disassembled your bike in the office, it wouldn't be a bike, it would be 2 wheels and some other parts. You could hide parts in dozens of different places. I think this is a challenge your devious mind can easily conquer, while making obvious the inaneness of the current policy.

ROTFL!

[Batbike]

Dear Hurting Friend,

I know you are going through a hard time -- loss of spouse via divorce, loss of house via moving, loss of money (see other two losses) --can all be devastating. In your time of need, you called me and I have tried to be loving, patient, and concerned during your turmoil. Not once I have spoken of me or anything going on in my life, knowing that one day you will be whole again and we can really talk. I have made efforts to keep you focused, keeping you from that dark black hole of loneliness you enjoy, and keep you talking about your situation -- that is why I call you weekly. But, now you resent my calls and my concern. You have decided that I am intrusive and insecure because I haven't heard from you in over a week and want to know what is happening with you! Geez, you could be locked in a dark room refusing to come out (it has happened before), you could be hurt by your now drug-using ex-husband (have no idea what he would do!), or you could be pre-occupied by keeping really busy (a new concept). How am I to know if you don't return my calls in over a week?!

Ok, you finally called -- angry, but you called. I now know you are moving forward, focusing 100% you, and not realizing who you are hurting while you heal. That is OK, because you need to heal but I don't need to be hurt while you heal. I will not call again, but I will occassionally think of you and wish you the best. Maybe one day you will come back to me as my "whole friend", the person I knew before all this happened. Maybe not. Take care, friend.

[weathergal]

Dear God/Mother Nature/whatever,

Enough with the tornadoes. I know that they are part of what interests me about meteorology, and my paycheck after 11 hours of overtime in the last 24 hours will be nice. However, me and everyone else at work are getting tired.

If you must produce tornadoes (and from looking at the pattern it looks like you do), then could you keep them over open country? We really don't need another Greensburg.

Thanks,
weathergal

[Daydrummer]

Okay, I gotta get in on this thread...

Dear Rude Patient,

Thank you for throwing the cup of grape juice at my head! Very original, as the guy in the room next door just cursed. Please keep in mind that i'm here to HELP you, to assist your doctors in finding out what is wrong and to treat you, so you can get back out there in public and throw stuff at other people. If you don't want to get better, then please go back home, so the car accident victim can have a room now.

Sincerely,
Your friendly "Wake Up Call".

[IFjane]

Dear Plastic Packaging Manufacturer,

I know you are so proud of yourselves when you make those nifty almost-hard plastic containers for whatever-it-is-I-need. You must be thrilled when you realize that your newest creation is as safe as Fort Knox. You may impress yourselves, but I, for one, am NOT IMPRESSED! I have ruined scissors, box cutters, knives, chisels, screw drivers, chain saws (ok, not chain saws)......and cut my fingers, hands, wrists and legs......and gouged furniture, floors and cabinets trying to get into the darn things!

Today I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up some of those plastic "dryer balls" on the advice of a co-worker. There are wet clothes sitting in the washer and I can't get the stupid balls out of the package!!!

By the way....the package says, "The Natural Way to Soften Fabrics"......ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but these things are not only encased in plastic, but are MADE OF PLASTIC. Since when is plastic NATURAL?

Love & kisses, Jane

[divingbiker]

Dear recycling coordinator--

In what strange universe does it make sense to you to provide thousands of employees with individual plastic recycling bins for office paper when we had perfectly fine cardboard recycling bins already? Do you not get that plastic is here forever? And it takes energy and petrochemicals to produce that plastic? (And no, it doesn't make it all right just because some of the plastic is "post consumer".) And to do it in the name of Earth Day no less!

Sincerely,

A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"

[logdiva32]

Dear so-and-so
If you told me once, three of four months ago that I could keep my bike upstairs, and I politely declined because after a 10mi hammerfest carrying a 30# bike up 4 stories felt like a death sentence, please remember that at one point in time that option was available to me.

Today, after my ride in, I didn't have my lock so I carried my bike up the 4 floors (because the building manager specified no bikes in the elevator) and asked politely if that option was still available. You not only told me you didn't remember having ever told me that, you also went to the office manager to inquire. You weren't polite about it, came back to me and said "He's not thrilled, it's only okay on an exception basis." WTF. You were the one who looked into bike parking for me!

GRRRRRRRRRRRR

I wonder do you have janitorial staff. stayed at a hotel where the janitorial staff let me lock my bike up in the basement on the level that says "no guests" cause they treat people like crap down there. They usually know all the hiding spots, and hate managers so they never tell..

[IFjane]

Dear MS 150 team leader,

Next time you hear a rumor that I will not be riding the MS 150, please ASK ME FIRST if it is true. Please do NOT take it upon yourself to contact the director of the local MS society to ask what to do with the money I have raised. Instead, check with me because I INTEND TO RIDE EVERY frickin' INCH of the ride!!!
sheesh!!!