If this was one of my students telling me they 'can't' write essays, or that theory is 'too hard' to understand, I would tell them to change the messages and explain how we can change the way we think by repeating something every day for a few weeks - even something we don't believe - and our brain will begin to believe the words we say... kinda like self-imposed brain-washing.

Veronica has given great advice. Start with a course you enjoy and make the ride a specific ride.

You want to get faster to stay with a group... I am guessing you need to increase your hearts ability to work at a higher power output. Intervals are a one way to do this. So make one ride a week a specific training ride, and if you choose intervals, then start with 2-3 intervals during that ride.

Ride as hard as you can for a minute and then rest for a minute then repeat.

Ideally you should work up to riding as hard as you can (if you use a HR monitor, ride into - or as near as possible to - your lactate threshold zone and stay there for 3mins, resting still for only one and repeat about 6-7 times. Its exhausting, but it is one way to improve pack-riding skills on a solo training ride.

Like V says, just start with one ride a week and vefore and during that ride, change the messages you are telling yourself.

Stop telling yourself you hate training. Start telling yourself, this ride might be tough but I will not keep getting dropped. Training rides build my mental toughness, not just my legs. I am an athelete and one thing atheletes do is ride with a purpose.

When you are ready to make a second ride a week a training ride, do it with one of your faster friends. Ask them to ride just above what you feel is your top comfortable speed (they sit at that speed, no surging or slowing) and you just hang on and sit behind them. This is a great way to improve your speed. Not only do your legs learn to go faster and push harder, you get a psychological edge... because suddenly you know you CAN ride at that speed and that is a great thing to know.

Yes... baby steps... yes... time... but if you make even one ride a week specific, you'll find it easier to achieve your goal.