Can I do it? Can i give up chocolate?

[Thistle]

Ok this will probably be long and a bit boring, but my essential question is ... Can i give up chocolate?

Not for a week, not for a month, not for a year, i mean forever

I have used chocolate as my coping mechanism forever. I really mean forever. Since i was six and I was left on the other side of the world with people i didnt know for a year... awful time, eating has worked really well as a coping mechanism for me. Six year olds dont have a lot of coping skills and the woman i stayed with ate for comfort, and obviously found that worked to console me as well.

So, here i am at 46 almost 47. Very overweight and very frustrated. I have just been on a big cycling holiday which was heaps of fun except I was carrying an extra 50 kilos all the way round the 220kms we did over 4 days. No fun at all

I want to lose weight, but actually that's not my focus right now. I feel addicted to chocolate. I use it to numb myself - i know some of you will understand that. Other people use alcohol, drugs, probably cycling , but i use chocolate. It works, if i feel sad, angry, frustrated, upset - i can eat chocolate until i feel so sick that i'm almost vomiting (sorry to be gross ) and suddenly that "god i'm gunna be sick" feeling is so much stronger than anything else and my problems "no longer exist" - well until the "i'm gunna be sick" phase wears off - then if the problems are still foremost in my mind, i hit the chocolate again.

sorry, knew this would be long..

so part of me knows i can do this, i've known this for a while, and yesterday was easter sun and i've eaten so much chocolate i feel yuk! right now i am actually sick of chocolate . Yesterday i was thinking "maybe i'll just stop eating it" and this morning i woke up and thought "that's it, i want out of this addiction"... cos for me it is an addiction. I used to drink a lot of diet coke and i gave that up cos DH wanted us to give it up. That was 18 months agao, and even though I still feel like i'd die for a diet coke some days, i havent had one.

So can i do this with chocolate? I just dont think i'll ever have the ability to just have "some". I gave it up for lent one year and didnt have any for 9 months. I didnt even crave it anymore, but once i had some, that was it.

I think i can do this. I've just thrown out all the chocolate and chocolate drink stuff from our house. It's all in the bin. I'm nervous though, am I expecting too much of myself? DH says "maybe now is not a good time cos you're finishing your thesis", but as i said to him "when will be good? once the thesis is in, i'll be starting a new job and that wont be a good time either".

So seriously, I think i can do this and i think i will feel a lot better for doing it. I guess i just needed to put it all out there, and this is about the only place i feel safe enough to do it

Any opinions are most welcome

[mountainchick]

I love chocolate...and when I say I LOVE chocolate, I mean I have it everyday...but just a little.

I'm the same way you have been with diet soda. I don't drink any soda, and when I do I'll have a little and it just tastes too sweet.

I know I could never give up chocolate. Nope, nada, can't make me, try to make me and I'll crave it even more. And I'm overweight as well. Its just something that I've resigned that I'm not going to give up, and I have to improve myself in other ways.

Maybe you could give it up, and "treat" yourself once a month or something?? You'll lose the weight if calories out>calories in...just remember to make the right choices in all of your other foods.

Keep cycling...it sounds like you're already addicted to that if you went on a cycling holiday!

I don't have any real advice...just to say, don't give up and we're here for you.

And BTW...I'll be leaving the world of "up over" for the land "down under" this summer. I'll be in Brisbane and Sydney if you're in one of those areas or close to we can go riding!

[Thistle]

And BTW...I'll be leaving the world of "up over" for the land "down under" this summer. I'll be in Brisbane and Sydney if you're in one of those areas or close to we can go riding!

Hey mountainchick. i'm in canberra... about 300 kms SW of sydney. i'd love to go riding with you... any chance you'll make it to canberra? just let me know

[mountainchick]

I'll keep you updated, and I'll bring the chocolate! I kid I kid...

[run it, ride it]

Try gradually darkening the chocolate you eat. Milk chocolate can disappear by the bar, but 70% dark? You still get the satisfaction of chocolate, but it's BITTER, so you don't want to eat a lot.

Give'r a try! You don't have to give up chocolate, just give up the sweeteners in it!

[LBTC]

I agree with the others. Darker, healthier chocolate in reasonable portions is the ultimate answer.

But I think that your challenge is to get from here to there. And I don't disagree that cold turkey is the wrong way to do it. Perhaps after you've been chocolate free for a bit of time, you'll be able to sample a very different type of chocolate - 70% cocoa, organic or even beet sugar, etc; without having the same need to overindulge.

One other thought: I'm no professional, but your descriptions sound more like an eating disorder than a mere addiction to chocolate, and I wonder if you would consider seaking professional help?

Any way that you decide to do this, we're here to support you!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[ace]

Hi Thistle,

I feel for you, and can really relate, agewise (I'm 45), weightwise (at one point, I weighed 300 lbs- I'm 5'5), and addictionwise (have dealt with a disturbed relationship with food for most of my life). And dealing with an addiction to food is really tough. I think the main difference between being addicted to food and being addicted to alcohol/drugs can be summed up like this: when you become abstinent from abusing alcohol/drugs, you put the tiger in a cage, and leave it there. When you become abstinent from abusing food, you put the tiger in a cage, and then have to take it out for a walk three times a day. It is really hard to find the right balance between not abusing food, yet still being able to enjoy it.

Whatever anyone else says about their own relationship to chocolate, only you can know whether it's something you can never, ever have, or if you just have to cut back. But be careful about setting yourself up by saying you can never have it- forever is a pretty long time! Might be easier to just give yourself a goal of not eating it for a week, then see how you feel.

One thing that really helps me is I don't have any food in my house that I don't want myself to eat. If I'm going to have candy, I bring home a small packet. If I bring home enough for 10 people, I'll eat it at one sitting. This is one of the changes I've made that have helped me lose 85 lbs over the past 5 years (still got about 65 to go).

Be nice and gentle with yourself, and please let us know how your experiment is going.

Best,
Amy

[solveig]

You CAN give it up. Not necessarily that you should give it up forever...but I have a similar relationship with sweets. I went cold turkey...ate no sugar for a week, and had really classic addiction withdrawal symptoms. Edgy, cranky, etc...but I filled the time with something else and regained a whole lot of time that I had previously spent thinking about how rotten my digestive system felt.

I do still eat sugar / chocolate occasionally, but in far lesser quantities and frequency. But the experience of eating none for a while is one I learned from and that I'd recommend.

Good luck!

S

[Offthegrid]

I have binged on food off and on for a long time. My highest weight ever was 270 pounds several years ago.

One of the things I was taught is that if you make any food forbidden, you're much more likely to binge on it. Instead, it is healthier to eat a small portion of the food you are craving. Much easier said than done, I know.

An example from my life. Right now I personally am working on drinking less diet soda. In the past, I tried to give up diet soda altogether and could not do it. This time I've not banned it altogether from my diet, but I am not drinking it at work. Now I'm drinking far more water and feel better. Maybe you could try something similar.

In the end, see what works for you. Maybe there is a new hobby you could try instead of chocolate that could give you some of the same benefits. I find knitting very relaxing and it keeps the hands busy. Same with writing in a journal, scrapbooking, whatever.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I am another one who could eat chocolate until I felt ill.
I discovered if I get that STRONG 70% or higher cacao content chocolate, I feel completely chocolate-satisfied after 2 or 3 tiny squares. There is something in chocoalte that we crave- and it's actually GOOD for us! But most commercial choclate has so much sugar and added lecithin and fat and milk that you have to eat a huge amount to get what your body is REALLY craving in pure chocolate.

Try it- it solved my chocolate problems completely! Now I can have good choc. and not eat a half a pound of crap in the process!

[Crankin]

I eat 2 small squares of really good dark chocolate every day. Usually after dinner, but if I'm home, sometimes after lunch. It completely takes away any urge for dessert that I might be feeling. When my husband goes to Europe he buys like 15 giant bars of a certain style of Nestle bar that you just can't get in the states. If we can't have that, we buy the Hershey's dark chocolate bars.
Thankfully, he goes to Europe every 8 weeks or so...

[lauraelmore1033]

I find some of those energy bars which balance the sweet (carbohydrates) with protein to be quite satisfying. I love Balance bars which come in many decadent flavors like chocolate mint and caramel and nut. I'm told we should eat about 100 calories per hour of riding, and so for a 30+mile ride, for instance, I feel absolutely obligated to eat at least one and a half of these delicious treats. I've lost more than 30 pounds over the last year eating this way, so I must not be too far wrong. Having permission to eat candy while riding reduces much of its allure. I even give myself permission to have them when I'm not riding. They don't give you the blood sugar crash that candy does and they go a long way toward alleviating that terrible, desperate, doing-without feeling that can lead to binging.

[smilingcat]

Many of the comments remind me of "Why French Women don't get Fat" book. French snobbery is quite obvious in the book but the jist of it all is eat only high quality and in small portions. The high quality will satiate your desire to eat volume.

Anyway, I do agree about eating dark chocolate 70% cocoa content. one or two small truffles with coffee. And let the truffles melt in your mouth and savior the taste. When you eat it slowly like this, your hunger mechanism in your body has a chance to respond and tell you its enough.

And you don't have to go to Godiva for the chocolate (IMHO, after godiva was bought out by Nestles about 20 years ago, their truffles have taken a nose dive. Its not the same from pre-Nestle days).

You can find very high quality chocolate at Trader Joes. Really. oops just realized Thistle is down under so Trader Joes means nothing to her. but for those here in US its a thought.

Lindt chocolate is very very good high quality and its cheap.
Peters chocolate (Its American) is still good but it was recently acquired by Hersheys ??

I use Callabaut bitter chocolate (65% cocoa) from Belgium in my brownies, double double chocolate-chocolate chip cookies...

Shawn

[Bikingmomof3]

Thistle,
You have been giving some great advice. I know for me, banning a food does not work. That said, only you know how you feel. What concerns me is if you choose to give up chocolate, your coping mechanism, what do you have in mind to replace the chocolate? You will still need some form of coping mechanism(s) in place. Just a thought. Keep us updated and we are here for support.

[Thistle]

Thanks for all the responses. It was great to read them!

I really appreciate your opinions and your personal stories. Ace i really relate to what you said.

I am seeing a counsellor and a dietitian and have been for a while. They have been trying to "move" me to a non-hunger type eating that doesnt involve applying moral judgements (such as "good" and "bad") to food, but rather eat what you want if you really want it (as opposed to eating for coping mechanisms). It's based on Rick Kausman's work www.ifnotdieting.com.au. I've read his book and agree with all the principles and agree that diet research shows restrictions dont help with overeating... but....I am really struggling with this, and feel like my eating (of chocolate) is way out of control I am getting really scared that this will never change. I have made some changes, sometimes i am aware of eating for emotional reasons and i havent eaten as much, but the underlying "eat for comfort" is not changing and i'm panicking

hence, the "if i can give up diet coke (and boy did i love that) maybe i can give up chocolate".

There was definitely a theme of going with dark chocolate, preferably good quality, and that makes sense. I know dark chocolate is lower GI than milk and so wont spike my blood sugar levels the same way. maybe i can try that.

I am really so frightened... which sounds silly, but i am . I didnt have any chocolate yesterday, and i feel really good, but i'm realistic enough to know that it wont be long before that coping mechanism is screaming my name.

I have tried to replace eating with sudoku and kakuro. I feel strongly i need something to do with my hands, and something i can take with me on social outings and do. obviously these puzzles dont qualify! i've tried a rubik's cube, but it's too hard and i get frustrated. i kind of wonder if a stress ball-type toy would help.

Anyway, before this becomes a book, i'll stop. I appreciate the comments, and welcome any more feedback. It really helps to hear your opinions. I will wait for the next chocolate craving and try some lindt dark chocolate (no we dont know about trader joes downunder , but i do know about every type of chocolate available to man in this country!).

Thanks for the feedback and feel free to send me more. I really appreciate your views and experience.

Thea