Creepiness? Or just friendly?

[pooks]

Did he realize you were with your husband? That's doubly-odd, if he was behaving that way with your husband right there.

[Aint Doody]

I think I have to vote for CREEPY. Where are his manners if he's friendly?

[Triskeliongirl]

I think it is very important to follow your gut. If this guy made you feel uncomfortable, then maybe there was a good reason. I have been followed on my road bike by creepy men in cars. When it happens, I stop, text message the license plate number to my son with a just in case, look them straight in the eye, and inform them that I have just reported them to the police, and that they need to back off. I don't mountain bike so I am not sure the best equivalent thing to do, but obviously phoning either home or the park police are good options.

[lizbids]

I have to be honest, I wouldn't ignore a gut-feeling. I was walking back from the subway one night (9pm-ish), and this one man was literally coming up behind me and not walking around me, so finally I turned sharply on my heel and looked at him as if to say, "Back the f**k up, buddy." And he acted insulted. He actually said, "You don't have to be so worried; not all guys are out to hurt you." So I walked on and called over my shoulder, "But you're not a woman, are you?" Like I was supposed to soothe his ego! He got the point.
I'd rather make Mr. Creepy fake hurt feelings (or even have hurt feelings!) than be sorry for being "nice," which I think a lot of predators rely on. I'd rather be a cold-hearted b**ch and preserve my health, body and mind...and do you really care if a stranger thinks you're "mean"? Trust yourself...the world tells women all the time not to, and I think that's a shame.

[wannaduacentury]

I have to be honest, I wouldn't ignore a gut-feeling. I was walking back from the subway one night (9pm-ish), and this one man was literally coming up behind me and not walking around me, so finally I turned sharply on my heel and looked at him as if to say, "Back the f**k up, buddy." And he acted insulted. He actually said, "You don't have to be so worried; not all guys are out to hurt you." So I walked on and called over my shoulder, "But you're not a woman, are you?" Like I was supposed to soothe his ego! He got the point.
I'd rather make Mr. Creepy fake hurt feelings (or even have hurt feelings!) than be sorry for being "nice," which I think a lot of predators rely on. I'd rather be a cold-hearted b**ch and preserve my health, body and mind...and do you really care if a stranger thinks you're "mean"? Trust yourself...the world tells women all the time not to, and I think that's a shame.

You are so right. I've heard that decent men getting chewed out(didn't mean to show any harm toward a woman, but got in her personal space theory) by women taking care of themselves rather suffer the punishment and tell it later hoping that their own moms, sister's, wives, even daughters would do the same in a given situation. And I wouldn't worry about their feelings. a self defense course is an excellent idea too.

[Kimmyt]

I ride on the trail alot by myself, since my schedule never seems to match up with the group I used to ride with. Therefore, I always run into 'creepy guys'.

Usually, though, I can tell that they're not really creepy, that it's just my overactive imagination putting me in faux dangerous situations.

Sometimes I may really have a cause for worry. The homeless-looking people that stumble along the trail scare me, sometimes, because I don't know what they may do. So do the groups of kids that hang around and play basketball by the trail. Last year I heard of a cyclist who got mugged by a group of high school kids.

Sometimes people are just weird, and I know I'm being defensive by getting creeped out or angry at them, but I am very sensitive to personal space.

The other day I was on the trail and I came up on a guy riding a pleasure bike. He was not going very fast, so I passed him. He cocked his head as I approached, though, and I think he must have heard me about to pass him, and suddenly he sped up. That sucker was going fast! I had to really gun it to get around him, thinking that he wouldn't be able to hang long at that speed, but when I got in front of him he sucked onto my back tire.

It got me angry. 1) Because I had no idea who he was, and how well he knew how to handle a bike while he was inches from my tire and 2) I didn't know if he was doing it for some other reason. I slowed down, and he tried to talk to me, but I didn't say a word. He was in my space. I slowed down alot and let him get away from me, but when I continued my ride I ended up coming up on him again. The same thing happened this time! Finally I stopped riding all together, got off my bike, and watched him teeter off into the distance.

The thing is, I wouldn't have passed him if I thought he would speed up. I usually only pass people who i know I will drop quickly, because I hate to play leapfrog. I am perfectly fine with slowing down so that someone has more personal space, because I know how I appreciate mine.

But it was like this guy had no clue. Plus, I think his sudden bursts of speed were really just meant to impress me or something, although i could have cared less and instead ended up wanting to punch him in the face.

Anyway, the point of the rambling is, yes I have been in your situation before, and yes it upsets me. i don't like anyone on my tail unless I know them or they have asked to be there. My boyfriend doesn't feel at all the same, we've talked about it before, but I won't give in (neither will he). He doesn't care if a stranger drafts, but I hate the idea of anyone I don't know that close to me.

It could very well be gender-related, but it's probably more of a personality thing.

[Grog]

Quite creepy. Lots of cyclists on the road here, and once in a while I end up drafting off someone, or the other way around. Don't mind the chat. However I've had one creepy event (just a gut feeling) and told the guy I didn't want anyone drafting off me.

I suggest doing the same thing, telling the guy to either drop back or pass you, you're not wanting anyone on your wheel.

There's always snot rockets, also.

I like to imagine that a guy with bad intentions wouldn't find a likely victim in a woman who performs good snot rockets... !!!

[KnottedYet]

I've run into creepy white-bearded bike guy on the Burke Gilman Trail, so he obviously uses the whole of Sammamish and Burke.

His MO seems to be hanging on a woman's wheel until she stops her bike. Then he tries to chat or just hangs around until she starts riding again. (I could NOT get rid of him until I caught up with my group and made them all stop so he went by.)

He is creepy.

Next time I see him I'll yell at him not to draft and to go around.

[lauraelmore1033]

gotta learn how ta make me some of them snot rockets. Priceless suggestion!

[Derf]

I've run into creepy white-bearded bike guy on the Burke Gilman Trail, so he obviously uses the whole of Sammamish and Burke.

His MO seems to be hanging on a woman's wheel until she stops her bike. Then he tries to chat or just hangs around until she starts riding again. (I could NOT get rid of him until I caught up with my group and made them all stop so he went by.)

He is creepy.

Next time I see him I'll yell at him not to draft and to go around.

Ugh. You are all seeing the same creepy guy? Please carry mace or something and be careful. Men that do things like this drive me crazy. It's harassing.

[Tuckervill]

I think he was enjoying the "view", which puts him high on the creep-o-meter.

My natural reaction would be to look back after I first noticed him and say, "How ya doin?", in a measured not-too-friendly tone, and then judge my gut based on his response. Then I'd stop where there were people around, and not engage him anymore, or take the first exit off the trail and head towards civilization or a crowded place. Of course, with hubby there (he's never in front of me, but if he was) I'd do my famous ear splitting whistle and hubby would be right by my side.

The bicycle cop guy would p*** me off, because 'hey, duckhead, I can HEAR my bottom bracket clicking, too! What do you think, that it doesn't drive me nuts with every pedal stroke, especially since I can't seem to figure out what it is?! What do you think I am, an imbecile?"

Karen

[VeloVT]

I agree with everyone that you should trust your gut about creepy situations. I also probably tend to be a bit over-reactive about perceiving creepiness in strange men though...

I do have a question about this "riding behind a stranger" issue though --

I was riding the other day with a girl from one of my classes. She was struggling along on a mountain bike with underinflated tires... working really hard. After accidentally losing her a few times, I suggested she ride ahead and I would follow (since I certainly wouldn't want to always feel like I needed to catch up). This went well and we continued for most of our loop this way, until the last section which is a gradual, but very long hill. She was really struggling and told me to go ahead and she would catch up. I didn't really feel good about doing this, but she insisted. So I went ahead, then at a certain point slowed down quite a bit, to look behind me (I didn't want to get too far ahead). As a was coasting uphill looking behind me, some guy in full kit from somewhere, full skinsuit, booties, matching windbreaker, etc, fancy bike, rear mounted bottle cages, passes me. This piques my competitive devil a little bit (dude, don't think you're that much faster than I am just because I'm a girl on a pink bike coasting uphill) and I catch him and stay with him for about a mile. We were going fast -- a pace I could sustain but one which had me working. It was fun... I was not right on his wheel, I would say half/three quarters of a bike length behind. At that point I pulled into a driveway to wait for my friend (we were riding on a somewhat busy road that is popular with cyclists for its rolling hills, wide shoulders and gorgeous views). I didn't announce my presence or try to talk to him, it's possible that he didn't even know I was there, since I never saw him look back (though I could hear him shift so presumably he could hear me shift as well).

At the time I was unsure if it was "rude" to follow a stranger like this -- would my behaviour here fall into the same creepy/annoying category as this white-bearded guy???

[Grog]

At the time I was unsure if it was "rude" to follow a stranger like this -- would my behaviour here fall into the same creepy/annoying category as this white-bearded guy???

It doesn't make you creepy (Geonz's answer is great) but it put you at a potential risk of hurting yourself, especially if 1) the guy doesn't know you're there or 2) the guy doesn't know how to draft someone else (and don't be fooled by the fancy clothes and bike, it doesn't mean much).

If there's a hill and he stands up (or sits back down), his bike will sort of "jerk back" (actually it's only slowing down while you keep pretty much the same pace) and you can bump into his wheel. Or if for some reason he brakes suddenly or even coasts, at the moment when you were not 100% attentive, you can also touch his wheel (or worse). He'll be fine, but you'll go down.

I don't think it's especially rude to draft off another roadie, but I find it really important to let that person know you're there. I'd really be mad if I someone drafting off me crashed in traffic because I didn't know they were there.

[quint41]

I didn't read all the posts, but I did see one that I have to agree with .... ladies, if you feel uncomfortable, SAY SOMETHING. As girls, we are raised to not make waves, to not speak up, to be nice all the time. I'm not saying we have to been nasty, but we DO need to learn to speak up. If a guy did not like the way someone was behaving on a ride, you'd bet he'd say something. He wouldn't necessarily be rude about it, but he'd speak up!

I don't like people drafting me. I'm not a strong enough and confident enough rider yet. There are only a couple of people who I will allow to draft me, but they are well aware of my ability, and they are very experienced riders. Others who try to draft me, I simply turn and tell them that drafting makes me nervous, would they please move away, thank you. I've never gotten bad feedback for doing that.

(I used to watch my girls play softball. Never fail, in the outfield, two girls would run for the flyball and at the last minute, they would both stop short and the ball would hit the ground. One dad, who is a psychologist, called it the "you first" method of playing outfield ... "You first. No, really! You were there first, I insist!" Put two boys in the outfield, and one might end up with a concussion, but the ball would definitely be in someone's glove!)

[missymaya]

I agree with the rest of the ladies that this was a definately a creepmaster. I ride the trail everyday to get to and from work and in the early mornings it's not bad but in the afternoons you get some homeless people fishing and some suspicious charaters and a few months ago a woman was attacked and raped there. I make a note of what they look like and where they're at and ride as far on the opposite side as possible. Usually these people are harmless but I don't know if any of them will try to hurt me.
I haven't been in this particular situation but if it were me, I would definately say something and say it forcefully and loud (not yelling loud but loud enough) so that he should get the point to back off. If he still doesn't get the point pull out the cell and make a call and let the creep know that your notifying authorities about him. If DH is with you, use that to your advantage. I'm not saying women are helpless, but there is power in numbers and DH would probably scare the creep off.
Hope this creep backs off and safe riding.