How do you explain one of them...

[Crankin]

In the past few years, I have stopped taking on extra things, like committee work, projects, etc. Now I know teaching is a little different, but once you set the expectation that you are the one that does everything better and "more," it is hard to scale back. Thankfully, I can manage getting up early and I get to work at 6:40, when I really don't need to be there until 7:30. I get most of my work done then (planning, etc) as well as during my regularly scheduled planning period. I think that people know that once the weather turns nicer, I am out of here by 3. I tend to stay later one day a week. I grade papers at home, after my ride or other exercise.
But, I admit to cancelling other types of obligations such as dental appointments because the weather was nice!
But, this is one of the reasons I am resigning/retiring in June. I am ready for some fun. I never thought I would want to stop working at age 53; I have always been a type A workaholic.
By the way, my husband is a boss like Mr. Silver. He sets the tone by prominantly displaying his bike in his office and going on lunch rides, or riding to work. His boss runs at lunch. The whole company works on the premise that happy employees (and fit ones) are productive employees.

[SheFly]

You need to set expectations. From my perspective, your managers are giving you more work/responsibilitiy because you do a good job. If you don't say anything about the additionaly workload, and continue to do a good job, they are going to continue to give you more work/responsibility. It's a viscious cycle.

I decided after my last job that my work/life balance was extremely important to me. The best approach that I ever took was to be upfront with my boss about what I would and wouldn't do. After working together for 5 years, he now knows that Tues is sprint night, Weds is TT night, and Thurs is team training night, and that I don't work past 11:30 am on Friday. The flip of that is that I am also flexible enough that I can be available if something really requires my attention.

So, I was open and honest, continue to get my work done (well), and am flexible enough to meet my manager's requirements. In return, he tells me that I have a terrific work/life balance . Have the conversation - it's really worth it.

SheFly

[Jo-n-NY]

Although I do not work 11 hours a day, my commute to Manhattan makes it an 11 hour day. I leave at 6:12 by 5:12. When daylight savings time begins I am out on my bike right when I get home. I have food prepared that I can quickly heated up and I am out the door usually for no more than an hour, but my motto is something is better than nothing and it keeps me happy. I use to live just 10-15 minutes from my house until they moved the company so this was a major adjustment for me.

I agree with the others, that if you need to leave earlier a few days a week or whatever it takes to keep you mentally happy, do not tell your employer exactly what it is for. What is important to you, is usually not important to the other person.

I think with some adjustments figured out here and there, this will all work out for you and you will be back on your bike.

PS...in the winter I continue my schedule but on the trainer to keep the momentum.

~ JoAnn

[LBTC]

Kimmy, you've had some good advice here, and I'll add my two cents, too.

Ask for help. It's something that those of us who do a good job are loathe to do (why is that? does it make us look weak or something?), but you are clearly given more than work than you have the capacity to do during reasonable hours.

Make a list of the tasks a junior employee (is there a spare board, a filing clerk, any temp employees?), could take on that would give you the time to get the important work done. Have a clear and concise plan of what your goal is and what is going to fall off the plate without more resources at your disposal.

The other idea I have is that if you are working until 5 anyway, do not go to work early. Go for your ride in the morning before you go to work, and arrive at work with your exercise done, full of energy and....at the same time as the rest of the workers.

Don't do what I did. I was doing longer hours (not as long as you, but apparently I don't have the tolerance for that), and didn't ask for help and my body basically told me to stop. I haven't actually missed any work, except for medical tests, since we started working towards the diagnosis of Crohn's that I received in November, but my work has suffered (my filing is about 3 months behind), and the rest of my life has suffered, too. You do not want to be here. Do not work this hard, your health is far too important!!

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[quint41]

You need to have an honest discussion with your boss. Saying no when they try to give you new assignments will backfire on you. You need to talk to the boss, but it's all in how you present it.

I would not approach it from the angle that working 6-6 is killing you and you just can't take it any more. Rather, I'd approach it from the angle that you find yourself feeling anxious, stressed and out of sorts because you drive yourself so hard that you no longer make time to take care of yourself. Tell your boss that in the past, you made time to cycle after work 3 times per week, but you are such a workaholic that you find you are not making that time anymore, and it's starting to affect you negatively. You really miss it. Now that the sun isn't setting until after 7, and it's warming up, you are really itching to get some exercise for your health and sanity, but it's impossible when you come to work at 6 and don't leave until 6.

See ... you present it like it's YOUR problem, and you are asking your boss for advice ... what do YOU think I could do to change this situation, because I'm afraid if I don't make time for myself to get some exercise and take care of myself, I am going to burn out. I love my job, I love doing it well, but I know I need to take care of myself at the same time and am having trouble doing that.

It wouldn't help to cite some articles that you've read recently about the importance of finding a balance between work and personal life. Try these:
http://www.worklifebalance.com/workl...cedefined.html
http://www.businessweek.com/1996/38/b34931.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work-life_balance
http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH...=dmtHMSContent

I learned one thing a long time ago ... if I eat lunch at my desk, it won't take long for "them" to expect me to eat lunch at my desk. If I go to the cafeteria, THAT will be the anomoly. When I took the job that I currently have, I made the decision to NEVER eat at my desk unless it could absolutely not be helped. I leave my desk every single day, whether it's to eat or take a walk around the building. I take the bus to work. That limits how late I can stay, because if I miss that last bus, I'm stuck. (And nobody needs to know what time the "last bus" really leaves -- it's not like anyone's going to look it up.) You know what I'm saying? Sometimes we create our own problems.

Hey, how about this, too? Why don't you see if anyone else in your office rides? If so, start a fun biking group of coworkers. One day a week, you all leave at a reasonable hour and go for a ride. Even if they don't bike at the same level as you, it would be fun, you can coach them along, and you'd also now have others who share your desire to balance work and wellness!

Good luck.

[GLC1968]

You've gotten some good advice here, and I think I might try and utilize some of it myself!

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I came home a couple of times last week ready to blow my lid because I'd missed my riding oportunities. I missed group rides AND I missed being able to commute because I had work to do. I don't necessarily take on too much work, but I totally suck at asking for help. It's like admitting that I can't do it all and aren't we told from birth that as women, we CAN do it all?!? My situation is that I work for a company where they do believe in balance...just not always for us non-parents. Plus, I have two very high profile assignments, and I feel like everyone is watching and that I need to prove myself every day...even when others don't. Add to this that it's not my direct supervisor who is asking all this of me....it's the project. My supervisor would be happy to say "go home" with a smile on his face, but he's not the one on the conf call with the customer having to admit to not having all the analysis done (or whatever). The work HAS to get done...somehow...

Anyway, two days last week, I managed to escape for a lunch ride (only 17 miles..but WAY better than nothing) and it made a huge difference. This week, I'm determined to not let work get in the way of my group ride (which is tonight) and my commutes.

I think that somehow, you are going to have to find a way to fit it in. Maybe it's coming in later, maybe it's leaving early at least one day each week, maybe it's by riding at lunch...whatever you can do to get it in there. Speaking from my experience last week, even just one ride a week will really, really help. Hang in there and know that you are not alone!

[Triskeliongirl]

I am one of those science PhDs, and for me I find the most effecient way to ride during the work week is by cycle commuting. Then I do club rides early sat. and sun. morning. Its not just about how it looks to your boss, its about what lets you get your work done and feel sane while doing it. Now, maybe if I was training to race this plan wouldn't work, but I do find the commuting miles, while not fast miles, are real miles, and notice the change in performance on my weekend rides when I am not doing them. If you are more serious about training than me, perhaps you could also combine a training ride with a commuting ride. Then all you have to ask you boss for is access for a shower rather than released time from work.

[li10up]

I too have one of those live to work instead of work to live bosses. You'd think he would have changed his perspective after the heart attack....nope. If something comes up at 5pm, even if it isn't an emergency, he doesn't want to wait until the next morning to address it. It's hard to say, "Hey, boss...I have a life you know."

Maybe you can just tell him that you have some "personal business." ???

If you figure it out I'm sure there are a bunch of us who would like to know how you resolved it. Good luck!

[Trek420]

It's not just professionals. I'm a union customer service rep, my job IS 9 -5 (well 8:30 - 5:30). I take an hour lunch and if I'm on a call a nano'second after 5:30 it's OT.

It's a good job, fabulous benefits, pay's good and every once in a while I really get to help people But i gotta have my "me" time.

While others in the office take half hour lunches I NEEEEEED that hour to walk, go to the gym, sometimes just climb stairs in the building or I'll climb the walls.

And if I'm talking to you on the phone and it's stuff I could quote in my sleep if you woke me up at 3 am to ask me to define your LATA (please don't ) .... I may be stretching.

Or used to be.

We do reports, follow ups, adjustments, orders that our managers used to do and to keep up (since there's less and less time to do it) often it's on "overlap" in other words if you can't do 5 things at once this job is not for you.

We get more training than most people in the industry but the information overload and sifting through and absorbing the constant change in systems, tools and outright products is like keeping your head above water in a sinking ship.

I must do ok at it because I'm the go-to gal on most things for our entire floor.

Now I may be on the way out the door and it's "Trek? " this and "Trek " that with questions and I know if i stop to help you ... I miss my workout.

There's one rep in particular who feels I'm not a team player to not stop on my time to assist him on my time and acts like it's personal. It's not, I just gotta go

But looking below my desk and seeing cycling shoes and slipping them on during that last call of the day .... makes it all fade away.

[Laterider21958]

It may be a case of "If you want something done, give it to a busy person". Sometimes people don't understand or take into account all the different tasks that are undertaken in a day and when new tasks are delegated, some minor (and often unnecessary ones) are retained. When new work is added to your already bulging workload, something has to drop off the end. It sounds like you don't slack off during a day.

I am not in a highflying position, but was someone who didn't want to say no to colleagues and would often say yes, when I'd rather say no. Working with workaholics made me feel like I would be letting the side down if I didn't put in extra hours and take home stuff. Now I am braver (older and more experienced) and have begun to say no. Mainly to after hours non-paid extra expectations placed upon me i.e. meetings & training and development not relevant to my position. It is very liberating, though I do still have an attack of the guilts occasionally. When at work I am thoroughly dedicated to the job and work flat out. There is never a slack day.

Perhaps you could "break your boss/es in" gradually by leaving "on time" once a fortnight and then once a week and then more regularly, so they realise you won't be available after hours on those days. Prioritise - your health and wellbeing is important. Think about it - if you continue on this path, eventually your health will decline. Taking sick days off will be even less productive for your company.

[pooks]

Just for the record, I second (or third or fifth) the motion that you log your hours and show them. It seems to me if you're putting in a lot of hours when nobody else is there, you may need something tangible to show so that the guy "gets it" and understands the number of hours you're putting in.

The other question I have that I haven't seen answered (but maybe I missed it) is -- have you specifically arranged with your boss that you are coming into work early so that you can get off early? Or are you doing this on your own, and then feel odd leaving early in case others don't realize why you're doing it?