How do you explain one of them...

[Mr. Bloom]

just say that to stay sane and productive, you need to have some time for physical activity. And you are more than willing to put in the time, but there are some days when you might only work an 8 hour day, and you hope she/he can respect that... so you can keep working hard and not go nuts.

As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

Regardless of your political orientation, you have to acknowledge that President Bush is able to have scheduled exercise everyday...and he leads one of the largest countries in the world!

So, if the prez can do it, we can too.

[East Hill]

I don't think you have to say "I need to go ride my bike", so much as "I need some time to do physical activity which will allow me to focus better on the tasks at hand, and I'll need this much time per day to fit in this exercise".

I know what it's like, I've been working six days a week for far too long because the management here do not wish to make the person who has a bid to relieve me actually LEARN the job. He's on 'light duty' because HE's stressed. Apparently I don't count. So, I ride my bike everyday.

East Hill

[Blueberry]

As a boss, I would honor this...but I encourage you to write out what you would say and practice it before you actually say it. Be sincere in your delivery.

I make sure that people know that I (and they) are better off with balance in life. I honor this and model it for my employees.

Mr. Silver-

Sadly, I would say that this puts you in the minority of bosses, based on what I've seen. Of course, I work in a worse than average profession (law) in a very large firm.

Our billable hours requirements actually jumped significantly a couple of months ago, and we haven't been paid any more money. The entire attitude is "how many hours can we squeeze out of each person." Need to take care of a family member? Only if it's a convenient time. You're really sick - you can't take a sick day unless it's convenient (which means almost never). You thought you were leaving early (6) - ha - have this 6 hour project on my desk before your go (nope, not a court or client deadline). I can never predict when I'll be home. There's been half serious discussion about what kind of stimulants (e.g. caffeine) and in what doses most effectively let people get 4 hours of sleep so we can work more. Their entire concept of work-life balance is 1) being passionate about your work so it is your life and 2) telling you how to hire people to do other stuff in your life so that you can work more.

So....kudos to you for what you're doing! I can only wish there were more like you out there.

[Crankin]

In the past few years, I have stopped taking on extra things, like committee work, projects, etc. Now I know teaching is a little different, but once you set the expectation that you are the one that does everything better and "more," it is hard to scale back. Thankfully, I can manage getting up early and I get to work at 6:40, when I really don't need to be there until 7:30. I get most of my work done then (planning, etc) as well as during my regularly scheduled planning period. I think that people know that once the weather turns nicer, I am out of here by 3. I tend to stay later one day a week. I grade papers at home, after my ride or other exercise.
But, I admit to cancelling other types of obligations such as dental appointments because the weather was nice!
But, this is one of the reasons I am resigning/retiring in June. I am ready for some fun. I never thought I would want to stop working at age 53; I have always been a type A workaholic.
By the way, my husband is a boss like Mr. Silver. He sets the tone by prominantly displaying his bike in his office and going on lunch rides, or riding to work. His boss runs at lunch. The whole company works on the premise that happy employees (and fit ones) are productive employees.

[SheFly]

You need to set expectations. From my perspective, your managers are giving you more work/responsibilitiy because you do a good job. If you don't say anything about the additionaly workload, and continue to do a good job, they are going to continue to give you more work/responsibility. It's a viscious cycle.

I decided after my last job that my work/life balance was extremely important to me. The best approach that I ever took was to be upfront with my boss about what I would and wouldn't do. After working together for 5 years, he now knows that Tues is sprint night, Weds is TT night, and Thurs is team training night, and that I don't work past 11:30 am on Friday. The flip of that is that I am also flexible enough that I can be available if something really requires my attention.

So, I was open and honest, continue to get my work done (well), and am flexible enough to meet my manager's requirements. In return, he tells me that I have a terrific work/life balance . Have the conversation - it's really worth it.

SheFly

[Jo-n-NY]

Although I do not work 11 hours a day, my commute to Manhattan makes it an 11 hour day. I leave at 6:12 by 5:12. When daylight savings time begins I am out on my bike right when I get home. I have food prepared that I can quickly heated up and I am out the door usually for no more than an hour, but my motto is something is better than nothing and it keeps me happy. I use to live just 10-15 minutes from my house until they moved the company so this was a major adjustment for me.

I agree with the others, that if you need to leave earlier a few days a week or whatever it takes to keep you mentally happy, do not tell your employer exactly what it is for. What is important to you, is usually not important to the other person.

I think with some adjustments figured out here and there, this will all work out for you and you will be back on your bike.

PS...in the winter I continue my schedule but on the trainer to keep the momentum.

~ JoAnn

[LBTC]

Kimmy, you've had some good advice here, and I'll add my two cents, too.

Ask for help. It's something that those of us who do a good job are loathe to do (why is that? does it make us look weak or something?), but you are clearly given more than work than you have the capacity to do during reasonable hours.

Make a list of the tasks a junior employee (is there a spare board, a filing clerk, any temp employees?), could take on that would give you the time to get the important work done. Have a clear and concise plan of what your goal is and what is going to fall off the plate without more resources at your disposal.

The other idea I have is that if you are working until 5 anyway, do not go to work early. Go for your ride in the morning before you go to work, and arrive at work with your exercise done, full of energy and....at the same time as the rest of the workers.

Don't do what I did. I was doing longer hours (not as long as you, but apparently I don't have the tolerance for that), and didn't ask for help and my body basically told me to stop. I haven't actually missed any work, except for medical tests, since we started working towards the diagnosis of Crohn's that I received in November, but my work has suffered (my filing is about 3 months behind), and the rest of my life has suffered, too. You do not want to be here. Do not work this hard, your health is far too important!!

Good luck!

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[quint41]

You need to have an honest discussion with your boss. Saying no when they try to give you new assignments will backfire on you. You need to talk to the boss, but it's all in how you present it.

I would not approach it from the angle that working 6-6 is killing you and you just can't take it any more. Rather, I'd approach it from the angle that you find yourself feeling anxious, stressed and out of sorts because you drive yourself so hard that you no longer make time to take care of yourself. Tell your boss that in the past, you made time to cycle after work 3 times per week, but you are such a workaholic that you find you are not making that time anymore, and it's starting to affect you negatively. You really miss it. Now that the sun isn't setting until after 7, and it's warming up, you are really itching to get some exercise for your health and sanity, but it's impossible when you come to work at 6 and don't leave until 6.

See ... you present it like it's YOUR problem, and you are asking your boss for advice ... what do YOU think I could do to change this situation, because I'm afraid if I don't make time for myself to get some exercise and take care of myself, I am going to burn out. I love my job, I love doing it well, but I know I need to take care of myself at the same time and am having trouble doing that.

It wouldn't help to cite some articles that you've read recently about the importance of finding a balance between work and personal life. Try these:
http://www.worklifebalance.com/workl...cedefined.html
http://www.businessweek.com/1996/38/b34931.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work-life_balance
http://www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH...=dmtHMSContent

I learned one thing a long time ago ... if I eat lunch at my desk, it won't take long for "them" to expect me to eat lunch at my desk. If I go to the cafeteria, THAT will be the anomoly. When I took the job that I currently have, I made the decision to NEVER eat at my desk unless it could absolutely not be helped. I leave my desk every single day, whether it's to eat or take a walk around the building. I take the bus to work. That limits how late I can stay, because if I miss that last bus, I'm stuck. (And nobody needs to know what time the "last bus" really leaves -- it's not like anyone's going to look it up.) You know what I'm saying? Sometimes we create our own problems.

Hey, how about this, too? Why don't you see if anyone else in your office rides? If so, start a fun biking group of coworkers. One day a week, you all leave at a reasonable hour and go for a ride. Even if they don't bike at the same level as you, it would be fun, you can coach them along, and you'd also now have others who share your desire to balance work and wellness!

Good luck.

[GLC1968]

You've gotten some good advice here, and I think I might try and utilize some of it myself!

I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I came home a couple of times last week ready to blow my lid because I'd missed my riding oportunities. I missed group rides AND I missed being able to commute because I had work to do. I don't necessarily take on too much work, but I totally suck at asking for help. It's like admitting that I can't do it all and aren't we told from birth that as women, we CAN do it all?!? My situation is that I work for a company where they do believe in balance...just not always for us non-parents. Plus, I have two very high profile assignments, and I feel like everyone is watching and that I need to prove myself every day...even when others don't. Add to this that it's not my direct supervisor who is asking all this of me....it's the project. My supervisor would be happy to say "go home" with a smile on his face, but he's not the one on the conf call with the customer having to admit to not having all the analysis done (or whatever). The work HAS to get done...somehow...

Anyway, two days last week, I managed to escape for a lunch ride (only 17 miles..but WAY better than nothing) and it made a huge difference. This week, I'm determined to not let work get in the way of my group ride (which is tonight) and my commutes.

I think that somehow, you are going to have to find a way to fit it in. Maybe it's coming in later, maybe it's leaving early at least one day each week, maybe it's by riding at lunch...whatever you can do to get it in there. Speaking from my experience last week, even just one ride a week will really, really help. Hang in there and know that you are not alone!

[Trek420]

It's not just professionals. I'm a union customer service rep, my job IS 9 -5 (well 8:30 - 5:30). I take an hour lunch and if I'm on a call a nano'second after 5:30 it's OT.

It's a good job, fabulous benefits, pay's good and every once in a while I really get to help people But i gotta have my "me" time.

While others in the office take half hour lunches I NEEEEEED that hour to walk, go to the gym, sometimes just climb stairs in the building or I'll climb the walls.

And if I'm talking to you on the phone and it's stuff I could quote in my sleep if you woke me up at 3 am to ask me to define your LATA (please don't ) .... I may be stretching.

Or used to be.

We do reports, follow ups, adjustments, orders that our managers used to do and to keep up (since there's less and less time to do it) often it's on "overlap" in other words if you can't do 5 things at once this job is not for you.

We get more training than most people in the industry but the information overload and sifting through and absorbing the constant change in systems, tools and outright products is like keeping your head above water in a sinking ship.

I must do ok at it because I'm the go-to gal on most things for our entire floor.

Now I may be on the way out the door and it's "Trek? " this and "Trek " that with questions and I know if i stop to help you ... I miss my workout.

There's one rep in particular who feels I'm not a team player to not stop on my time to assist him on my time and acts like it's personal. It's not, I just gotta go

But looking below my desk and seeing cycling shoes and slipping them on during that last call of the day .... makes it all fade away.

[Laterider21958]

It may be a case of "If you want something done, give it to a busy person". Sometimes people don't understand or take into account all the different tasks that are undertaken in a day and when new tasks are delegated, some minor (and often unnecessary ones) are retained. When new work is added to your already bulging workload, something has to drop off the end. It sounds like you don't slack off during a day.

I am not in a highflying position, but was someone who didn't want to say no to colleagues and would often say yes, when I'd rather say no. Working with workaholics made me feel like I would be letting the side down if I didn't put in extra hours and take home stuff. Now I am braver (older and more experienced) and have begun to say no. Mainly to after hours non-paid extra expectations placed upon me i.e. meetings & training and development not relevant to my position. It is very liberating, though I do still have an attack of the guilts occasionally. When at work I am thoroughly dedicated to the job and work flat out. There is never a slack day.

Perhaps you could "break your boss/es in" gradually by leaving "on time" once a fortnight and then once a week and then more regularly, so they realise you won't be available after hours on those days. Prioritise - your health and wellbeing is important. Think about it - if you continue on this path, eventually your health will decline. Taking sick days off will be even less productive for your company.

[pooks]

Just for the record, I second (or third or fifth) the motion that you log your hours and show them. It seems to me if you're putting in a lot of hours when nobody else is there, you may need something tangible to show so that the guy "gets it" and understands the number of hours you're putting in.

The other question I have that I haven't seen answered (but maybe I missed it) is -- have you specifically arranged with your boss that you are coming into work early so that you can get off early? Or are you doing this on your own, and then feel odd leaving early in case others don't realize why you're doing it?

[Mr. Bloom]

I feel compelled to discourage defining absolutes...for example: "I will never work past 5PM".

As I said earlier, I encourage and model balance. But I also model "rising to the challenge". In other words, I can't predict tomorrow, but I know that if something urgent arises, we all need to hunker down and get it done.

Today, I did an 18 hour day, but yesterday I left a few minutes early to capitalize on the great weather for a 20 mile ride. 19 miles into that ride, I stopped and talked to my boss/CEO while he and his wife walked their dogs as they were capitalizing on the good weather as well

But, if everyday is a crisis requiring everyone to always hunker down...THEN that's my job as boss to reconsider staffing and resources to reestablish balance.

[HappyAnika]

I feel compelled to discourage defining absolutes...for example: "I will never work past 5PM".

Hmm, I don't know if this was aimed at me or not, but I'll clarify anyway. I don't necessarily work in time absolutes. The only absolute for me is that work is not the most important thing in my life. This week I'm working 10 - 12 hour days in preparation for a conference next week, so I'm staying past 5, but that's my decision (or I leave at my usual 4:30 and then work from home). To balance that, I will likely take next Friday off because my work load will allow me to at that point. I just don't like it when other people expect me to stay past 5 even though I get in early every day. If I have advance notice, I can plan around it. Or if its really important I may be able to adjust my personal schedule. Most people I work with would think it unreasonable if I called a meeting at 7:30 am, I think its unreasonable to run meetings past 5 pm.

For me its all about priorities, I stop and ask myself, what's more important here? Work or non-work? Usually the answer is non-work.

"Nobody on their death bed ever said 'I wish I'd spent more time at the office.'"

[Mr. Bloom]

Hmm, I don't know if this was aimed at me or not,

It wasn't. I'm sorry if that upset you.