My DH hammers with the boys for his fast rides. When we ride together he is really good about staying with me. He uses me as his recovery ride partner. When he rides with the boys they avg in the 20's. Me, I putter along at 12-14 tops. It takes awhile to learn each others hot buttons on rides. We also plan out rides on our GPS so there are no BIG surprises on the ride. We also go out on solo rides. You just have to find what works for you. If he wants to scream have him ride with some guys, it might be a humbling experience.