Dear So and So

[susiej]

Dear Supermarket bagger of highschool age
I know it is really hard to understand, but the reason I arrived with my stuff in the brown paper bag was so that I didn't have to take a plastic bag.
When I then explained to you that I wanted it all in 1 bag, so you emptied my brown bag and one of the plastic bags and stuck it all in one plastic bag, except for my parsnips which did not make it into ANY bag. So when I was driving out and you stopped me, thanks for giving me the parsnips in the second plastic bag...
(pulling out hair now)

don't they get it??

Nope. And they don't get it when I say "paper, no plastic" either, and pull the paper bag out of the plast and put the plastic bag on the counter.

Nor does anyone understand why I don't want one large item (a dozen toilet paper rolls, say) in one bag.

They DO seem to get it when you hand them a non-disposable bag (like the kind Whole Foods sells).

Then again, they're getting paid to work as fast as possible, and making a decision about number of bags for every customer would slow that down.

[chickwhorips]

You don't always need to be so dark, you have a pretty smile

dear adopted little sister,
i agree with our other sister.

[Grog]

Dear Bald Eagles,

You've been flying over my head since the morning, as I was coming back from the pool, and once of you even graced me with two passages right in front of my room's window as I getting ready this morning. You followed me on my way to the office, and when I was having lunch outside to enjoy the warm sun you were still high up there. It's funny to see the pigeons and blackbirds try to fly like you, but never attaining your high beauty and, I must say, efficiency. You were still there when I walked back to my office. I'm having a very poor day at school, because just when I need to be most productive at writing I have all sorts of people coming to share their problems with me. But you make my spirit soar. Please be there when I walk out of my office tonight, I'll go out just before dark so it should be pretty for you as for me. If you would like to drop by my office window you're welcome too but I know I'm on ground level and that's just not the sort of thing you do.

Thanks...

[KnottedYet]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,

Maybe you didn't notice me the first time, cuz I was so brief and to the point? Please, send me a little? Actually, right now I could use a little perspective, too.

And as long as we're at it, why do I feel like I'm having a midlife crisis? Haven't I been having these since I was 13? And what's with the hot flashes AND acne AND gray hair AND raging adolescent-style hormones? And lets not forget the incipient moustache and Andy Rooney eyebrows. If this combination weren't so darn funny, I think I'd be crying right now.

If I can't have patience and perspective and a peaceful mid-life crisis, can I at least have another bottle of wine?

Sincerely yours,
Knot

[Kitsune06]

Dear Gods and Goddesses of Patience,
Please support Knot
Dear Gods and Goddesses of Perspective
Please support Knot
Dear PNW vinyards,
Please support Knot
Dear Knot
*hug*
~aryn

[margo49]

Dear Police Sergeant F...,

Yes, I did give that 16 year old sex offender a chilly reception at the high school kiosk, but I did not refuse to sell him a sandwich, nor did I call him a sex maniac or a pervert as he cited in the complaint he laid against me. He arrived with a provocative expression on his face and smugly said that he did not want to buy anything and what had he done to deserve such a cool reception? To which I replied "Ask all those little girls"

Did it not strike you as a little bit upside down as you opened a brand new one page file in my name and slipped a copy of his complaint against me into an already bulging carton of documentation?
Did you go home that night and say to your wife "Funny old world we live in, isn't it?"

[mimitabby]

Dear great frame maker in the sky
Is there a frame for me? Am I wasting precious time and money worrying about it? and while I'm at it, will the (insert expletive here) on the east coast refund my money today?

Part of me wants to forget the whole thing; give the parts I already bought to DH and just keep on riding my perfectly lovable Bianchi.

I realize that so many people have much bigger problems, heck this doesn't even qualify as a problem! But it has vexed me.

To my credit, when I woke up last night and started worrying (and couldn't go back to sleep) It was my son that I was worrying about, not whether or not
I was ever going to find THE bike. But hey, this is a bike forum, right?
Mimi

[Susan126]

Dear weatherman, When can I expect a perfect weekend? All I ask for are two consecutive days with blue skies, sunshine, and mid 70 degree weather. Hey, I have an event coming up in less than 4 weeks and I don't know if I will be ready to do the long leg of it because you have been so uncooperative.

and Dear Trainer, thanks for pushing me when I say, "I just can't do another squat!" and you reply, "You're stronger than you think." And I discover I AM!!!!!! Then you say, "Ok I want at least 30 minutes on the treadmill after our weight session!" Groan . . .

[susiej]

And lets not forget the incipient moustache and Andy Rooney eyebrows. If this combination weren't so darn funny, I think I'd be crying right now.

Sincerely yours,
Knot

Dear Toddler Son,

Stop playing with Mommy's "beard." Mommy has a chin. Daddy has a beard. She hasn't had time to wax this week because she's been cleaning her bike, reading board books, playing with playdough and cleaning the house.

Dear Knotted,

Do you think they give group electrolysis discounts?

(And don't tell anyone, but the Australian box wines aren't that bad and you get four bottles for the price of one.)

[Tuckervill]

Nope. And they don't get it when I say "paper, no plastic" either, and pull the paper bag out of the plast and put the plastic bag on the counter.

They don't get it when I don't put my produce in those little clear plastic baggies. I'm perfectly fine with gathering all my tomatoes and apples in my hand and ringing them separately (not snap beans, though, that would be ridiculous). It's also why I use the self-check, so no one has to be inconvenienced (and I can bag my groceries according to where they go in the kitchen). Is that anal?

Karen

[mimitabby]

Karen
all I can say is ME TOO!
You are not alone, and I am comforted by the fact that I am not the only person that does this!
Mimi

[missymaya]

Dear flubug,
Why do you have to come and infect me? What did I do to deserve this horrible bug and why during spring break and when the weather is absolutely perfect? I can't go to work, go to the beach, focus on my homework, and worst of all, ride my bike!
Please leave me alone, or at least let me hold down some liquid and crackers and let me sleep at least for 4 hours. Please doctor, help me try to hold some liquid down or at least stop throwing up. It's been 3 days and I just want to go back to normal.

[crazycanuck]

Dear Australia Post & US Postal Service,Australian Customs & quarantine service

Have you seen the package RM sent me??? I know she didn't put the honey stingers in so i'm not in trouble for that

People don't send packages just to have thier respective country's postal service lose the item!

Curious in Australia (& Arizona)

C

[mary9761]

Dear one department doesn't have an idea of what the other is doing, has done or should be doing!
Thank you for screwing around long enough that I've gone since Thanksgiving with a herniated disc, not being able to watch my grandchildren, ride my bike or have much of a freaking life. I haven't seen my two grandsons since Christmas
Thank you for not knowing when my PCP made the referral for Neurosurgery that I ALREADY HAD my MRI just days before! Thank you for not letting Neuro know that I'd had my MRI so they didn't even MAKE my appointment after much questioning until mid February for APRIL 11!! Thanks Neurosurgery department for NOT returning my phone calls for MONTHS!
Thanks to all of you MORONS I have gone from sciatic pain in one leg and lower back pain with a bit of slowing down to me having to dig out my cane to walk to now me having EXTREME difficulty walking some days due to the fact I now have near excruciating pain in BOTH legs now and after spending nearly 12 hours at the freaking hospital with both my husband's appointment as well as waiting 4 hours for MY OWN, that I was hurting so bad and having so much difficulty walking that you suggested the possibility of USING A WALKER to get around better!!!! Thanks for taking me from a 46 year old grandmother who was active, riding 3500+ road miles last year, having a blast with my grandsons and getting healthier every day I was on the bike to a 46 year old near invalid that you're suggesting a FREAKING WALKER to in just a matter of a few months!!!!!
When I get seen Monday, (after MUCH squawking when the second leg got bad) Please make a wise decision and if there is any chance I need surgery don't screw around until I'm PARALYZED!!!! I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!
I'm losing my mind, I'm losing what few friends I have and I've lost nearly all of the fitness I had.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Oh, poor Mary!!!!!!!!!
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGHUGHUG)))))))))))))))))))))