Chewed up and spit out the back!

[FreshNewbie]

You go Jeni!!!
Guys always get like that. Last year when I used to ride with a really nice B+ group of guys and maybe one other girl, I always tried not to be the last one in the pack and some guys took it very personally and were playing "no I was here first" game with me But it's all good, concentrate on your own goals!!! Looks like you already doing awsome and the season only starting.

[TrekJeni]

You know, there is a silver lining to every cloud, you just have to look hard enough. Knowing that I'm further ahead on my speed than last year is good enough for me. Who cares if I fell off the back? It's a no drop ride anyway!

[DDH]

Good for you!! It's always nice when we can see the positive that comes out of our experiences. Great job, that's quite fast in my opinion anyway.

[indysteel]

TrekJeni, I had a similar experience at yesterday's ride, although it was entirely my own fault.

We started Sunday's club ride--the first of the year--as per usual. I was loosely riding with three other women and, within the first few miles, we found ourselves in a double paceline with another group of riders, none of whom I recognized. I was near the back and several of the riders in front of mine kept getting out of formation. Now, I'm not that dogmatic about pacelines, but they were getting squirrely enough that it was bothering me. So, at my first opportunity, I sprinted to the front to catch up with my friends. We quickly caught with yet another group that was riding at a good clip.

I then overheard a man behind me make a comment to his friend that the girl on the Bianchi, i.e., me, was a strong rider! Well, that made me feel great--and apparently overly ambitious--because before I knew it, one of my friends and I tore off from the pack and did the next 12 miles or so at a really strong pace. It felt great, but just before the first and only SAG, the group caught up, and I had a sneaking suspicion that my legs were toast.

After the SAG, it took a couple of miles for my legs to warm up (it was breezy and about 40 degrees), but I felt okay until we hit what should have been an easy hill to climb. I had trouble getting over it and by the end, my legs had started to cramp. I quickly fell off the back and spent the next 7 miles or so just stuggling to move. My legs finally started to uncramp, but by then, I was on my own, riding into an increasingly stiff headwind with 11 miles to go. While I generally like riding alone, I would have preferred some help with the wind.

I finished with an average speed just under 17 mph. That's pretty good for me considering that this is only my second ride of the year and the chilly temperature. I'm irritated with myself though for having pushed myself too hard early in the ride--just to show off essentially. It could have been a better ride if I'd ridden a little more smartly. I have to find a good balance between pushing myself and conserving my energy.

[li10up]

indysteel, good story. Two years ago I tried riding with the moderate club ride. I remember trying to show the guys that I "belonged" and would ride at the front at the beginning of the ride. Then toward the middle of the ride I would drop off the back. If I would have just ridden in the middle or back of the pack I might have been able to hang with them for the duration. So, I ended up not riding with them last year and just trying to make myself a stronger rider...and smarter. This year I am going to try again to ride with that group. I think I have learned from my mistakes. I'm really hoping to be able to hang with them for the whole ride. Why do we always feel like we have to prove ourselves? Not this time.

[PinkBike]

indy, averaging almost 17 is still a good clip! we had a 74 mile ride yesterday around the white tank mountains. the flier said FLATFLATFLAT and we had a perfect tail wind for the first 25 miles, then a crosswind then a head wind. i went out on my own for the tailwind and average 23.4, then the crosswinds just took it out of me and i was struggling. i just try to keep pedalling and know i will soon recover. then a group of three passed me and i jumped on and we paced all the way to the last sag. leaving the sag we turned into the wind and i just couldnt stay on. thats when i got really disheartened, and irritated at myself like you said. then the ride ends with a killer hill - short but steep - 5.9 mph! anyway, not a stellar performance.

but DH just had shoulder surgery last week so he's off the bike for probably several months, and i did learn a valuable lesson - its not the same without him. i needed him to help pull AND more importantly for the moral support. at the end of yesterdays ride i thought, "whoa, that wasnt even fun."

[indysteel]

Jeni, I'm sorry to hijack this thread, but since we're on this subject....

Yesterday's ride actually played into some self doubts that have been plagueing me since last fall. When I first starting riding, I mostly road alone and loved it. Then I started doing a lot of club rides and started to develop a bit of a love/hate thing, not with cycling but with myself. At the club rides, I met a few people that were kind enough to ride with me and we were fast friends. While it was clear that I wasn't the strongest rider in the group, I didn't feel like I was seriously holding anybody back either. Everyone was really supportive because they knew I was a new rider.

Near the end of the year, however, I started slowing down. The cold and wind really started to get to me and I don't think I'd fully recovered from back to back viruses that I had in October. At the same time, one of my closest riding buddies got a new bike. Normally, I think people overestimate the effect of a lighter bike, but her's really made a difference. She went from this clunker of Giant that didn't fit her to a carbon LeMond. In just a few rides, I realized that I was in trouble. I started looking at everyone's back...a lot.

Since then, I met a couple of women through my yoga studio who are also cyclists. While I've only ridden with them a couple of times, I tend to think that they're also stronger and faster than me. So, while it felt good to lead the pack for a while yesterday, it sucked to get dropped too. It doesn't help that one of the guys in the group said something to me about how I must have been working out over the winter since I was, at that point, keeping up with the group. I confidently told him that I had been and then, ironically, fell off the back five minutes later.

I would note that our club has both good and bad features to it. I was intrigued by Jeni's description of how her club divides everyone up by average speed. In contrast, our rides are just a free for all. The course is marked, and we start en masse. The racing types quickly disappear and are never seen again. Everyone else spends the first few miles kind of jockeying for position and, from there, we just get spread out. If you lose your group, you're liable to ride the rest of the route by yourself, which I've done many a time. So, if you can't keep up, it's not guaranteed that you're going to fall in step with other riders.

I don't want to be the girl everyone thinks of as bringing up the rear, but I also have to honest with myself and others about what my body is capable of. I'm all for trying to keep up if it will eventually make me stronger, but not at the cost of my self-esteem. I like the challenge and socializing that comes with the club rides, but I sometimes wonder if it's worth it.

I guess I don't really have a specific question for you. I just wonder if the rest of you have dealt with feeling inadequate on your bike. I can deal with the average man being faster/stronger than me, but I hate not being able to keep up with my girlfriends.

Kate