Thanks to everyone who responded - some GREAT ideas It makes me feel so much better to know I'm not the only one out there with this problem. I've been so frustrated. My BF is incredibly sweet and loves to ride together - but he just HAS to hammer it seems. He was very upset when I broke my arm, which I have to take ownership, due to poor judgement on my part - because I chose to push beyond what I could do. He rode with me on the trainer, side by side, while I healed. The worst is when we tour. He usually carried 2x the amount of weight but I still fell behind, especially on hills. I going to try having him carry everything next time - that's a great idea, lol! We've been riding more and more our own rides rather than together - guess we'll work it out. We do ride for two very different reasons - I ride to be out and to soak up scenery (and feel some speed) - He rides to push his body hard and to train. We're aware of this difference - just have to keep working on a compromise! I'm definitely going to see about finding another woman my speed to ride with. Haven't been able to talk my sister into it in the past 20 years and my kids are now too fast & crazy on the mtb - but if I keep riding with the clubs, I'm sure I'll turn up someone to ride with at my pace. Thanks again!